----IT'S OVER-------WHEN...????
The Relationship with your Significant Other Is Over When................
- She puts your dinner on the floor in the Rover Dish.
- The milkman is wearing your bathrobe.
- You get a ticket for the Jerry Springer Show.
- Your electric razor is "ticking".
- She starts every sentece with the words..."To whom it may concern".
- Your mail comes addressed to "Current Resident".
- The local mortician starts measuring you for a new suit.
- Her mother looks at you and starts laughing.
- You are urged to stir your coffee "very well", before drinking it.
- Your favorite easy chair is plugged into the wall outlet.
- All of your shirts have a target painted on them.
- She insists on packing your parachute on your first jump out of an airplane.
- She wants to play catch with you using hand grenades without the pins.
- You catch her practicing tying knots with the break line of your car.
- She urges you to go hunting with a group of her PMS ing friends.
- People are referring to her as the "widow".
- You come home and all that is left of the house is the foundation.
- She is 6 months pregnant and you haven't slept with her in a year.
- She redecorates the house using your life insurance policy as collateral on the loan.
- Your name is Fred and a new tattoo just below her navel reads...."Al's Place".

"SEND THIS ON TO ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS AND GIVE THEM A LAUGH!!"
© D.B. Fetters 1999
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