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A Koujou: Beautiful Death
*[Translations: Keibo-Stepmother || Ifuku-Child of another woman || Taiyoukai-Great monster/demon [In this writing it will be used when speaking of InuYasha's father] ]*
"Mama?" Another stormy night had brought little Inu Yasha to his parent's bedroom. He peeked in. His mother was back in her town, helping her people. His father was on the outskirts of his territory, defending it against a pitiful band of inferior demons who mistakenly thought that strength in numbers would apply to a battle against this taiyoukai.
"I know you are there. Do not stand there all night. Come here, ifuku InuYasha." Migotoshikyo called when she saw him come into view.
"Keibo..." Inu Yasha crawled over to his stepmother. She opened her arms and allowed him to crawl into her lap. She ran her fingers through his hair.
"It's alright, little hanyou. It is only a storm. Nothing to be afraid of." She'd told him this every time he came. He knew. She imagined he simply liked the extra attention and needed a reason for her to give it to him. He never came into the room when both women were home, no matter how loud the thunder clashed or how brightly the lightning flashed. She imagined he came out to his own mother as well when she was not at home. The image of him coming on the especially rare occasions when only the taiyoukai, Sesshoumaru and himself was home made her laugh inside. The little hanyou seemed, not afraid, as he had proven on many an occasion when standing up for his older brother, but in awe. As though at his tender age he could know the power the Lord youkai of the western lands had, and knew he wasnt one to be bothered with such things as cuddling or comfort.
She sighed as the pup curled up in her arms and nuzzled her. A flicker of a smile crossed her face as she remembered when Sesshoumaru was young enough to permit himself to cuddle with her. Now that his training had begun he had sought to distance himself from his dependance on her. Which was fine. It was what was expected and had to be done if he were to become a strong youkai like her or his father. It was youkai way. Only humans kept a dependancy on their parents through life. One more reason why they were weak.
Although she knew what must be done, she secretly missed the times when he would come to her in the night, afraid of whatever, and she would hold him close to her and hum or sing songs so old she could scarcely remember where she got them. She knew Sesshoumaru still looked up to her, although he was being trained to become the split image of his father, because at times she noticed him trying to learn to keep his face in the same stoic expression she had. Of which the stubborn taiyoukai completely lacked, despite her many vain efforts to teach him to mask all his emotions. He was lucky he was strong, for he wore his weaknesses out for all to see like some pathetic adornment, she thought. She then smiled fleetingly, thinking of Sesshoumaru's efforts. He was a prodigy child, who learned quickly and took up all efforts with the utmost seriousness and much self discipline. It was difficult for him yet, especially when his blundering imp almost threw him into fits of laughter with his clumbsiness and the sight of his half-brother drew a sneer across his lips. But he did not give up, unlike the taiyoukai, who had shrugged it off with a brilliant show of pigheaded overconfidance. Laughing at her when his half-efforts and egotism forced her own mask to be lost in the face of fury and frustration at him. Her son would truly surpass his father, she was sure of it. And when she did occasionally break the mask, it was most often to beam with pride.
She looked down at the little hanyou in her arms who, thumb was now securely embedded in his mouth, was making little grunting noises. She tousled his bangs, conflicted in feelings. She hated her mate's choice in a human lover. She didnt mind him taking another lover. She herself had many different lovers with whom she took pleasure. She wasnt promiscuous, to the contrary, she would rather have one mate and one lover. She was simply too much for many of them and quite an unfortunate many didnt survive her pleasures, leaving her frustrated. Sometimes causing her to take three or four in a single night, simply to reach orgasm. She didnt love her mate, and doubted that he loved her. She hadnt in fact known what love truly was, had certainly never actually felt it, until Sesshoumaru was born. They were simply a good match. The two strongest youkai to be found, and they had produced a magnificent son whos future was sure to bring pride back to their names forever. She thought, looking in the direction of her beloved son's room. Inu Yasha turned and got more comfortable in her arms, bringing her back to the present. Her eyes darkened as she thought that Sesshoumaru was the only thing she had to be proud of anymore since her mate had soiled their bed and shamed her forever.
Could he not have found some demon to satisfy his lust? Some many demons? Some hundred demons? Looking at the opposing choice, she would have allowed him a harem of yasha and she would have served them each dinner, smiling if he asked nicely! But no, he had taken a human. And bedded her -in their bedchambers, no less- while she was out. The coward. Then bringing that filthy heard beast into their home.. to live! Forcing her out of their bed into another room in favor of her! He may as well share his bed with a cow, as far as she was concerned. Then, to top the mountain of shame already upon her- he bore a child with the creature. It was one thing to have a lover. Quite another to bear a child with them unmated. Bearing a child with a human lover was nothing short of unspeakable. But what he did. She thought, seething. Bearing a child, with an unmated lover, with a human lover, while already having a mate and a child already born, hardly a year old! There was no word for this. No term imaginable for the shame. The anger. There shouldnt have to be! Migotoshikyo thought. Her blood boiled with anger and she began transforming, unconsciously.
She should have been killed the second he caught scent of her pregnancy! She thought, growling. Her eyes had gone an arctic blue in a sea of blood when the hanyou in her arms stirred uneasily, sensing her anger. As she calmed herself down, her eyes settling back to their normal glossy dark amber color she cursed herself for allowing her anger to become detectible enough even for a child so young. Then she cursed her mate for commiting the act, no, the atrocity, against her in the first place. She started stroking Inu Yasha's hair.
"Little ifuku... little hanyou Inu Yasha.. You know not what you represent to me." She said aloud, looking at the half-pup in her arms. So trusting. She could kill him with a flick of her finger if she cared to do so, and eat him of so compelled. But that would do nothing. Perhaps upset the bastard's mother. But it wouldnt last long not nearly long enough for the revenge she so desired. And she was sure she would be punished by her mate. She didnt know what she would to if she were actually punished for disposing of the product of his atrocity. It should be her right. But something told her that even if she were given the option, she would not take it.
"Why is it little hanyou, that I dont kill you?" She asked the sleeping pup. As if in response, Inu Yasha wrapped his arms around her and gave a contented little sigh. "You remind me of Sesshoumaru, thats why." She sighed. Like a chance to have a pup again. She thought, wrapping her arms around him and scooping him up close to her face. She knew she missed this. Holding one so helpless close, protecting the sweet little unaware darling from things he didnt know threatened him. The closeness that was absent in most youkai relations. She sighed, remembering how brief her days of rearing Sesshoumaru were. They passed in a fraction of a blink.
"Soon enough your father will try and train you up as well. Then you'll shun my affection as well. Just like my little son. And I'll lose you as well." She said aloud, without realizing it, and gasped at her words. I'm going soft, she thought, then smiled for a fleeting moment as Inu Yasha yawned. He's adorable. Maybe not as handsome or beautiful as Sesshoumaru, but definately he has visual appeal. His features are much softer than Sesshoumaru's. That's what it is. It's the human in him, I suppose. She thought and reached up to stroke one of his ears, the left one, the one still floppy. She chuckled. These ridiculous ears... They make him even cuter. She thought, and pulled him into a hug. She rocked him slowly and sang, in her lightest voice a song that she once sang to Sesshoumaru. It was light and beautiful, her voice crystaline and airy, surprisingly soft and gentle sounding for a youkai with her reputation for particularly excessively bloody violence.
She rocked and sang to the little hanyou pup, a song about cranes in a sakura tree and a beautiful lake glittering with the reflections of stars tickling her surface. While she sang she thought.
Sweet little hanyou, what of your future? Will you grow up strong and proud? Will you find a mate of your own, and have a child who she will rock to sleep at night, singing songs of birds and trees and lakes? Sweet little hanyou pup. I will miss you when you've grown from my arms, and you no longer come to me in the night, crying of the storm. Begging me with your innocent eyes to tell you everything is alright. That nothing will hurt you. That theres nothing to fear. That I'll keep you safe. Everything you already know. You sweet little hanyou pup... She thought, touseling his bangs and kissing him on his tiny nose. I think youre turning me soft.
*[That turned out nothing like I had intended when I started it... but I think I like it better this way. Please tell me what you think. btw- if anyone knows Sesshoumaru's parents' real names I'd greatly appreciate that info... =3 Ryuu]*