#64 Dear Mr. Dick, I have read your mail and I will come back to you later in the everning with my photo scanned and send to you. Based on the confirmation you said you have forwarded to Mr. Brown, I wish to let you know that in as much as you informed him that the money will be in their account, I have to extend my trip to London until I confirmed from him that he have received the money , and then confirm from you that you have claimed the consignments. There is no problem with my photo, I will send it to you as i comes back to Office today. As I am writting, I am in Cote d' Ivoire but I must go back to Ethiopia today. I hope you will understand my points clearly. Regards, Jonathan. Son, I have been good to you and you disobey me. When a son disobeys his Daddy he must be punished. You are now telling me that you are delaying coming over to London. Are you playing with me? Do you not know you have the operation on Friday? Why cannot you come over now? Your excuses do not make sense. One time you said that you had to set up business with your wife before you came over - how can you do this with out the money first? Are you an idiot? Do you think I am an idiot? I want you to come over as soon as possible, by Wednesday at the lastest. How do you know I will not run off with the money - what are you up to? I am still waiting for this photo you have said you will send me for months. You are a very bad son. I am still waiting for Mr.Brown to get in contact with me. Is this whole business a joke? I am not laughing. Son - send me a photo and get on that fucking plane. Your pleasure is my purpose, DADDY PLEASURE [Surprise, Surprise! Looks like Jonathan's not going to make the 10th afterall.] #65 Dear Thomas, Where the hell have you been? I have been waiting for you all day. Have you gone to the bank yet to get the money for demurrage? I cannot wait anylonger for the silver boxes. Are you purposefully doing this because you are angry at me about the film? Is that it? This is very disrespectful - I shall also be sending a copy of this email to Mr.Mokoena as well. This deal must be concluded by Thursday latest as Mr.Mokoena's operation is scheduled for the Friday. He is coming over this week and says he will shit all over you if the deal in not concluded by then. Take your thumb out of your arse you cretin and get moving. Your pleasure is my purpose, DICK PLEASURE Dear Mr. Dick Pleasure, We are about go to the bank to confirm the payment you claimed to have made. Remember that we are busy all days because we take care of customers consignment not only yours. We shall be inviting you as soon as we confirm the payment and you are advised to be regular with your email because we SHALL INVITE YOU AS SOON AS THE PAYMENT IS CONFIRMED. Be rest assured that before thursday, you will come to claim your consignment. I will get back to you asap. Thomas Brown. #66 Dear Brother, Your mails was received and I am aplogising for the delay in sending my photo as agreed on. You can be aware that Moslems all over the world were on a two days holiday, and as a matter of fact, the people of Ethiopia were mostly moslems, therefore I cannot go to office until tomorrow. However, I am attaching my photo here. I went to a friends personal office, who happens to be a Christian for the scanning and sending of this. As for Mr. Brown, I have not heard from him yet, though I hope to communicate him by tomorrow. He is supposed to have the money in his possession by now, or is the same moslem holiday affecting people in UK? Concerning my coming over to London, I must inform you that nothing will stop me from being there. I must ask for a prospond to the operation since I have some jobs to handle in the office from tomorrow till Wednesday next week. But I am assuring you that I must be there next week unfailingly. Meanwhile, I have already applied and tended for a Two months leave which I am to confirm the acceptance by Tuesday next week. So, as soon as I pick up the leave, I'll book my flight at once to London. There is no shaking on this area. Mr. Dick, there is no going back to all our businesses. All must surely get to its conclusion. You don't count on the delays, it was due to the holiday. I hope you will understand my points. Regards, Jonathan. Note: Don't mind my sending you the attachment from this yahoo email account, let all you response be on go.com account. [At last, Jonathan sends his "photo". Doesn't look much like his passport picture to me!!! But we shouldn't let that bother us in paying all that money into Mr.Brown's account should we? Click here to see Jonathan's photo.] Dear Mr. Dick, I write to confirm if you received my photo or not. And at the moment, can you confirm to me your final discussion with Mr. Brown. Have you fixed a date for the handing over of the consignments since you have settled the clearing bills? I need to hear from you immediately. Like I told, I will be having a two months leave by Wednesday next week, so once I confirm this, I will furnish you with my flight details. Regards, Jonathan. Dear Dick Pleasure, I was dissapointed today when our bank told us that you did not make any payment insteady you forged a teller and payment slip and forwarded to us. Well, we can find out that you are not seroius and must be a joker. You did not make any payment and you want to claim a cosignment. Never you try again to mail us all the rubish you are sending. We shall inform the owner of the consignment about your attitude concerning this transaction. There was not telex confirmation from you. The payment supposed to be there because you claimed in your mail that you paid in cash. This time, you must prove to us that you are for geniun or you planned to disapear with Mr. Mokana's money. Did you make the payment? Bring the telx confirmation. Thomas Brown. [Whoops! How the fuck do you forge a telex conformation? Nice work HSBC!! I tell you that they account is a 419 account and you do fuck all. Idiots!!!!!!!!] Dear Son, I have some very worrying news. Mr.Brown finally contacted me today and accused me of not paying the money into the acount. This is rubbish. I have paid the money in and have sent him all the documents that he has requested. I am very, very worried. What has happened to the money? I think that perhaps he is trying to trick us. He has taken the money and is telling you that I have paid no money. I am sure that Mr.Brown is a crook. This would explain why the account in Taiwan was blocked. Also, why did he give me an account in Taiwan first, and not the HSBC account he has now given me? I am very suspicious, are you? I do not know what to say to Mr.Brown now. He has my money but I can do nothing about it. This matter is far to urgent and serious to discuss by email. You must phone me so that we can discuss the situation in person to person. Please phone me on this number tomorrow - Friday : +44 20 7230 1220 The number is for the Hotel where I am staying. Ask for me in person. I have signed into the Hotel under my own name. I have to go away to Manchester this weekend for some urgent business so please call before 4pm UK time as I shall be leaving the Hotel at 4.30pm. I have recieved your photo - thankyou very much. I have shown it to The Gimp and he has been howling like a madman all day and night. Please Jonathan, you must come quickly to the UK so that you can help me with Mr. Brown and to pleasure The Gimp.. You must call me at the Hotel where we can talk in peace. We cannot continue by email any longer - this whole business has gone on for too long now. Your pleasure is my purpose, DADDY PLEASURE [After the dissapointment of HSBC, I'm hedging my bets here - Maybe I can get them fighting amongst themselves or give them a bit of a shock when they phone the phone number. The number I have asked him to call me on in the West African Fraud section of the Metropolitan Police. Hee Hee!] #67 [I also let the Fuzz know that they might get a call.] Dear Sir / Madam, For my owm amusement I have been in contact with a "Jonathan Mokoena", a 419 scammer who claims to be in Ethiopia but IP address leads to Lagos, Nigeria. I have not and will not be paying him any money but have been pulling his leg. I am now bored an have given your phone number +44 (0) 20 7230 1220 as my own and told him to call me. There is also another character called "Thomas Brown" who claims to be working for a security company holding the consigments. Here are the most recent emails to put you in the picture: [I sent some (sanitized) emails to put them in the picture, including the bank details for HSBC.] #68 Dear Dick Pleasure, We are still waiting to receive the copy of Telex Confirmation from you to enable us trace the money. We are waiting. Thomas Brown. [Mr Brown goes on...] Dear Mr. Dick, I write to inform me taht I received your mail and all you said is noted. I want you to send to me the proves of payment you made as an attaachment. I am ready to make trouble with them as soon as i arrives London if this is true. Regards, Jonathan. Dear Mr. Dick, I write to inform me taht Ihave tried to reach you on the hotel number given to me but I could not get through . It was only answering machine I can reach. Regards, Jonathan. #69 Dear Mr. Dick, I write to inform you that I was in contact over the weekend with Mr. Brown and I was made to understand that all efforte to trace the money you paid proves abortive, therefore you are advised to produce the "Payment Confirmation", "Payment Receipt" and the " Tracer" as to enable them prove to their bank that you pais money into that account. As at moment, there is no evidence that you made any payment. In fact, I do not know what you are trying to show in this transaction. I might say you have no interest over the USD235M. You can confirm from the bank where you claimed to make the payment from and get back to me at once, and then notify Mr. Brown with your information. I am still wondering what you are doing. Or are you palying? I am surprise. This time is no longer the blocked account, rather you cannot prove to Mr. Brown that you made any payment. But Why? Regards, Jonathan. Hello Jonathan, It's Fanny here. Look, I've got some terrible news - when Dick was in Manchester this weekend he had a heart-attack. He is alive but he is in hospital. The doctors think he will pull through but he needs rest. I think they are going to keep him in for at least a week - maybe longer. It's all the stress with the money that has been taken by Mr.Brown. What do you know about this? Why is Mr.Brown taking the money but not giving Dick the boxes? How could he do this to an old man? Maybe the bank has CCTV footage of Mr.Brown Dick mentioned that you were due to come to the UK in the next couple of days. We need your help Jonathan. I have spoken to The Gimp and he will try to help you with anything you need from the bank. Dick said something about you needing a telex conformation. You must phone The Gimp as he does not know how to use e-mail. He was very happy when he heard he would be talking to you. He is staying in the basement at the same hotel Dick was staying at in London. You can call The Gimp on this number: : +44 20 7230 1220. He is waiting to hear from you. I cannot help you for the time being as I have to look after Dick - bring him clothes and suck him off. A word of warning - sometimes The Gimp gets very excited. To calm him down you must sing to him. Dick has been singing "I should be so Bucky" to him recently, so he would probally love to hear it from you. When you get to the UK, if you have not heard from me, make your way to Manchester. Come to our apartment. The address is: Flat 215 Harold Shipman Nursing Home, Rushholme Rd, Longsite, Manchester. I will be in work occasionally on +44909 617 3821 so you could try me there if you need to speak to me urgently. We love you Jonathan, Please don't let us down and let Mr.Brown run away with our money, Love Fanny XXX [The number for the Hotel, is again the West African Fraud Squad for the Metropolitan Police and the number for Fanny's work is the £1 a minute sex chat line.] #70 Dear Fanny, It has been long I hear from you. A lot of stories has been heard about through Dick. I do not knoe if you people are fro real at all. All times you and Dick claimed to make payment to Mr. Brown but no money can be confirmed at the bank by Mr. Brown. What is all this for? Are sure you are saying the truth? I am surprise. In fact, there is every proof from Mr. Brown that you guys are jokers. I have nothing to say again, rather I have to look for a reliable person to assist me make the clearance of the consignments there in London. I have no trust in your person's. Stories I have been receiving from you end is getting too much. I prefer let us stop everything since you are not for real. Bye. Jonathan. Dear Mr.Mokoena, I went to the bank today in order to get the telex conformation for Mr.Brown. They told me that they stopped the money going into Mr Kharma's account because they know you are 419 badman. They say the police are involved and they know all about you and Mr.Brown. They know where he lives and the police will visit him soon. Why are you such a bad man? Mr.Dick treated you like his son, gets you involved in the film business and you try to fuck him like a mugu. You bad man - you nearly kill him too. You will goto hell. I was going to hell too, before Mr.Dick saved me from myself. You could have been big name in adult entertainment business like me. I am giving up my country to be in the film business with Mr.Dick. You know who I am too. I have taken my mask off for you - look at my picture. I will find you in Lagos, Nigeria. I know you not in Ethiopa. We will drink tea and talk about torture. I will show you my testicular implants. You, me and Bukky will have lots of fun. Till then. Love, The Gimp. [All is revealed, I sent a photo of The Gimp. Click here to see The Gimp unmasked.] [OK, This is nearly the end of the story. Follow responses will be posted in the next 10 days or so.] #71 Dear The Gimp, I read your mail but I do not know all you are talking about. It is like you are out of your sences. To heel with you. Bey. Jonathan. #72 Hello Son, After a spell in hospital I am back for business. Are we feeling sexy today? Your pleasure is my purpose, Dick Pleasure Cut!!! That's a wrap everybody... Still no reply after 2 weeks. I guess are lads have been discovered by some other adult movie mogul. Such is life and there are plently of mugus left in the sea. Dick is taking a break for a bit (Doctor's orders). Check back in the near future for some more crazy adventures with Dick and the gang. |