Again, Holler, Cruising, Overload so Naturally.

by Lady 7

dedicated to + VM + Michan + Puka + Anis + Basil + Kurara + Kalove + Beth + Matrim + Viola + les filles +

***

The wind blew strongly, messing up his hair. But he didn’t care. He didn’t even seem to be there. His soul wondered around, floating with the wind, sweeping the edge of the hill, went away and disappeared to the other side before coming back again. The other man, who stood few meters behind could only ignore him.

Kaoru glanced at the young man, aware. Really aware, -very- aware.

Shinya’s standing too near the edge. Merely one and a half meters… but he wouldn’t do anything stupid would he? The purple head turned his head away from the frail drummer. Bearing in mind that Shinya wouldn’t do such a stupid thing, jumping off the edge of the hill!!!

Kaoru shut his eyes, feeling the wind tickling his face, his neck and his arms…it was so strong, and Kaoru casted his eyes on Shinya again. The drummer was still there, and Kaoru smiled thinking that, he was more afraid of the wind might blow his bandmate away! Shinya just looked frail and too skinny!

"Let’s go!"

Kaoru blinked and Shinya was already walking pass him. The guitarist looked at the edge of the hill before rolled his eyes around to take a look at the big trees, the hill opposite…and didn’t dare to look down. He cleared his throat and walked towards the direction Shinya just went.

Back to the car.

*

Kaoru bit his lip, trying not to yawn. He glanced at the timer, almost seven. He was tired, sleepy and hungry. But the other man, who sat beside him, wasn’t. Well, Kaoru didn’t know exactly but Shinya didn’t seem tired, or sleepy or hungry. Those big eyes shone beautifully and Shinya looked, serious.

As usual…

Kaoru pouted and straightened his back, it hurt. He had been driving for the whole afternoon from the center of the town to the hill area far far away. Now he had to drive back to the town, then-

Oh God…why did he do this?

Because he couldn’t say no to Shinya, could he? Nobody could say no to Shinya. Just like how nobody could say no to Toshiya…but in different ways! If he was scared to make Toshiya cried, he was more afraid to make Shinya angry with him!

Oh…Toshiya again….

Kaoru sighed and took a quick glance at the drummer. He still put up that serious expression on his face, but Kaoru did have a tiny bit of ideas why the drummer acted so strangely! Maybe he should ask! He was the one driving anyway…but he had to admit that he didn’t dare to lit up a cig.

"Shinya…"

There was no reply.

"You know…" Kaoru cleared his throat and tried to focus on the freeway in front of him. There were no cars at all… "I was quite surprise you ask -me- to do this!"

He heard Shinya taking a deep breath.

"You don’t want to?" the young one suddenly asked, coldly. Kaoru gasped, "No! no! of course not! I mean, I want to do it! I-I just wonder why…I mean, you never act this way…"

He felt stupid, so there were no more questions and conversations. Kaoru finally decided to look at the view, enjoyed the view, more likely. It was beautiful…so beautiful! It had a feeling of Shinya…the sky was reddish orange, and Kaoru could see the sun was going down…the wind blew softly, unlike the one up the hill.

Kaoru smiled and took a deep breath, taking in the fresh clean air. He had let the window open, and it felt so good! Ii desu… very nice…he thought. The green big trees fit the background well, and Kaoru smiled wider, to himself, not regretting what he was doing.

I need refreshing…and I think I’m doing it right now…though being with isn’t –that- comfortable but it’s okay! At least he didn’t make any noise that ruins the atmosphere…

But Shinya was too quiet!

Nevermind…it’s good this way.

"Kaoru-kun…"

Kaoru almost choked, "H-Hai…" he turned to Shinya, who still focused on the road in front of them.

"There’s a hotel near here, kind of up the hill. We have to follow the path. But I think the food’s worth it!" Shinya spoke in a low voice, pointing at some direction not quite far away. "But you have to drive further…"

Drive further…follow the path…that’s no problem!!! Did Shinya just mention food?!!!

"Ano…okay. But I don’t know the way! You just have to tell me, okay?" Kaoru sounded polite, and desperate. Shinya nodded and looked like as if he was suppressing a smile, "Just drive on, and I'll tell you. There should be a space for cars to drive down to a parking lot. People usually walk up the path, and the hotel…" Shinya tilted his head up and gasped, "There! See the hotel?" his index finger poked the glass.

Kaoru looked up and could only see the roof not quite far away. It looked nice and big, old fashioned building.

"Oh…nice building! Do you go there a shit…..shit shit shit" Kaoru trailed off uncaring of Shinya’s wide eyes staring at him weirdly. (Nah, Michan does it sometimes. She practically sings a tune –sh*t-sh*t-sh*t sorry Michan :p-L7) Kaoru closed his eyes and banged his head on the steering wheel.

"This is not happening…" Shinya heard the older man murmuring few times before he came to realize that the car already stopped. The drummer joined his eyebrows and looked at Kaoru suspiciously. Shinya bit his lip and looked around. No cars…looked dead.

"Kaoru-kun…don’t tell me…" Shinya began.

"We’re running out of petrol" Kaoru smiled and said it in the way Shinya didn’t want him to. The drummer growled as Kaoru continued, "No petrol means no fuel means we can’t get any further than this!" Kaoru looked around, "Which is pretty dangerous!"

Shinya bit his lip and got out the car. Kaoru gasped, "Wait! Where are you going?!!!" he followed the drummer.

"Away from this stupid car!" Shinya kicked the wheel and Kaoru saw something weird in those eyes. Something different, and Kaoru thought he knew what it was. They fell silent for a while, and Kaoru tried to enjoy the wind blowing peacefully. The purple head leaned on the car, slightly posing sexily. He glanced at Shinya, and noted that the young one removed his hand from the corner of his eye.

"Shinya…I'll call the tow truck ne?" Kaoru said in such a soft tone, trying to soothe him. The drummer shook his head, "No need. If it’s only fuel, we can get it in the hotel. I'll walk there" Kaoru’s jaw dropped and he quickly rushed to Shinya.

"Matta!!! I'll go with you!"

*

Kaoru panted lightly as they reached the last step of the path. When Shinya said ‘path’ he didn’t think about one of those paths that sent them up the hill. He wiped the beads of sweats off his forehead. He glanced at the drummer, and felt the world was being unfair to him.

Shinya still looked serious and fresh!

Of course! I’m just an old man!

Shinya walked and walked and Kaoru followed until they reached the entrance. It was so lux! How did Shinya know about this place?! Kaoru wondered. The young man walked in and Kaoru trailed off behind. They talked to the receptionist and the woman smiled, "Hai. The station is right beside this building! What type of car do you have?" she took out a note.

Kaoru smiled back.

*

"Great!" Kaoru exclaimed happily; he tried the engine and it started. Shinya bowed to the man who went with them towards the car and gave him some money. The man nodded happily and walked away towards his truck. Shinya got into the car and fastened his seatbelt.

"Let’s go"

Kaoru looked at him, "Doko?"

Shinya joined his eyebrows, "Doko?! The hotel of course! I thought you wanted to eat?" the drummer raised an eyebrow. Kaoru coughed a little, ‘Oh. I thought you changed your mind" so he happily drove to the hotel, for his food. They took the turn and the guitarist winced. Great! So they had to walk up that path again!

*

"Gosh! Dinner’s really nice!" Kaoru put his chopsticks on the plate in a proper way. He bowed, "------" and Shinya nodded, doing the same. Though he didn’t really eat as much as Kaoru. the purple ate twice of Shinya’s meal and insisted on paying. But Shinya smartly refused.

"I took you here, so Kaoru-kun shouldn’t spend money" Shinya signed and paid the bill. Kaoru sighed and thanked him, "Next time I'll drag you here again and pay for dinner!"

Shinya turned away, supporting his chin with his palm. "I hope there won’t be next time of this…" he muttered, but was loud enough for the other man to hear. Kaoru fell silent, not sure of what it could possibly mean.

"Hm. Let’s go" Shinya got up.

*

Kaoru wiped his wet hands with napkins and was surprise to see Shinya, talking to the receptionist. Kaoru raised an eyebrows, and stood beside the drummer. Shinya didn’t bother to say hi or anything. He didn’t even turn his head. The woman nodded to him and continued, "We have various types of rooms! Quite a lot of couples come here for honeymoons! But obviously they prefer Hawaii! But the rooms are really nice! And we have lots of facilities!"

Kaoru looked at Shinya in confusion.

Shinya took his wallet out, "Then give us a room facing the town view" he took out some money hand Kaoru’s jaw already dropped far south.

"Hm. But rooms facing the town view only have double beds!" the woman looked at Kaoru, then back to Shinya, obvious to Kaoru what she had in mind. Shinya fumed, "Just give us a room facing the town" he spoke coldly. The woman shrugged and took out few pieces of paper. Kaoru stared as Shinya signed and paid.

"Room 304. Though it’s in third floor, the height equals to 6^th floor of usual building" Kaoru’s eyes grew big. "That’s becoz we’re up the hill…" she smiled archly to Kaoru, who gave a slow smile as a reply. Shinya absently signed the bill.

"I thought you were a woman" she looked at Shinya’s ID card and laughed, "Shinya-san. I was going to ask for your marriage license!" the woman blushed a little, and Kaoru chuckled. Shinya didn’t seem to hear and took the key then walked away. Kaoru nodded to the woman and walked rather quickly to catch up.

"Shinya!!! Why are we staying here?!"

No reply. Shinya pressed some button and the lift came down quickly. He stepped in and Kaoru did the same. The door closed and Kaoru sighed, "Shinya! What’s going on?!" he touched Shinya’s arm.

"I’m tired. I think we should rest for a while…I know you’re tired Kaoru-kun" he looked at the older man. Kaoru thought for a while, hesitated a bit before nodding to him, "Okay. But check out as soon as possible eh?" Shinya made no reply.

The door opened with a click and Shinya entered. Kaoru stopped to turn the lights on and gasped in wonder.

"Wow! Now I know why you want town view so much!" Kaoru rushed to the window, standing beside Shinya. The sky was almost dark, with red touches here and there, making it so beautiful. The older one could also see the moon, peeking out from the clouds and soon the stars would decorated the sky.

The town was like a carpet full of sparkling diamonds spreading unevenly on it! And Kaoru had never seen such a beautiful sight! He sighed in amazement and looked at Shinya, and the smile faded away.

Shinya was still quiet, and serious. But he looked so sad, and his eyes were watery. Kaoru wanted to ask, ‘why?’ but he couldn’t! he didn’t seem to have the courage, or…but why?

What’s Shinya’s purpose? He told me to drive him up the hill…then we end up in this hotel! Sure he didn’t just want to have a rest!

Kaoru pouted and walked towards the bed. He wanted to jump on it, but that wouldn’t look really mature to Shinya eh? So he decided to sit on it. The purple head smiled, pouncing a little, "Comfy ne…" he said, and suddenly had the urge to yawn. He did it widely, shamelessly and stretched his arms.

"Shin-kun…tired ne. Wanna sleep?" Kaoru swore there was no hentai ideas behind it. But Shinya glared at him.

"Eh? What did I say?" Kaoru panicked, blushing. "No! I mean sleep, not sleeping with me…but taking a rest! I mean, I’m tired of driving for hours! You must be tired too ne? You said so!" he smiled sheepishly towards the younger man. Shinya fumed, sighed and looked around.

"I’m taking shower…" Shinya mumbled and walked across the room reaching for cupboard. Kaoru, with wide eyes, stared as Shinya took out clean white towels and closed the cupboard softly. Kaoru grinned, "Shin-chan…sometimes it’s better to share. Wanna shower together?"

Shinya stopped and glared at the older one. Kaoru smiled, "Mou…can I come with you Shinchan?" he spoke in such a familiar tone, and Kaoru regretted it soon. Shinya’s eyes darkened and the drummer bit his lip, threw a towel at him and slammed the bathroom door shut.

"Shinchan!!!! So mean!" Kaoru faked a gasp and whined. The guitarist laughed a little, but then he yawned. So sleepy ne…so tired, maybe he should sleep for a while. The purple head lay on the bed, trying to relax. He closed his eyes and- … he heard something. And that ‘something’ distracted his mind…really distracting him!

The sound of running water…

Kaoru smiled, nah…imagine that Shinya’s body…swept by water, wet and glowing. And his hair, stick to his face, down to his cheek, and-

What am I doing?!!!

Kaoru felt his cheeks blushed hotly. So he got up and coughed a little. The guitarist took a deep breath, and- he smelt something.

The smell of soap…hm, no. Smelt more like shower cream. Yeah, rose fragranced…really nice. Just like Shinya, smelt just like Shin-chan!

Kaoru’s eyes snapped open. His eyes dropped closed? Again?!!! Gosh! What’s he doing?! Kaoru shook his head, sighed and walked towards the fridge. Nah, maybe there was something nice. He ran his fingers through the small bottles. Alcohol…alcohol, more alcohol…

"I don’t think so…" he whispered to himself. Kaoru stared at the fridge for a while, then closed it. But then he opened it again and smiled widely. His small fingers held a can of green tea and with his leg Kaoru softly pushed the door close. Kaoru took a sip and yawned. Did green tea make people feel sleepy?

"Shinchan…come out quickly…" he mumbled and decided to read some magazines on the desk. The thin, slim, and sexy (?) guitarist leaned on the desk, and with his right hand took a mag up. But it was a mistake coz he missed the can and it fell on his pants.

"Nani?!!!"

It felt cold though he wasn’t wearing some thin material. Kaoru frowned and tried to wipe it off, but the tea stained on his pants, and it was annoying not to get rid of it!!! So pouting, he walked towards the bathroom. As he reached for the knob.

*blink-blink*

Hold on! Wasn’t Shinya in there- taking a shower?

Kaoru grinned.

"Shinchan, I have to wash off some stain, so I come in yah?" Kaoru spoke quite loudly, but wasn’t sure if Shinya heard him at all. He could only smell the fragrance and heard the running water. But then he heard something else.

"Come in then. Just don’t try to peek or you’ll wish never been born" came a cold voice. Kaoru laughed and entered the bathroom, "I’m not that hentai Shinchan…I’m more than that" he whistled and leisurely walked towards the sink. The bathroom was quite big, with a normal size bathtub, a large mirror and a nice tiled sink.

Kaoru looked up and saw the reflection of – (oh, my…how do I explain? I hate my English!!! –L7) Shinya’s silhouette through the glass of the shower cubicle (*____* do u get me?! *jumps off a hill* –L7)

Kaoru smiled, though he couldn’t actually see Shinya’s skin but he could see the shape…the nice slim shape of it…and the way Shinya held his arms up and brushed his hair, the way-

"You’re not looking at me, are you?" came a sharp voice and Kaoru tried not to jump. "Eh, I won’t do such thing ne…" the older man blushed and turned away, trying to concentrate on his pants.

"What happened to you?"

Kaoru tried not to look up, "Ano…I was drinking tea from its can, until I dropped it and it stained everywhere!" Kaoru sounded irritated, "Hm. Are you sure you’re not doing it in purpose?" Shinya asked, after a while.

Kaoru gasped, "Nani?! Shinya, why would I do that? Just to take a look at the naked you? god, that’s vain Shin-chan…" he laughed, imagining Shinya blushed hotly in there.

"I’m just joking! People take me so seriously!" Shinya sounded like he was pouting. The guitarist laughed again, shook his head and took a napkin. He wiped the wet spot on his pants (Ehe, hentai thoughts. What wet spot Kaoru-sama? This is for you Michan –L7) and was going to wipe his wet hands when he heard something coming from Shinya.

"Kaoru-kun, get out I’m finish!"

Kaoru pouted, "But I’m not! Can’t you get dressed in there?" he asked teasingly. Shinya sighed, "Iie! It’s so wet in here!"

"Then don’t get dressed at all! Just come out and share your loveliness ne?" it was silence for a while, "Itai!!!" Kaoru exclaimed feeling something hit his head. He looked down and saw a shampoo bottle near the sink. So Shinya must’ve thrown it towards him eh?

"Fine! If you try to do anything, just anything!!!, you’ll wish-"

Kaoru rolled his eyes, "I'll wish I was never born in this world. Hai, Shinchan"

"… Kaoru-kun get me a bathrobe please…it’s hanging behind the door"

"Heh. Why did you put it there?"

"Becoz I didn’t expect some careless idiot coming in here! Just pass me the robe, please. I’m getting cold!"

Kaoru sighed, reached out for the towel and walked towards the cubicle, "Want me to warm you up?" he whispered huskily while held the bathrobe up. Shinya mumbled something sounded like –baka- and took it. Kaoru smiled and went back near the sink, leaning on it.

Shinya came out wrapping in the robe, water dripping from his wet hair and some wet strands stick to his face. The drummer looked up, and noticed Kaoru’s eyes, those sharp stare. Shinya glared back at the older man and walked near the small cupboard for a towel.

Kaoru watched as Shinya dried his hair with the towel and smiled.

Shinya noticed and looked at Kaoru, "What?"

Kaoru leaned over, "Nothing" he said, with a smile.

Shinya sighed and ignored. Kaoru waited for a while before walked towards the door, but then he turned back to Shinya, "Is something wrong?"

The drummer’s eyes darkened.

"Shinya? you’re not acting like you…"

Kaoru approached and stood right behind Shinya, and breath hot air near the younger one’s neck. Shinya face turned cold, and stopped drying his hair. Kaoru waited for a while, before slowly, moving his hands up to touch the drummer’s shoulders. Shinya’s eyes lifted up to the mirror.

Kaoru placed his chin on Shinya’s left shoulder, while his eyes looked up at the mirror. He stared at Shinya, sharply, and Shinya looked back at him the same way, through the mirror.

The older man moved his chin and parted his lips, kissing Shinya’s neck. There was no respond from the younger one, so he continued. Kaoru nibbled on Shinya’s neck, the water trickled on his nose but he didn’t care. His hands moved and Kaoru’s right hand slid down to Shinya’s chest feeling it through the robe. His left fingers tugged on the collar and pulled it down slightly, exposing Shinya’s smooth skin.

Shinya closed his eyes as Kaoru kissed his neck, nibbled on it, licked it. The drummer’s fingers gripped the towel he had tightly, and Shinya parted his lips, feeling the older man’s palm did a good job on his chest, feeling it so slowly, and he moaned as Kaoru’s right palm slid down south, touching his lower region.

"Mn…"

Kaoru smiled.

Shinya took a deep breath and moaned louder, he tilted his head, making it easy for Kaoru. The drummer opened his eyes, at the same moment when Kaoru was sucking on his neck-

"No!"

Kaoru blinked and stopped. He looked up to the mirror, and saw Shinya’ pale face. The younger one looked at him with big eyes, big eyes filled with fear.

"Shinya?"

The drummer sighed and pulled himself away from the other man. Kaoru watched as Shinya turned the tap on and splashed icy cold water on his face. Shinya stared at his own reflection on the mirror, then bit his lip. He lifted his eyes up to look at Kaoru’s reflection.

Kaoru stood frozen for a while, before shaking his head.

"Sorry Shinya…"

Shinya didn’t make a reply and merely walked out the bathroom.

*

The young man placed the hair drier on the table, and took out a hairbrush, running it over his shiny silky hair. It was done gently at first, but the more Shinya looked at his own face in the mirror, and the more he thought of what he had just did, Shinya forgot the pain he received from brushing his hair so strongly.

When he finally felt the pain, Shinya whimpered softly and put the brush on the table beside the drier. He walked to the bed, sat on it for a while, looking around the room and got up. Shinya glanced at the magazines on the desk and took the only one he found interesting (the one Kaoru was going to read earlier ^^; -L7)

Shinya sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, reading seriously. He heard the sound of running water from the bathroom, and stopped reading.

"…"

Shinya closed his eyes, opened them again and read on.

*

"Not interesting…boring…" Shinya flipped the pages quickly, pouting. He had been reading three magazines and Kaoru hadn’t even finished taking shower! The guitarist must be washing his long hair!!! It took so long…then he stopped.

What is he waiting for? Kaoru to get out the bathroom…and continued doing what he did to Shinya in the bathroom?

Shinya blushed and shook the though off his mind. He flipped a page and found some interesting article about Japanese rock. The young man crossed his legs, placed his arm on his leg and read. He skipped the faint knock from the door, and skipped the soft sound of the door begin opened. Not the bathroom door, but the main door of the room.

"Shinya!!!"

Shinya gasped aloud, jumped up and stood in shock. He quickly turned his head towards the door. Seeing who had called his name outloud, the drummer froze.

Some certain red head smiled gladly and rushed to him, "Shinya! Where have you been?!"

Die stood beside Shinya and took the younger one’s arms. He shook the slim body gently, "I’m so worried! You didn’t tell me where you’re going…and I looked everywhere for you!" the red haired guitarist exclaimed, not noticing the fact that Shinya wasn’t even looking at him.

"Shinya…" his voice turned soft when he finally noticed. With his right hand, Die held Shinya’s chin and moved it up, so he could take a good look at the drummer.

"What’s wrong?" Die asked, in a really sympathetic voice. Shinya looked at him, really looked into Die’s eyes.

"Shinya…?"

Suddenly the door opened, not he main door but the bathroom door. Die gasped, not expecting somebody else would be in the room. Then he heard a familiar voice.

"Shinya, is there anymore towel? My hair gets so wet! And I think-" Kaoru walked out and only stopped speaking after he noticed Shinya wasn’t the alone.

"Die?" Kaoru wondered.

Die’s jaw dropped down further than Kaoru’s. he looked at the older guitarist from head to toes, then back up again, and turned to Shinya. the drummer fell silent.

"You…" Die lost his words, merely looked at Shinya then back to Kaoru…and when Die’s eyes narrowed, Shinya finally realized what he might get into. He quickly touched Die’s arms, "No!!! No! it’s not that!" he was too late. Die already approached Kaoru.

"Die!!! No!" Shinya yelled but Die already landed a punch near Kaoru’s jaw. Totally not expecting that, Kaoru almost fell backwards but he managed to keep his feet on the ground and balanced himself. Kaoru blinked innocently before finally got the point too.

Die bit his lip and moved forward. Shinya gasped and grabbed Die’s arm.

"Listen to me!!!" Shinya spoke but gasped as Die pushed him rather hard and the drummer fell on the bed. Kaoru widened his eyes,

"What are you doing?! Shinya, you alright?" Kaoru was walking to approach the bed but Die greeted his teeth and pulled Kaoru’s arm, "DON"T touch him!!!"

"What the heck…?!!!! You’re getting it all wrong!!!" Kaoru winced at the pain in his arm. Shinya sighed, shook his head and stood up. He touched Die’s arm gently, "Die-kun. No. Listen to me first!" Die turned to Shinya and the drummer was looking at him tenderly. The red head blinked and calmed down a bit.

Kaoru took a deep breath, "Yeah. Listen to him! Let him explain!"

"Shut up!" Die snapped. Shinya frowned as Kaoru replied snappier than that. And soon Die began to lose it, "I don’t care whether I get it right, or wrong!!! But all I know is that, I came in, saw my lover, clad in a bathrobe!" he pointed at Shinya, "And this…" he glared at Kaoru, "This Another guy, walking so leisurely out of bathroom, wrapped only in a towel!!!" he glanced at it.

Shinya closed his eyes and rested his forehead on Die’s shoulder.

"Can you imagine, yourself, looking everywhere for your lover, and finally found him…in a hotel room?! With some other guy?!! Do you know how it feels?!!!" Die yelled gripping his shirt tightly, as if to show the older man it hurt inside. Shinya bit his lip and hugged Die’s arm and softly hush his lover down.

It would be fine, and everything would end there, coz Die finally calmed down and felt Shinya hugging his arm and resting his head on his shoulder. It would be, if Kaoru didn’t reply.

"Really? Me? Imagining how it feels?! Look who’s speaking?! I don’t know how it feels to find my lover in some hotel room with another guy, but I’m sure it’s as painful as when I found –my- lover…" Kaoru screamed in the end, "Smooching another guy in the changing room!!!"

Shinya pulled away. Die narrowed his eyes and Kaoru reached out to push Die’s shoulders, "Thanks to you I lost –my- lover!!!" Die almost stumbled back but he managed to control himself.

"What do you mean?" Die hissed. Kaoru snorted, "Yeah, like you really don’t know!" he looked at Shinya, "Ask –your- lover, he knows a lot, doesn’t he?" Kaoru pointed at Shinya, and die looked at the youngest man, who turned away.

"He’s not involved! Don’t drag Shinya along!" Die hissed.

"Oho! So you actually admit it?!"

"No! you get it wrong!!!" Die defended. Kaoru laughed as if Die had just told him the funniest joke in the world, "Well, too bad, red head!" he placed his hands on his hips, "I don’t care whether I get it right, or wrong!!! But all I know is that, I came in, and saw –my- lover, …ex lover…arms wrapped around this ‘guy’ and they were kissing so passionately!" Kaoru hissed back at first, but spat the words out in the end, when he lost his patience.

Die noted the older man was obviously quoting his own words. He sighed and turned to Shinya, who stood quite far away from both guitarist, "No…" the redhead mumbled. "You got it wrong…it’s not like that…it’s…"

"It’s what?!!!" Kaoru pushed. Die bit his lip, looked at Kaoru and instantly shooting hatred with his eyes, "Why don’t you ask yourself? It’s not his fault your lover cheated on you! –you- did it first! You don’t know how he feels, you don’t know how hurt he is!!!" Die replied coldly.

"Then do you know how hurt I am?" Shinya whispered, obviously too soft for the other two to hear. He shut his eyes, trying to ignore the yells and hisses from the guitarists. It was weird, they were the older ones…they were the ones who should get along well with each other!!! They should be wise…and knowing…

Shinya sighed and casted his eyes on Kaoru, then Die…

The yells and hisses still filled the room, it was know Die blaming Kaoru for something he did in the past and Kaoru snapped back about the whole thing, not being Die’s business…

Whatever it was…Shinya was tired of it.

"You don’t have to drag Shinya along into this!!! This is between-"

"Excuse me?! He’s the one asking me to do it! And you obviously don’t know your koibito well!!!" Kaoru’s tone was as sarcastic as ever, "Oh! Like you do, Kaoru-sama!!!" Die replied back as sarcastic as possible.

"Why do you have to make us fight this way?! Why do you always, always try to create a fight between us?!!!"

"Nani?!!! This is none of your business at all!!!"

"Yeah! Not until your poor…-ex- koibito came to me!!!"

"Yameru!!!"

Die stopped, Kaoru stopped. Both men heard a scream, followed by a loud crack, and a sudden swept of chilly cold air in the room. Both men turned to the source. And Die’s heart skipped a bit.

"Shin…"

Shinya was standing right in front of the wide opened window. His short hair blew by the wind, covering his left eyes, and he looked like as if he was going to be sucked away…by one strong blow. Die stepped forward once. Kaoru stood frozen.

"If you two keep on screaming to each other, I'll jump!" Shinya’s voice was cold and determined. Die watched as Shinya leaned back.

"Shinya! What-okay, I'll stop! I'll stop!!!" Die held his hands up and bit his lip. He looked at Kaoru, who turned pale. "So he’s serious?! He’s been acting so weird since he arrived at the hill!" the purple head whispered to Die.

The red head gulped and turned to Shinya.

"Shinya…come here…" (Eh? This happens in Gravity! Hm! Must be fetish with-ops…–L7)

The drummer shook his head.

"I don’t know what’s going on…Why are you yelling at Kaoru? Why did you hit him? Why are you keeping secrets?" Shinya asked absentmindedly, gazing down at the carpeted floor. The older guitarist looked at Die, who was starting to look really scared.

"I did it…because I was... I looked for you everywhere, EVERYWHERE in the town, places you like to be…places you don’t like to be…and when I finally found…found my car that you took without telling me, I was hoping to see you…but…" Die turned to Kaoru, "You’re with him! And the first thing that…that came to my mind was…" he stopped.

Shinya turned away, "If I said I slept with Kaoru…what would you do?"

Die’s eyes widened in pure shock. Kaoru joined his eyebrows. It took Die a long while to control himself and Kaoru noticed Die’s fists so he backed away a little.

"If that really happens, I'll beat him up and after you jump off the window I'll jump with you!" Die sounded determined.

Shinya sighed, "Why?"

"… Because I love you…and I believe you feel the same, and I want you to be only mine! My Shinya, my Shinchan, my koibito!!!" Die’s knuckles turned white.

Shinya suddenly snorted, "Yeah…if you really love me that much, you won’t be keeping things from me ne?" the young drummer played with his fingers, staring at it. Die closed his eyes.

"Shinya…"

The drummer looked up, to look at Kaoru. Die joined his eyebrows, confused. Kaoru wet his dry lips, and hugged himself. It was getting really cold for him. Bare chest… but Kaoru seemed to get what Shinya wanted him to do. So he sighed and looked at Die.

"I touched him…"

Die’s eyes bulged.

"Yeah. I was in the bathroom while he was taking shower. I stared at his silhouette, and handed him the bathrobe he’s wearing right now. After he finished, I approached and held his shoulders" he stopped there, waiting for a reaction. But he got none. Die was too shock to even think of something.

Kaoru took the risk stepping closer to Die, "I kissed his neck, breath in his scent, nibbled on his neck…licked and sucked…" Kaoru could see Die’s jaw hardened. "Rubbed his chest, even touched him there…" Kaoru whispered. "And he moaned…in such a beautiful voice…"

Die narrowed his eyes.

"But I didn’t go underneath the robe. And I didn’t get the chance to taste his delicious lips, because he stopped me. Why?"

Die took a deep breath.

"Because he was obviously thinking about you!"

Kaoru finished.

Shinya smiled sadly, "There…the whole truth! And look at yourself Die!" Die looked up.

"Kaoru told you the truth even though he knew he was probably risking his life" Shinya’s voice rose, "Unlike you!" Shinya moved and sat on the window frame. Die held his breath and Kaoru looked confused. "Shinya!" both men almost exclaimed in unison. But Shinya didn’t care.

"It’s your turn to spill it out. I will ask you a question, and you have to tell me the truth! Tell me the truth Die, and nothing but the truth! And don’t you ever, lie to me!!!" Shinya shot a glare to his lover, "Because I know the truth!!!"

Die waited.

"What’s going on between you and Toshiya?" Shinya asked, coldly.

The red head closed his eyes.

"…"

Everyone waited.

"Toshiya came to me…because he wanted help" Kaoru narrowed his eyebrows. "He is still really upset about Kaoru, sleeping with Sugizo" the purple head gasped, "What?!"

Die rolled his eyes, "Don’t pretend Kaoru! That’s the reason why he dumped you!" Shinya licked his lower lip.

"Toshiya dumped you, but realized that he wasn’t doing the right thing! He wants Kaoru to feel the pain he feels…and he came to me, talking and confessing everything in his mind. He loves you…" Kaoru blinked in surprise, "He still loves you. But he wants to make you see that you’ve hurt him so much!"

Shinya turned away, letting his face swept by the wind.

"So I helped him, making you jealous! All those ear whisperings, arms wrapping, guitar licking…" Die shook his head, "They meant nothing!"

Kaoru smiled sadly, "Hounto ni?"

Die nodded, "Hai. I know what you’re thinking, stupid Toshiya"

Shinya sighed aloud, and both men’s attention went back to him.

"So desu ka? If it’s so…then why were you keeping it from me? Why make me believe that there’s actually something between you and Toshiya?!!!" Shinya hissed. He was losing it. And Die gasped seeing a single tear rolled down slowly on Shinya’s cheek. Shinya –never- cried.

"Why are you keeping things away from me?!"

"…"

Kaoru shook his head, "becoz Toshiya told you to? Becoz he thinks it’s better not to tell anyone? Because if Shinya gets jealous that means you guys are doing really good job?!"

Die shook his head.

"Maybe it’s becoz he cries, he’s the one who cries, and I’m not the one who cry! I’m NEVER the one who cry!" Shinya hissed. But now he’s crying…and Die felt his heart snapped each second. But then Shinya laughed.

"See, Die? I’m crying now…so who do you choose to please? Shinya…or Toshiya…?" Shinya smiled sadly, and more tears fell down from his eyes. Kaoru sighed and bit his lip. He was getting a bit impatient about Die. Couldn’t he do something about this?!!!

"I always choose Shinya…I never leave him behind…"

Shinya pouted, "But?"

"But Shinya never seems to need me! Shinya never seems to want me!"

Kaoru pulled on Die’s sleeve, "And Toshiya does?!" he hissed. Die slapped his hand away, "Toshiya needs me to help him! He wants me to help him! And it’s the fact that you cheated on him first!!!"

Kaoru frowned. He turned around and had his back to Shinya, thinking.

"Kaoru. Toshiya is in the lobby" The purple head’s eyes snapped open. "And he’s really upset, and is probably crying" Die whispered weakly. His eyes were aware at the fact that Shinya was still sitting on the window frame. And anything could happen…anything!

Kaoru licked his lip, turned around and walked into the bathroom. He came out only wearing his pants and was holding his shirt. The door was slightly slammed close. And in the room, Die and Shinya stared at each other in silence.

Die stepped forward, and when he saw there was no respond from Shinya, he moved few steps more and was a meter away from the younger man. Shinya turned away, biting his lip. Die smiled and hung his head down.

"I’m sorry…I know I shouldn’t be doing mistakes then expect you to forgive me…but this time…I’m really sorry"

Shinya looked at him, liking the soft voice.

"Shinya…"

The younger man took a deep breath, then stared at the carpeted floor. He wasn’t sobbing anymore, but looked like as if he was going to cry again. Shinya began rocking his body back and forth, causing Die’s body to tense up, waiting. And when Shinya finally stopped, the red head couldn’t feel anything but relief.

Shinya looked up.

Die widened his eyes. He mustn’t blink! Shinya looked like as if he was gonna jump and he mustn’t cast his eyes else where, not even a second!!! He thought, but couldn’t help blinking coz the wind blew right to his eyes.

And the next thing Die knew was feeling something around his neck, and realized it was Shinya’s arms thrown to wrap around his neck. It took Die a long while to realize Shinya was not sitting on the frame anymore. He was now hugging Die and was sobbing uncontrollably. And relief quickly washed over the redhead. Die looked down, and saw the shaking back, so with trembled hands, he touched Shinya’s back.

"Shhh…" he rubbed the back gently. And his other arm wrapped around Shinya’s small waist, "Shinya…" he murmured and kissed Shinya’s head, whispered soothing words into his lover’s ear. The drummer closed his eyes and sobbed.

"I love you…" Die murmured.

*

Kaoru brushed few strands of wet hair away from his face and walked quickly towards the lobby. He looked around, there was no one. He pouted, thinking that maybe Die was just telling him lies! As he was about to turn back, a figure appeared on the couch. The person must’ve been lying on the couch for a long time.

Kaoru smiled. He approached the person and smiled gladly.

"Toshiya…"

The man looked up, bit his lip and turned away. Kaoru sat beside the pretty bassist, "What are you doing here?!" the guitarist tugged on his sleeves, but Toshiya pushed him away.

"I’m here with Die…and I’m sure you’ve seen him!"

"Aren’t you surprised to see me here? In this hotel?"

Toshiya looked at him with killing stare, "No! not at all! I’ve expected Die walking into the room and found you lying on top of Shinya! you cheated on your previous lover and you wouldn’t be having any problem seducing your own good friend’s lover!" the younger one shrugged. Kaoru gasped.

"Toshiya…first of all, I don’t sleep with Shinya…"

"Oh! Really? Maybe Die was a bit early? And you only got to the part of molesting him?!" Toshiya turned away. The older man shook hi head, "Tell me how you knew I could be in here?!" Toshiya thought a little, and answered. "You’ve been missing for the whole day" Kaoru thought he saw a light tinge of pink on those cheeks.

"And I asked the woman from that reception and…she said Shinya’s not alone! He’s with some quiet looking purple head, and he looked damn horny!" Toshiya replied carelessly, rolling his eyes upwards. He played with his fringe that fell down near his eyes. Kaoru raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure that’s what she said?"

Toshiya straightened his slender legs, and Kaoru stared at them.

"No…I added the last part up"

Kaoru smiled, "I’ve heard everything from Die, how you team up with him, trying to make me jealous, but it seems to me I’m not the one getting jealous here!" Toshiya snapped his head towards the older man, who calmly leaned back on the couch. "OH, and I also have lots of things to tell you!" the bassist tried not to look suspicious.

"A really long story…"

"Then don’t start at all! I hate long stories!!!" Toshiya was about to get up but Kaoru quickly pulled him down, "I’m sure you’re interested! It’s a story about Kyo, Yoshiki, Sugizo and Kaoru!"

Toshiya’s eyes widened.

Kaoru inched closer to his ex, "One night, Kyo was out drinking alone, and he met Yoshiki! Few hours later, he was exhausted by some activities he had done with our ex producer!" the older man started lightly. Toshiya waited.

"Then Sugizo suddenly appeared, and both older ones disappeared to the bathroom, and when they came out Kyo felt himself being dragged into a place!" Toshiya turned and sat facing Kaoru, getting really interested. "Kyo remembered being laid on a bed, and the next thing he knew was dialing some numbers from his phone while the other two went out the room"

Toshiya joined his eyebrows, as Kaoru continued, "Hai. He called you right? Sadly, not telling you the situation he’s in…" the purple head looked at him, "But you refused to go, coz you’re waiting for me…then Kyo called me, I was on the way to your house!"

Toshiya bit his lip as Kaoru started talking again, "So I panic, and quickly drove to Yoshiki’s house! But no one was there, so I called Die, asking him if he had Sugizo’s address becoz I didn’t bring my note along with me! It makes sense right?"

Toshiya pouted.

"I arrived there just in time! I heard Kyo yelling coz somebody molest him…or something! Then I managed to help, but surprisingly, Kyo broke a vase by hitting it on Sugizo’s head" Toshiya gasped, "Hai. And I had to stay there, to keep him awake, taking care of him while Kyo passed out and Yoshiki disappeared"

Toshiya looked at him in disbelief, not wanting to believe a single word of it. However, he knew it had to be the truth! Kyo did call him that night, and he refused to go. He waited and waited for Kaoru but he never arrived! Then the next day he mourned about it to Die, and the red head told him Kaoru had called him asking for some certain pink head’s number.

And Toshiya jumped instantly to the conclusion.

Kaoru slept with Sugizo, and he forgot about Toshiya who waited and waited all night for him. And he dumped Kaoru, just for that, and didn’t even bother listening to Kaoru’s excuse.

"Toshiya, I have to say that you’re being a bit too much, dragging Die along! And risking their relationship?!" Kaoru’s voice broke his thoughts off. He blinked and looked at Kaoru, "Die- he also thought that maybe-" Toshiya stopped, staring at Kaoru.

"Nevermind…" he muttered and got up, "I’m leaving here!" Toshiya turned around and Kaoru held his hand, "Totchi…"

Toshiya pouted and went on, "But if you want a ride home…I think there’s some space in my car…" he pulled his hand and walked towards the exit. Kaoru smiled and ran after the bassist. Toshiya heard somebody calling out his name but he ignored. The younger one rushed carefully to the carpark. But then he felt a hand grabbing his.

Toshiya gasped, and felt himself being turned around. When he blinked and his vision cleared, he saw the face.

Kaoru

Toshiya’s heart fluttered, beating faster and faster, realising the way Kaoru stared at him, the way Kaoru’s lips look so tempting under the moonlight…the way Kaoru’s eyes seemed to suck his soul…and when Kaoru inched closer…and closer…Toshiya felt those pouty lips touching his pretty ones…

That touch sent sparks and Toshiya felt the fire lit up…

Kaoru held Toshiya’s arms, pulled him closer as he deepened their kiss, and Toshiya tilted his head to an angle, and parted his lips… and held Kaoru’s face. They kissed a breath taking kiss, a kiss that reflected longing and passion…one single kiss that made Toshiya moaned, that made Kaoru pushed Toshiya close to his chest.

And when they broke apart, catching for air, Toshiya’s eyes were tearful, shining in the dark. Kaoru stared deeply into them, and the pretty one turned away shyly, hiding a smile.

*

The windows were all closed, not letting any air slipped into the room. The curtains weren’t drawn close, letting a sight of the bright full moon. The lights were off, except the small one on the bedside table. And there were two people in the quiet room. The first one was somebody sitting on the bed, facing the lamp, sitting frozen not moving at all. The other one was sitting on the carpeted floor, right in front of the first person, his hands holding the others’ tightly.

Die looked up, staring at his lover’s serene expression, not moving at all. His hands held Shinya’s tightly, as if not letting go. The younger one didn’t look at him, his eyes were locked into one corner of the room. Die patiently waited for something, but he got none.

"Shinya…"

Shinya looked at him.

"I was so panic when my car gone missing! Then I looked for you, wanting to tell you what happened. But you’re nowhere to be seen! So I assumed that you took my car…" the red head smiled sadly. Shinya remained quiet. "But when I called your phone, so many times…" he squeezed Shinya’s hands, "There was no response at all!"

Shinya blinked.

"So I panicked, how if you took my car somewhere, and got in some accident?! Or maybe somebody took the car, and…and hurt you…or something!" Die’s eyes showed sadness, Shinya could feel it, he could see it, he could tell. Yet he remained silent. "So I called everyone, and Toshiya…he offered to help"

Die bit his lip, "So we searched places you like to go, places you hate to go…" he stopped and looked down to the floor, "Then…then I started to think and think and think…and I came up with the conclusion that, you might be, upset with what I have done…"

Shinya closed his eyes.

"Shinya…I went up the hill, with Toshiya insisting that he wanted to come with me! I passed the hotel, but…all I thought about was the hill! So when I went up and couldn’t find you there…" Die sighed, "Then I thought maybe, somehow, by some reason…yo might be in this hotel…"

Die smiled, "You don’t know how relief I was to see my car parked down there…" the older man sniffed, "Then I asked the receptionist, and rushed up. The door wasn’t properly shut, so I just went in…and…" he looked up seeing Shinya’s eyes casted somewhere else.

"And you’re here! Sitting down on the bed. You don’t know how happy I was!" he gave Shinya’s fingers a squeeze, "But then I saw him!" Die’s voice turned cold, and his eyes darkened, "I- that’s the first thing that came up to my mind! I mean, he was dumped, and Toshiya had been fooling around, so maybe he wanted to get a revenge or something…" Die stared at Shinya fearfully, hoping Shinya wouldn’t explode or something.

But Shinya didn’t. Die moved and kneeled on the floor, so his face was equal with Shinya’s. the drummer blinked and stared into his eyes.

"Shinya…I didn’t do it, just to make Kaoru jealous. You’re so cold, and so…I don’t know" Die closed his eyes and opened them again. He gathered all his courage and spoke, "I wanted to make you jealous. Wanted to see your reaction and- wanted to know your true feeling towards me!"

Shinya blinked and his eyes softened. Die saw warmth in them.

"I’m sorry"

Die felt hot in his eyes, and his nose stung. His heart panged.

Shinya moved his hand, slipped it out form Die’s hold and held it up. Die blinked as Shinya’s finger slowly touched his cheek, and the younger one’s finger traced down playing with the single drop of tear that fell down. The drummer tilted his head, and leaned closer. Die sighed as Shinya rested his forehead on his chest.

Shinya closed his eyes, and all those images came back to him.

The image of Kaoru stopping the car, the engine wasn’t even off when he leaned to the side and held Shinya’s face. Then the image of Shinya parting his lips for Kaoru’s tongue to enter. And the image of Kaoru moving forward, that Shinya had to leaned back on the chair, and how in that little space Kaoru had made Shinya responded to the kiss. Then how Shinya broke it off, pushing Kaoru aside then ran out the car…

Shinya blinked.

Kaoru was so aware…scared that Shinya might jump off the hill. Funny how Kaoru felt guilty about that. Ironic how Shinya remembered how he led Kaoru on…

Die moved his arms, and held Shinya’s head up.

Jealous…making each other jealous…

Die looked at Shinya in deep, and inched closer, to meet those lips. Shinya felt the other one’s lips touching his, light as feather…so he closed his eyes, feeling another feather touch, again, and again…then Shinya held on Die’s shirt, lightly, and pulled him down the bed.

Die looked at Shinya lovingly, and gave the younger one a kiss. A long deep kiss and when they broke apart, Die lay beside Shinya, staring at the younger man. Shinya blinked again touched Die’s face.

A lover…

Shinya cupped Die’s face with a palm and leaned closer. They kissed, and kissed, and it turned passionate as Shinya pasted his body close to Die’s and then slowly, Die’s hand slid down from his shoulder down to his chest, and down to his waist…then it lightly tugged on the sash before pulling it slowly.

The windows were still closed tightly, and there was no air coming in our out. Just a tense atmosphere…with hot passionate love. Outside, the moon shone brightly, smiling more likely, to the sight of tow figures on the bed, kissed and touched…down the road, there was a car speeding towards the city. The car, smelt like hot lovers too.

I'll holler, I'll cruise, I'll overload, again and again and again…so naturally.

*

owari*

*

Ahhh…finished! This fic is so…weird! Excuse me ne, I lent my nihon go no sensei cassette, where I taped Die en Grey stuff and some other Jrock music. Sadly, he doesn’t like Dir en Grey. And he doesn’t listen to my kind of music. But I’m really proud coz through me he found out about Luna Sea’s music and he likes them.

Back to the cassette, I left some space the end of side B, and it stopped after the song STORM, by Luna Sea. I thought I would tape some songs to fill the space later. Just now, 12/12/00 around dinnertime I played the cassette, and to my surprise, some song appeared after STORM.

I was really surprise, shock, more likely. It was the song I love, Luna Sea’s +Love Song+ it was not in the Lunacy album but it’s a new singles. My sensei downloaded it and taped it for me, on my own cassette. And it was such a sad song! I love it sooo much! I was so surprise, and shock…and I started to cry. Then there was more space after the song ended, and he taped X Japan’s +Tears+ for me…I instantly just burst out crying…

It was one of the many sweet things people did for/to me ever since I was into Jrock. And I couldn’t express my feelings here, right now. There were just too much to say…and I’m sounding like as if I’m going to die soon or something.

People, I will miss you all so much!

Remember me the way I remember you

Ja!

Lady7

----<<@