ceremony

Wedding Ceremony (Scenic Beach, August 11, 2007)

Peggy welcomes guests and rehearses them to reply "We pronounce you married!" at the cue "And now everybody..."

Processional

Django and Eli play "Ashokan Farewell." Guests walk down the aisle as follows, with Brie directing:

Rob stands
Scotty stands
Bill & Barbara sit
Marc stands
Liana stands with Marc and then sits with Candy & Michael when they get there
Kelly stands
Amanda stands
Greta stands
Candy & Michael sit
Emily stands

Introduction

Peggy: Welcome to all of you, the family and friends of Emily Gohn and Marc Barnhill, who have gathered here to honor and to witness their union in marriage. We come to celebrate something that already exists -- the love of two people for each other and the home and family that they already share. We also come to celebrate something that has not yet come into being -- a declaration of marriage that is witnessed and supported by all of you.

In the words of Chief Justice Margaret Marshall when she defended the right of marriage for all people, "Marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public observance of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. Because it fulfills the yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, marriage is an esteemed institution and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition."

Throughout their lives, Marc and Emily have worked separately to develop their individual philosophies about identity, responsibility, and the components of a successful relationship. Before meeting each other they came to many conclusions about who they were and who they wanted to be. When they first met, each recognized in the other a partner who was unique, and yet shared the same ideals and the same yearnings. Today they choose to further define themselves through marriage.

Kelly reads from The Irrational Season by Madeleine L'Engle:

Kelly: "But ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take. It is indeed a fearful gamble. Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that, together we become a new creature.

"To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take. If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession, but participation. It takes a lifetime to learn another person. When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling, and which implies such risk that it is often rejected."

Bill reads from Union by Robert Fulghum:

Bill: "You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks -- all those sentences that began with 'When we're married' and continued with 'I will and you will and we will' -- those late night talks that included 'someday' and 'somehow' and 'maybe' -- and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, 'You know all those things we've promised and hoped and dreamed -- well, I meant it all, every word.' Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another -- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another....Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this -- is my husband, this -- is my wife."

Peggy: We, the family and friends of Marc and Emily, have been asked to be here because we provide the roots of love and friendship and guidance that nourish them as individuals and as a couple. There are others, who cannot be with us today, who join and support us in spirit. Let the joy here today connect all of us in this celebration.

Vows

Rob reads "love is more thicker than forget" by e e cummings:

Rob: "love is more thicker than forget
more thinner than recall
more seldom than a wave is wet
more frequent than to fail

"it is most mad and moonly
and less it shall unbe
than all the sea which only
is deeper than the sea

"love is less always than to win
less never than alive
less bigger than the least begin
less littler than forgive

"it is more sane and sunly
and more it cannot die
than all the sky which only
is higher than the sky"

Amanda reads "Love" by an anonymous author:

Amanda: "I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can't help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.
I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song."

Peggy: A wedding ceremony does not create a human relationship but merely affirms it; it is not the seed, but a flowering of a nurtured and well-cared-for friendship, continuously growing. Though private in nature, marriage is a public declaration of love and fidelity, of care and devotion, founded in the private garden of intimacy, empathy and mutual respect. No minister or public official can create a marriage for you; only you can truly marry yourselves. In marrying each other, you can be many, but not all, things to each other. Your lives entwine and strengthen each other -- creating a bond that allows you to keep stretching, reaching upward. Remaining individuals, you will continue to be close companions. You now are promising to fulfill the important work of caring and mindful attention that this bond deserves.

Emily and Marc take hands.

Peggy to Marc: Marc, please look at Emily and repeat after me.

Marc (repeating): I love you for who you are,
For who you might become,
And for who I am when I am with you.
I promise to accept and encourage you,
To challenge and respect you,
To laugh with you and share in your struggles,
To nurture you and receive what you offer,
To live with you consciously and deliberately,
To cherish you each day
And support you in your changes.
I'm proud to be your partner and honored to become your husband.

Peggy to Emily: Emily, please look at Marc and repeat after me.

Emily (repeating): I love you for who you are,
For who you might become,
And for who I am when I am with you.
I promise to accept and encourage you,
To challenge and respect you,
To laugh with you and share in your struggles,
To nurture you and receive what you offer,
To live with you consciously and deliberately,
To cherish you each day
And support you in your changes.
I'm proud to be your partner and honored to become your wife.

Peggy to Marc and Emily: Marc and Emily, the rings which you are about to exchange will be a daily reminder of the enduring vows that you have made to each other today. To show their acceptance of the new members of their families, Marc's parents will give his ring to Emily and Emily's parents will give her ring to Marc.

The parents present the rings.

Peggy: Marc, do you take Emily to be your wife?

Marc: I do.

Peggy: Emily, do you take Marc to be your husband?

Emily: I do.

Exchange of rings.

Peggy: Emily and Marc have just spoken their vows to each other, and exchanged rings as a token of those promises. They would like to share this moment of love and commitment with you, and ask you to recall a time when you stood on the edge of change and, with your whole heart, pledged yourself to a path, a person, a passion that you embraced with faith and love.

Moment of silent reflection.

Blessing

Peggy: Marc and Emily, as you join in marriage, may life always be a shared adventure, marked by a sense of personal freedom, as well as mutual responsibility. May you find in each other companionship as well as love; understanding as well as compassion; challenge as well as agreement. May the home you establish be an island where the pressures of the world can be sorted out and brought into focus; where tensions can be released and understood; where personal needs do not tower over concern for others and where the warmth of humor and love puts crisis into perspective.

Peggy: And now everybody...

Everybody: We pronounce you married!

Kiss!

Music plays.

Emily and Marc head back up the aisle together.

Wedding party and Peggy lead guests to cocktail hour.

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