At The Movies

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At the Movies

[A movie theater, just as the lights are being dimmed]

Shturmie: "I should've got more popcorn."

Scully: "How come?"

Shturmie: "Well, because we'll probably eat it all half way through the movie and then I'll have to go get some more."

Scully: "No way, there's plenty here. Besides, I won't be eating much."

Shturmie: "Sure you will! Mmmm, popcorn, see...mmmm...smells good...!"

Scully: "Oh honey, sometimes I think you want me to look like a blimp!"

Shturmie: "I don't care what you look like, you'll always be my beautiful baby Scully."

Scully: "Awww, and I love you too!"

Shturmie: "Are you gonna finish that coke?"

Scully: "Shhh, it's about to start!"

Shturmie: "No it isn't, it'll just be a bunch of old commercials for chinese restaurants or something. If you're not going to finish it, I'll drink it."

Scully: "Oh shhh, drink your own."

Shturmie: "I did already..."

[A voice calls out from the darkness behind them]

That Guy: "Scully! Scully! Sculllyyy!"

Scully: "Oh no, it can't be!"

That Guy: "Scully! Where the hell are you?"

Some Dude: "Hey buddy, shut up will ya?"

That Guy: "Sorry. Scully! Scuulllyyyy!"

Some Lady: "Mister, will you sit down for crying out loud!"

That Guy: "Hey, government business lady!"

Shturmie: "What the hell is he doing here?"

Scully: "I guess he's looking for me..."

Shturmie: "So how did he know where to find you?"

Scully: "It's this stupid case, the Bureau needs to know where I am at all times."

Shturmie: "Uh huh."

That Guy: "Scully! Where are you?"

Usher: "Excuse me sir, you'll have to sit down or I'll have to ask you to leave."

That Guy: "But I'm looking for my partner! Scully!"

Some Dude: "Hey man, shut up or get out huh?"

That Guy: "Oh knock it off! Scully?"

Some Dude: "Hey pal, don't talk to me like that!"

That Guy: "You want to go downtown?"

Some Dude: "What the f**k?"

Usher: "Sir, I won't tell you again...!"

Shturmie: "Oh jeez...over here That Guy!"

Scully: "What are you doing?

Shturmie: "He's gonna start a fight soon."

Scully: "So? Let him get thrown out..."

That Guy: "There you are! I been looking all over for you. Why didn't you tell me where you were, I almost got thrown out!"

Usher: "Excuse me sir, maam, is this person bothering you?"

Scully: "Yes!"

Shturmie: "Uhh, no, it's OK, he's with us..."

Scully: "Shturmie!"

Usher: "OK, sir, can you please sit down and be quiet, please?"

That Guy: "Yeah, yeah, OK."

Some Old Guy: "Hey, down in front!"

That Guy: "Yeah, yeah, you old...!"

Scully: "Oww! Jeez, that was my foot!"

That Guy: "Hey, sorry, is it my fault you got clodhoppers?"

Scully: "I do not! You're just a-"

Shturmie: "Aw man, sit down huh? People are gonna start throwing stuff at us!"

Scully: "That Guy, what the hell are you doing here, what's wrong?"

That Guy: "What do you mean what's wrong? Can't I even take in a movie without you bitching about it?"

Scully: "You mean to tell me this is not about the case?"

That Guy: "Case? What do you mean? I wanna see this movie! Sheesh!"

Scully: "Get out! Go on - get out! Can't you let Shturmie and I have a moments peace?"

Shturmie: "Now honey, it's OK-"

Scully: "No, it's not OK! Everytime we go anywhere he spoils everything!"

Some Old Guy: "Hey lady, pipe down, I'm tryin' to watch the movie!"

Scully: "Butt-out, this doesn't concern you! Anyway, it hasn't even started yet."

Some Old Guy: "Hey, you wanna give me $6.50?"

Shturmie: "Oh jeez, hey sorry mister..."

[A light flicks on from out of the darkness]

Usher: "Listen, folks-"

Shturmie: "It's OK man, we're OK now."

Usher: "Look, you know that if I get any more complaints..."

Shturmie: "Yeah, OK, no problem, we'll be OK now, really."

That Guy: "Hey Shturm, what candy have you got?"

Shturmie: "Umm, let's see, I got-"

Scully: "Honey! I can't believe you! Don't give him anything!"

Shturmie: "Oh now baby, it's OK, this'll be great, don't worry."

That Guy: "Yeah! I've always wanted to see this movie."

Scully: "Well, fine!"

Shturmie: "Now, honey, don't pout!"

Scully: "I'm not. You are."

That Guy: "So, what is this movie anyhow?"

Scully: "What? You liar!"

Some Hippy Guy: "Hey man, like mellow out huh? Some of us, like, wanna see the movie, OK brother?"

That Guy: "Like, OK dude, far out, peace, let's have a love-in!"

[Scully, Shturmie and TG burst out in a fit of giggles]

Some Old Lady: "That's it, I'm going to call the manager!"

That Guy: "Hey knock it off lady, no-one cares what you say!"

Some Old Lady: "Is that a fact? Well buster-"

[The light returns]

Usher: "I'm sorry folks, but you're going to have to leave."

Some Old Lady: "And about time too!"

Scully: "What? But we haven't done anything! Kick This Guy out!"

Shturmie: "Uhh, hey dude, there's no need to-"

[Suddenly, a much brighter flashlight stabs at the usher through the darkness]

That Guy: "Special Agent That Guy, FBI, we're on a case-"

Usher: "Hi, Ordinary Usher Dennis, and I'm telling you to leave. I'll call security if I have to."

Some Hippy Dude: "Oh wow, hey man, can you, like, get that light outta my eyes man, it's like, real bright..."

Scully: "Oh man, I can't believe this!"

Usher: "Sir, can you turn off your flashlight? I'll tell Doris to refund your tickets at the door."

Shturmie: "Listen, Dennis, if we promise to be quiet now, can we stay and watch the movie? My girlfriend and I have been waiting ages to see this one."

Some Dude: "No way, don't do it Dennis, sling 'em out man!"

Some Old Guy: "Yeah, stick to your guns boy, they're trouble!"

That Guy: "Hey shut up old man, who asked you huh? I'll give you guns..."

Some Old Guy: "Loser!"

Usher: "OK, that's it folks, either you walk out now or I'll get security to drag you out."

Scully: "OK, OK, we're going!"

That Guy: "You shouldn't tangle with the Feds man..."

Scully: "Shut up That Guy! You're such a jerk!"

Shturmie: "Come on honey, let's go, I need a drink-"

That Guy: "Hey, I know this one really great bar..."

[As they leave, an image appears on the movie screen behind them: two prehistoric Texans can be seen running through snow towards a cave...]

1999

duane_barry@altavista.net

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