Time's Chain

by Kurara

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Part 16

******

"Awake?" Levin's smiling face greeted Kaoru as he woke up.


Kaoru groaned and put his hand to his forehead. "What happened?"


"You fainted after Gackt told you about Sugizo." Levin reported.


"Sugizo…"


//Kaoru… Sugizo is your twin…//


"My twin…" Kaoru let out a long breath. "I wonder if he knows."


"Gackt said he did."


Kaoru nodded. "That's why he never hit on me." He sat up and looked at Levin. "Where's Shinya?"


"He's having lunch with Andie. Shinya had me take his place while they were gone." Levin's eyes dropped. "Kaoru, if Toshiya passes… we'll all be happy, right?"


Kaoru nodded. "Hai."


"Then why… why do I feel guilty about it?" He gripped the bed sheet. "Why do I feel guilty about leaving Andie and Shinya, even if it is my true place?"


***


"Dad! I'm going out with Miyabi! I'll be back tomorrow!" Toshiya called out as he went down the stairs, only to be stopped by Shaisuke. "Otou-san? What's wrong?"


"Toshiya, where were you this past month?" Shaisuke asked firmly.


Toshiya cast his gaze down, not wanting to lie, but knowing that the truth was unreasonable. //What can I say to him?//


Shaisuke sighed sadly. "Toshiya… have I been such a bad father that you had to run away?"


Toshiya snapped his head up and bit on his lip to keep from crying. //He thought I ran away?! Well, of course he would, Toshiya! You were gone for so long, not even leaving any notice! You were going to disappear forever and never did you ONCE consider your father's feelings.// "Otou-san… it's… it' s not like that…"


"What's wrong with me? Do I not spend enough time with you? Are you jealous of Yukari and I's relationship? Are you on drugs? What, Toshiya?" Shaisuke looked firmly into Toshiya's eyes, blinking away tears.


//I'm a bad son…// Toshiya let go of his tears, letting them go down freely as he threw himself into a hug with Shaisuke. "Otou-san! Gomen ne!! I'm just a baka! Baka baka baka!" He cried into Shaisuke's shoulder as Shaisuke held him closely. "I'm just a stupid kid who fell in love…"


"In love?" Shaisuke asked.


Toshiya nodded. "Gomen ne… I'm still in love with him, but… he's unattainable… and… and I'm so sorry otou-san! I should've let you know where I was! I should've considered you! I'm so sorry!" He trembled fully, crying for himself, crying for Shaisuke, and crying for Kaoru. "I love you dad…" he gulped, "and I'm so sorry for putting you through this…"


A knock was heard on the door and they both jumped. Shaisuke smiled slightly and kissed Toshiya's cheek, pulling away to wipe the tears from Toshiya's cheeks. He smiled slightly. "Toshiya, you should go fix your makeup. I'll stall him."


Toshiya nodded. "Arigato." He turned to walk up the stairs and felt Shaisuke grab his wrist. He turned around to face him. "Otou-san?"


Shaisuke smiled weakly. "I love you too, Toshiya."


Toshiya smiled and gave Shaisuke a quick kiss on the cheek before running up the stairs again.


***


//I've fully recovered now, but would you still talk with me like this if you knew I did? Would you still spend time with me outside of an intimate setting? Sugizo… would you go back to being lost within your own arrogant self again? Even though I love you that way… it doesn't help me any to see you shut yourself off…// Ryu listened to Sugizo tell him stories about the various places they'd have sex, describing different things that Ryu would do that would cause the other man to go crazy in bed. He grinned along with it all, but one question nagged at him.


Sugizo stopped talking for an instant and just gazed at Ryu's face for a bit, causing Ryu to shift uncomfortably in his seat. "Ryu… what's troubling you?" Sugizo asked while pouting sexily.


Ryu bit his lip and looked down. "It's nothing."


Sugizo stood up and went around the table, sitting down again next to Ryu. He pulled him into his lip and started stroking his hair. Ryu laid with his eyes wide open for a moment before breathing in a sigh of contentment. "Ryu…" Sugizo said as though the words were sacred as his other hand took one of Ryu's. He held onto it, trying to comfort the other man. "Let me help…"


Ryu curled up against Sugizo and silently tears came out. Sugizo kissed Ryu's hand affectionately, causing more tears to come. "Sugizo…" Ryu sniffled out while sitting up and looking into Sugizo's brown eyes. "What do you feel for me?"


Sugizo drew back in shock. //Feel? Can I even do that? After what happened after… after I was thrown out of my home? Ryu… you'd only get hurt being with me that way… but… what pain is greater?// He bit his lip and Ryu took it as rejection, curling into a ball and sobbing.


"Sugizo… I remember now… everything… but…. you… you never wa-wanted me in th-that way… just a good f… f… fuck…"


Sugizo's nose burned with a threat of tears should any more pain come to Ryu. With trembling hands, he reached out for Ryu, turning his face to his own. Sugizo's blank stare barring into Ryu's tear- stained one. Ryu lowered his eyes, but Sugizo's face followed, making sure to stay in Ryu's view. "Ryu…"


Ryu squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head. "It's… it's okay, Sugizo… if you… if you don't want me… just… please… don't leave…" he whispered.


Sugizo said nothing, but brought Ryu into his chest and held him, combing his hands through the black hair and fighting back his own feelings.


***


"Die…" Shinya drawled while laying beside Die on their (HUGE) beg.


"Hai?" Die turned to Shinya.


"When we… um…" Shinya blushed, "the first time we… you seemed like you… knew something about it… like, you'd done it… before…"


Die laughed. "Hounto?" Shinya nodded and Die smiled, wrapping his arms around Shinya. "Well, want to know something? You…" he kissed Shinya's nose, "are my first." Shinya smiled. "But, the reason why I had these techniques is…" he gave a slight laugh, "is because I found Toshiya's diary."


Shinya gasped. "You read it?"


Die nodded. "He goes into great detail in it, and… well… I thought that I would try some of them on you… to make you enjoy it more…"


Shinya kissed Die shyly and nuzzled into his chest. "You know, you shouldn't read people's personal stuff… but… since it was for me, I guess I shouldn't be mad…"


Die nodded. "Of course not." He ran a hand down Shinya's bare chest and admired the feel of it. "Especially when you enjoy the effects of it so much."


Shinya blushed and giggled. "Die!"


***


Miyabi threw a pillow at Toshiya. "Pillow fight!" He yelled and attacked Toshiya.


Toshiya yelped and defended himself pitifully, ending up in Miyabi's pillow bashing away at his head. "Miyabi-chaaaaaan!" Toshiya whined and hit back.


Miyabi pretended to be hurt and clutched at his side. "Oh! Toshiya! How could you?!" He fell dramatically on the bed, shutting his eyes and staying still.


Toshiya grinned and danced around. "I win! I win!" One of Miyabi's feet were in the way, however, and Toshiya tripped, landing on the floor. Miyabi scrambled up and positioned himself over Toshiya, grinning. Toshiya stared up at Miyabi in a daze. "Miyabi?"


Miyabi lowered himself and kissed Toshiya briefly. "You know, Toshiya, since you got with Kyo, we haven't messed around…" Miyabi unzipped Toshiya's shirt and stuck his hand in, feeling the smooth flesh and making Toshiya shudder. "You know, my parents aren't here…"


Toshiya's breath hitched. //Miyabi… the first person I ever fell in love with… but…// He licked his lips, accidentally arousing Miyabi even more. Miyabi grinned and nudged Toshiya's head up to get access to his neck.


//The best way to get over a guy is to get on with your life and go on like nothing happened…//


Toshiya felt Miyabi's hand slide it's way down, going closer and closer to his length. //No… I can't… Kaoru… no…//


***


"...corny." yes, i know what you ALL were thinking! well, i hope you all didn't go to sleep on this! now i must go and save the world... or sleep.... ^^ ja! ~kurara

to be continued~

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