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6/5/2003
To : dick_pleasure@hotmail.com
Subject : Very Urgent From Mrs S. A William
Date : Tue, 06 May 2003 16:53:16 +0200
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My Dear Dick Pleasure
Please what is your position now. Are back from your travel, please do let me hear from you as the Security Company (Mr Sam H Beki) is requesting you to come forward for the claims of the fund.
Meanwhile as a matter of importance, please note that Credit Union Security Company has change their email address. And their new email address is: xxxx@xxxxxxx.com please contact them immediately as they urgently waiting to hearing from you together with Barrister Jeff White.
You are wellcome back as I urgently await your reply.
Mrs S. A William
Dear Sylvia and Barry,
I am in an internet Cafe on the other side. All has not gone to plan and I urgently need your help.
The job I have to do for Dr William requires photographs of you both in order to be completed.
I cannot proceed with the deal until I have completed the job for Dr William.
He has told me this during a seance and it is not wise to upset the spirits or we shall incur their wrath. So please, send me photographs of you both urgently.
Playing your game baby,
DICK PLEASURE
7/5/2003
To : dick_pleasure@hotmail.com
Subject : Please Reply Urgently
Date : Wed, 07 May 2003 01:30:54 +0200
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Dear Dick Pleasure
Please I have received your mail but I can not understand what you mean. And are talking about Mr William my late husband? And what job is that? Please do let me know and as I am urgently waiting.
Thanks and God Bless
Mrs S A William
To : dick_pleasure@hotmail.com
Subject : Re: urgent assistance required
Date : Tue, 06 May 2003 18:34:23 -0700 (PDT)
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Attn:Dick Pleasure
Could you please explain better of the project you are
working on Late Mr S A William as his wife can not
understand.
We expect your mail
Regards
Barrister Jeff White
Sawilliam
[The lads seem annoyingly reluctant to send me any photographs.........and a little bit confused :-)]
Dear darling Sylvia and Barry,
Forgive me as it seems that I have not explained the situation.
I have been gifted with psychic powers since birth and use these powers to contact the dead via seances, sometimes with a Ouija board. I am a medium. As soon as I heard that my old friend
Dr S A William had been killed by rebels, I tried to contact him in the Spirit world in order to get the name of his killers in order for them to be brought to justice. It is the least I owe him considering I will be getting a large share of his personal fortune. It took me a couple of weeks but I have finally got in contact with the Doctor (I noticed that you did not use his proper title. Why is that?). He has asked me to obtain pictures of yourselves for the next seance. I asked him why but he would not say, he just smashed another mirror and slammed a door. He is trying to tell me something. He is angry. He comes to me in dreams and haunts me. This will not stop until I can finish his business. To finish his business I need the photos.
It is most urgent that you both send photos of yourselves to me immediatley.
I can then conclude this business for Dr Williams and move onto collecting the fund.
You must help me. Incidently, Sylvia I have only met you once, briefly between 5-10 years ago
and I would love to see what you look like now my sweet. My memory is very poor.
Barry, I don't care if you look like a fucking monkey, just send me your picture.
Your sweetness is my weakness,
DICK PLEASURE
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
8/5/2003
To : dick_pleasure@hotmail.com
Subject : Urgent Reply To Your Mail
Date : Thu, 08 May 2003 05:50:35 +0200
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Dear Dick Pleasure
I have received your mail but I sincerely wish to inform you that this is sincerely against my Church believe. And I have left the killers of my husband to God to fight the battle for me. So say I will not like going into such a thing. All I will not like to be involve in such a thing. And base on this I sincerely wish to say that I appreciate your effor in trying to fight for me and my children and I pay that God almighty will reward you greatly.
Further to this, please let us get this fund transfer as this is very important for me now so that I will be able to take care of my children. And I beg you not to be annoyed.
Moreso I have contacted the Security Company and they said they are waiting for you to come forward and sign all the documents to enable them tranfer the fund to your account.
Please reply to this as I am urgently waiting to hearing from you.
Thanks and God Bless
Mrs S A William
My Dear Sylvia,
I contacted the spirit of Dr William last night and this is what he told me.
He said that you and Barry are one single entity, one person. From this I assume he means that
you have succomed to the charms of Barry and are lovers. I am not surprised as his
father is Barry White, he must be very smooth. Have you swallowed his cum?
To prove it, Dr William then told me to compare IP addresses from mail sent by you and Barry
and to compare the dates and times that they were sent.
This is what I found:
On the 28th April I received an email from you from IP address 217.117.8.2 at 07:51 hrs,
I received an email from Barry from the same IP address at 08:01hrs.
On the 29th April I received and email from Barry from IP address 81.91.226.168 at 15.07 hrs,
I recieved an email from you from the same IP address at 15:14 hrs.
On the 2nd May and 6th May I received an email from you from IP address 208.164.180.21
and received an email from Barry on both dates within 2 hours of your one.
What is going on? I am receiving emails from you both and you are both using the same computer at the same time, on a number of occasions. You are fucking him. Don't deny it.
Dr William was furious and suspects you have been cheating on him before he died.
He wanted to know if Barry had gone up your shitter yet?
Well, I'm telling you your black arse belongs to me do you hear?
You are just using me and are going to run away with Barry after the deal is completed.
You are a slut and I cannot trust you. You are a cheap whore who has cheated on me and
Dr William behind our backs. Oh you haven't changed!
You are like an African Love Dog, going with anyone who will take you.
Tell me everything and why won't you send me you're picture?
Your sweetness is my weakness,
DICK PLEASURE
10/5/2003
[Two days have passed and the usually chatty Sylvia William / Barrister Jeff White have been very quiet. Time to fan the flames of desire!!!!]
Barry,
Are you fucking Sylvia? Tell me the truth.
When I realised you were the love child of Barry White, I knew there would be problems.
I don't blame you though. She is a very sexy lady.
Playing your game baby,
DICK PLEASURE
Dearest Sylvia,
I still love you even though you are a slut.
Your sweetness is my weakness,
DICK PLEASURE
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[and two hours later Dick followed up the email with...]
Dear Barry,
I just spent the best part of the last two hours masterbating furiously over the thought of you and Mrs William. Sweet baby jesus, I must have come about about 8 or 10 times. A butt plug can really give you second wind, you know. Anyway, this has given me a thought - how would you and Mrs William feel about starring in one of my films?
After the success of "African Love Dog", where Jonathan "Bucky Balls" Mokoena proceeded to shove his penis up his own arse - quite a struggle with his scrotal implants, I think the world is ready for "African Love Dog II - Teaching a Dog New Tricks". I know your father would have been proud of you.
Leave it to me about Mrs William. She is crazy about me. I know I'll be able to talk her round. Do this and I'll keep on letting you fucking her for practice, otherwise I'll have to start charging you. Incidently, you two will be paid very well for being in the film.
Playing your game baby,
DICK PLEASURE
[Dick Pleasure is back in town baby, YEAH!]
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