Well here it is Oh how I hate this song

Tis droll and stupid and extremely overlong,

But you asked for this and I granted your wish

So my present should not be gone

Without further ado, I present to you:

Oh Benton, Mounty on display, Is it true you never lie?

And that you taste mud and gross stuff that on the street you go by

Yet here and now stiff aad proper, a mannequin you be

Standing stiff and grim, all proper and prim

Standing silent sentry at the consulate entry the noisy cars go by

With serge so red and Stetson on your head, the people stare

They wave, they glare, but you do not care

Your duty you uphold, "Maintain the Right"

Runs through your brain as your dignity you maintain

Through pokes and prods and shouts and nods

You stand in silent contemplation, thinking only of your nation

And then, Oh Dear, who does appear But your friend standing near

Poor you, standing in position catatonic, He rakes you with gazes not platonic

The sweat runs free, you buckle at the knee, your nerves are keyed

The blond leans on the car, the seconds lag, the minutes drag

And still you stand so rigid, your gaze unwavering, distant and frigid

Then finally, Glory Hallelujah, the clock strikes one You are finally done

You can go and meet your friend, your vigil at an end

And in the dark streets shineth, the bond between you both

Partners, friends until the end. Thank God it's here at last

Your duty dispensed, your body, untensed, back to the street

A duet so sweet, your partner by your side, each half complete

You have nothing to fear until the next call to sentry duty

The streets are safe, the worlds in place the silent stares have stopped

And so should I