3/6/2003
To : dick_pleasure@hotmail.com
Subject : Official Fund Transfer
Date : Tue, 03 Jun 2003 18:29:10 -0500
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Attn: Dick Pleasure
We wait for your flight schedule.
Thanks
Mr Sam H Beki
Hi Barry,
I have an urgent update for the letter you are going to prepare for me for the Home Office.
I phoned them today to book an appointment for Monday (soonest they could do I'm afraid) and I thought I had better check up on the requirements for the letter. It now appears that new European Legislation has recently come into effect which requires the Barrister of the client (ie you) to state in the letter to be presented to the Home Office, that I quote, "...in his legal opinion that said monkey (or monkeys) are so beautiful and so fine, that he (or she) would happily have sex with said monkey (or monkeys) himself (or herself)". So, it looks like the Officials have raised the quality of the Monkey required. I have total faith in you Barry, I know you won't let me down.
Your pleasure is my purpose,
DICK PLEASURE
4/6/2003
To : dick_pleasure@hotmail.com
Subject : Expect My Mail Tomorrow
Date : Wed, 04 Jun 2003 17:57:26 -0700 (PDT)
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Dear Dick Pleasure
Do wait for the letter first thing tomorrow morning.
Thanks
Barrister Jeff White
To : dick_pleasure@hotmail.com
Subject : Re: From Mrs S A William
Date : Wed, 04 Jun 2003 04:00:12 +0200
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My Lively Dick
I am waiting to see you. Pleas when you are coming, in addition to what you have bought for me already, kindly buy me alsi a very good wrist watch for me and my first daughter Vivian which I will use in remembering you all through my life.
Finish up with Barrister Jeff White and tell me when you are coming as I am hungry to see you and also to transfer this money to your account immediately.
Thanks and God Bless You And Your Wife Greatly. Please Send My Best Regards To Your Beautiful Wife.
Mrs S A William
5/6/2003
To : dick_pleasure@hotmail.com
Subject : Find as attached
Date : Thu, 05 Jun 2003 07:14:27 -0700 (PDT)
Attachment : dick1.jpg (184k)
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Dear Dick Pleasure
Find as attached copy of the my letter. Read and reply
me as I am waiting.
Thanks
Barrister Jeff White
[Click here to see the letter he preparred for the Home Office]
Hi Barry,
Thanks for the letter - that's great.
Now I have something important to tell you. I have NOT got the money to pay the Security company in Benin, but I can use the money (about $50,000) that the sponsor of "Simian Sex Slaves" will give me to make the film.
This sponsor is called Mr. Cago Entuboca and he lives in London.
HE WILL ONLY GIVE ME THE MONEY IF HE SEES PHOTOS OF THE MONKEYS AND ALSO THE WOMEN THAT WE WILL USE!!!!!
I also need to know the names of the women, their ages and where they are from.
He is not going to give me the money just like that and he doesn't know that I am going to use the money first to pay the Security Company and use the money I get from them to make the film.
I think we can get away with not dressing the monkeys up. Explain to the monkey owner the situation. Tell the monkey owner that I will give him $10,000 for the use of the monkeys but the deal is off if he does not let you take a photo of them to send me.
I also need to show the Home Office the photo of the Monkeys.
I hope you understand all this Barry as it is very important.
If you send me the photos I shall be bringing over $50,000 to Benin IN CASH!!!
Can you sort this out? I have total faith in you.
Your pleasure is my purpose,
DICK PLEASURE
6/6/2003
To : dick_pleasure@hotmail.com
Subject : I shall try my best
Date : Fri, 06 Jun 2003 04:00:22 -0700 (PDT)
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Dear Dick Pleasure
I have received your mail and I shall try my best then
I will get back to you tomorrow by this time.
Thanks
Barrister Jeff White
8/6/2003
Hi Barry,
Where is the photo of the monkeys and the women? I need it by tomorrow otherwise my license to sell the film in the UK will not be approved and Mr. Entuboca will want to know why!!!
Please, he is not an easy man to work with. If he gets angry and decides to pull out of the film then our deal cannot proceed.
THIS IS HIGHLY URGENT!!!!!
your pleasure is my purpose,
DICK PLEASURE
To : dick_pleasure@hotmail.com
Subject : Re: URGENT!!!!
Date : Sun, 08 Jun 2003 10:54:43 -0700 (PDT)
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Dear Dick Pleasure
I have received your mail and I am still discussing
with the owner of the monkey to enable me take the
pictures but the he still insisting that I have sign an
agreement with him first which I intend to do by
tomorrow morning.
Secondly the names of the girls are ready with me and I
am waiting to send it with the pictures of the monkey.
Wait for me mail tomorrow.
Thanks
Barrister Jeff White
Dear Barry,
Good work. I just hope I receive the photo of the monkeys in time for the meeting at the Home Office at 2pm.
I should hear by the middle of the week whether my licence has been granted and then I shall set up a meeting with the sponsor, Mr Entuboca, for next Friday.
If he is happy with all the arrangements and happy with the photo of the women then he will hand over $50,000 for me to make the film. I can then book my plane tickets to Benin.
Don't forget that it is the money from Mr Entuboca that I will be using to secure the funds from Mr Beki so it is most important that Mr Entuboca is happy with all the arrangements for the film.
He has asked for your email address, as you are our legal contact in Benin. If he emails you mention nothing of our deal with Sam Beki as he knows nothing about this.
Don't forget I need a picture of the women by next Friday for the meeting with Mr Entuboca.
I look forward to meeting up with you very soon.
your pleasure is my purpose,
DICK PLEASURE
9/6/2003
To : dick_pleasure@hotmail.com
Subject : Re: URGENT!!!!
Date : Mon, 09 Jun 2003 09:22:51 -0700 (PDT)
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Dear Dick Pleasure
Thanks for your mail and in response, I quickly love to
inform you that I am doing every thing possible to
ensure that the owner of the Monkey allows me take
their picture but he is still very much insisting that
he can not allow me take the pictures until I sign
agreement with and also pay him 5% of his money before
he will allow mme as the Monkeys as also engaged with
various asignment of this nature so he said he would
want anybody to disappoint him from renting out the
monkeys to other who need. So precisely he said that he
need a commitment free from us to assure him that we
are ready to use the monkeys actually.
Secondly the girls has brought their picture to my
office this aftern and this I will send to you by
tomorrow. And I have had your advise concerning our
deal and I shall not reveiw any information to your
sponsor. So if his ready to contact me do give him my
email address.
If I am not able to get the pictures of the monkeys
from the man by tomorrow then I shall send the names of
the girls and pictures to you then then when you come
we can togather go the owner of the Monkey and sign the
agreement with him.
Confirm receipt of this mail by replying.
Thanks
Barrister Jeff White
Dear Barry,
I am most disappointed with the recent developments concerning the monkeys.
I went ahead with the meeting with the Home Office and the application for the licence was rejected on the grounds that I could not supply the Official with the photo.
I have informed Mr Entuboca of your failure to negotiate successfully with the owner of the monkeys. He said he refuses to hand over any money for monkeys that he has never seen and also made the point that if we haven't even seen a photo then how do we know that they are not ugly or for that matter, even exist?
He instructed you to tell the owner of the monkeys that he will be paid very well for the use of the monkeys but if he refuses to let you take a photo to send to us then the deal is off and that you should look for other monkeys for the film.
Benin is full of cheeky monkeys and there should be no trouble in finding replacements.
He has also asked about the photo of the women and he wants to see it urgently. He has even suggested that if no progress is made soon then he will find another Barrister himself to conclude negotiations in Benin for the film.
Barry, that would effectively end any chance I have of concluding our deal with Sam Beki,
PLEASE DON'T FUCK UP HERE!!!!!
Remember, if all arrangements are made to Mr Entuboca's satisfaction then I will be bringing over $50,000 IN CASH to Benin.
your pleasure is my purpose,
DICK PLEASURE
Hiya Hot Stuff,
I'm writing just to see how you are my sweet. Just to let you know, last week I bought you and your daughter a Rolex watch each, designed by Bilbo Baggins, costing £2200.
In fact, there has been a few problems with the negotations as Barry has been making little progress. Please urge him to quickly and successfully conclude negotiations otherwise there is a chance I will never be coming to Benin.
Sweet lady, I want to give you your watches and make beautiful love to you but this all depends on Barry and his negotiating skills. Please give him every encouragement.
your pleasure is my purpose,
DICK PLEASURE
Dear Dick
I have tried all I could but the owner of the monkey
has insisted that we must sign an agreement with him
and pay 5% of his charge before he will allows us to
take the pictures. So suggest that when you come we can
go to him and sign the agreement and pay him the 5%.
Secondly this is the name of the girls:
Miss Bridget Okoh
Miss A Afafi
Miss Bumuda C Amani
Miss Silopi Kimi
I am trying to send their pictures to you but that will
be later in day as I have to go the Court now because
of one of my clients whom I am handling his case. So do
expect the pictures of the girls later today and before
then let me know what you want us to do concerning the
owner of the monkey.
I also wait to hearing from you.
Thanks
Barrister Jeff White
10/6/2003
To : dick_pleasure@hotmail.com
Subject : Re: From Mrs S A William
Date : Tue, 10 Jun 2003 20:09:45 +0200
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My Dear Darling Dick Pleasure
I wish to inform you that I have contacted Barrister Jeff White concerning this issue and he has promised to get back to you today unfailingly. Has he contacted you?
I wait to hear from you.
Mrs S A William
Dear Barry,
Mr Entuboca has become tired with the insolence of the owner of the macaques.
He wants you to find new monkeys. He doesn't like macaques anyway as their penises are too small. He wants you to get 3 bonobos.
Mr Entuboca will not give me the money until he has seen a photo of the monkeys we are going to use and he will not pay any money upfront.
He said that if you cannot find 3 good bonobos and get their picture then he will find another Barrister himself. The new Barrister will not allow me to use the money for the deal with Mr Beki.
Do you understand?
your pleasure is my purpose,
DICK PLEASURE
11/6/2003
To : dick_pleasure@hotmail.com
Subject : Message Received
Date : Wed, 11 Jun 2003 02:22:01 -0700 (PDT)
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Dear Dick Pleasure
I have received your mail and with regards to this, you
allow me four working days to search and get new
monkey. Then I shall get back to you.
Reply this mail as I need to hear from you.
Thanks
Barrister Jeff White
Dear Barry,
Please send the pictures of the ladies for the film as soon as possible. I am extremely worried that Mr Entuboca will find a new Barrister very soon.
your pleasure is my purpose,
DICK PLEASURE
12/6/2003
To : dick_pleasure@hotmail.com
Subject : Re: Message Received
Date : Thu, 12 Jun 2003 05:57:02 -0700 (PDT)
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Dear Dick Pleasure
I shall be sending you the pictures of the girls today
in the evening when I come from the court and note also
that I am having an appointment with another monkey
owner tomorrow and as soon as conclude with him I shall
get back to you immediately.
Thanks
Barrister Jeff White
This way to Lovewalrus 6