Nurse Jane Fuzziwuzzi Saves the Day
Fandom Magnificent 7
Rating: G
Pairings: F/VT, F/CL
Disclaimer: I don't own them, although my friend wishes she did. This was written as a birthday treat for her. What may appear to be typos are inside jokes.
The Clara Burton School of Nursing is correct. My friend has broad interests. Sir Richard Burton, the explorer is but one of them. She is surprise, surprise, a nurse.

Nurse Jane Fuzziwuzzi clutched her diploma from the Clara Burton School of nursing to her heaving bosom. Heck, she knew the school wasn't that well known, but she also knew that it had prepared her for any medical emergency as best it could. Why, she knew three ways to take a temperature, all of which involved some form of discomfort to her patients.

Jane shook off her feelings of uncertainty, girded her loins, well not really they were already girded, in a serviceable if not overly fashionable traveling costume. Jane had a feeling of foreboding as the stagecoach came to an abrupt halt. There was a thud on the roof as some heavy object landed on it. Were they being attacked by savages? Had one of the horses died? Admittedly Jane knew little of vetrinary medicine, but in her zeal, she was willing to give it a go. Voices drew Jane out of her musings. The stagecoach door was yanked open and a rather unkempt, but dashing figure jumped agilely inside.

"Pardon me, Ma'am." The vision in buckskin spoke. "My horse died," (Maybe that accounted for the smell) "and Obahiah was kind enough to offer me a ride."

Jane nodded her approval. He was handsome and she supposed her standards of cleanliness were a little unrealistic for her circumstances.

The man spoke again: "My name is Vin. Vin Tanner."

Jane introduced herself. Then Vin said: "Well, it shouldn't be long until we reach Four Corners." He promptly fell asleep. Why he chose to sit on the same side of the seat as Jane was unclear, because the only occupant of the other seat was one of Jane's valises. As the stagecoach hit a bump, Vin was propelled into Jane. Without waking up he settled against the rather startled, but strangely content young woman.

Vin remained asleep until the stagecoach pulled into Four Corners. As soon as the coach had stopped, Vin had the door open and he leaped effortlessly to the ground. He offered Jane his not entirely clean hand and rather awkwardly she took it. "Can I escort you somewhere?" he offered gallantly.

Jane replied: "I'm supposed to meet the town doctor. I don't suppose you know him?"

Vin enthusiastically responded: "Well, shoot Ma'am, Nathan's one of my best friends. I'll take you right to him."

Jane responded: "Oh. that would be fine."

Jane was a little surprised to find that Nathan was a Negro, but he seemed nice, didn't smell like a dead horse, and was very polite and obviously capable. So Nurse Jane Fuzziwuzzi settled in as Nathan's nurse. Eventually she met all of Nathan's and Vin's friends and unofficial partners.

One day Jane was busy in Nathan's small but, thanks to Jane, clean and inviting office when J.D. stumbled into the room. "Please, Ma'am," he gasped "You have got to come to the saloon. Something most awful is wrong."

Jane grabbed her medical bag and followed J.D. out the door. The sight that greeted her eyes was appalling. Men in the throes of various ills were sprawled everywhere. Something was terribly wrong. Then Buck bolted from the table and holding a hand over his mouth rushed out the door. Since everyone seemed in the same condition, Jane suspected that they had consumed something that made them ill. She immediately set to work helping the sick men. Eventually she got them all settled upstairs. Vin and Chris shared a room, Buck and Josiah shared another, and J.D. and Ezra shared yet another. Nathan was spared their fate because he was away visiting Rain.

The first thing Nurse Jane did for all her patients was to undress them. She took their temperatures in varying ways and they all had fevers. So she gave them all sponge bathes. Chris and Vin's were particularly long and thorough. Then she dosed them all with Dr. Keif's Magic Elixer. The results were instantaneous. As soon as someone was dosed, they became violently ill. Jane was busy for a long while emptying bowls, pans and whatever else she could find.

Finally things calmed down. Everyone was able to eat some broth. It wasn't surprising that Chris and Vin had to be kept a lot longer than everyone else. Jane spent her days bathing and feeding and taking g care of the two unfortunate men. Their recovery took about a week and Nathan recommended that they continue to have her bath them, because after all cleanliness was so important. The two men agreed wholeheartedly. So they lived happily ever after.

Happy birthday from me and the squeaky clean boys

Lucysmom

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