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Me: Shanti aka Santousha, quiet, shy, soft spoken, smart, nerd, playful, helpful, curious, crazy, student, dreamer, open-minded, thinker, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The mists of Avalon, dresses, spiritual, damaged, hopeful, sweet, Virgo, hare, Saturday, waiting...
WebDesign envy:
Hybrid Genesis
Aethereality
Daydreamgraphics
Rav-ished
Resources:
Insomniac Brushes
George Grie
Aethereality
Gallery
Annika von Holt
Reading:
Erica Bunker
Monica Mingo
Team Sugar
Songlist:
-Nelly Furtado-Try
-Jordin Sparks-I love you
-Meatloaf- anything for love
-Christina Aguilera-Hurt
-Ciara-Like a boy
-Ciara-Promise
-Nelly Furtado-Say it right
-Maroon5-Harder to breath
-AFI-Miss Murder
-Celine Dion-All coming
back
-Celine Dion-Think twice
-Anthony Hamilton-Sick and tired
-Fergie-Big girls dont cry
-John Legend-Used to love you
-John Legend-Ordinary People
-Gwen Stefany-Cool
-Alicia Keys-Falling
-Alicia Keys-Wild Horses
-Kelly
Clarkson-Because of u
-Usher-Superstar
Info:
View in: IE (all versions)
HTML editor: Micr. Frontpage + Notepad
Image editor: Jasc Paint shop pro + Adobe Photoshop
20-05-07
I uploaded a few photos from my trips to Raleigh falls and Marinalex. Both were first time trips. I love those kinda outdoors trips. They really let you relax and leave all the city stress behind you. It's been a while since the trips, but i've been too busy to do any uploading.
What have I been up to? I've been trying to keep up with school. School seems to depress me more and more these days. The whole vibe in class is so depressing. The students are so focused on the bad and all the negative of the classes we take and the school that they have just drained all the good energy out of it. I hate going to school now. What I hate even more is attending my project meetings. The whole vibe there is so hostile and depressing. I hate going. Even thinking about going depresses me lately. Why? The students in my group. They are absolutely killing my positive attitude. One of the students is the personification of bossiness. I hate his attitude. The other one is such a follower. He comes late and barely says a word unless it's something negative about or towards me. The third member of the group is a girl. In the beginning we were ok. I was nice to her and welcomed her into the group, I was happy not being the only girl anymore. But lately she seems to have this attitude. She doesn't speak to me or anything and she doesn't have to, the way she looks at me just says it all.
I increasingly find myself wanting to spend all my time at work. The vibe at work is stressed but at least the people laugh and have fun. They try to get through the ish of the day. Make the most of it, instead of just wallowing in their own negativity.
I don't even want to talk about my at home situation. My head starts hurting whenever I try to think about it. I ask myself if I am wrong to be mad about the situation in my home. But I can't be wrong, can I? I'm so sick and tired of taking all this crap from these people, faking a smile and keeping my mouth shut. I want to scream and yell, tell them I hate them for being the way they are. But what good would that do? They don't change. They never change. And I can't hate them, all the shit they do and no matter how badly they treat me, at least I know I'll always be welcome here. Whether I want to be here or not.
Shanti
29-03-07
I hate American Idol now, well more then I did before. I can't believe they let my teddy bear go. I loved him from the start even though I have to admit he had disappointed me. But I'll still miss him, his jokes, his curls and off course his fun relationship with Simon. He was the only contestant to truly get to Simon I think. He almost made Simon cry ;). LOL
Right now I am truly unsure who will win; the final always shocks me. Last year they removed practically all the talented people and left the entertainers. It makes me wonder what's important to succeed in life : good looks?, Talent?, or just likeability as Simon states it? sigh
Either way I have no favorites in the competition anymore, I also lost the will to watch. Watching TV is so boring lately. At least I still have Grey's Anatomy, Heroes and Brothers and Sisters. Thank America for that,
Shanti
P.s my wisdom teeth are torturing me :(
29-03-07
I can't stop thinkin about the conversation we had. Little things bother, and I wish I wasn't as nervous. I had almost a complete black out. I took the time to walk and clear my head, replaying what was said.
I think I did good, but I wish I had done better. I truly hope they take a chance on me.
Today was the last day of the project, we finished a few hours earlier. Which was very good for our employer but bad for us cus we get paid by the hour lol! But the work was fun. And I am now off course out of a job! All I can do right now is sit back and wait for offers. I hope I get offers, I'm going a little crazy sitting here with nothing to do.
Shanti
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