Van Halen

Van Halen I
Van Halen II
Woman And Children First
Fair Warning
Diver Down
1984
5150
OU812
For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge
Balance


Van Halen I (Warner Bros. ’78) Rating: A+
If the Sex Pistols showed that “anyone could do it,” Van Halen’s classic debut album showed that it still took actual talent to truly make a lasting musical statement. This bombastic, over the top collection of innovative guitar heroics and arrogant showmanship sounds as fresh today as when it was first released. Back then, it came from out of nowhere to excite - make that completely astonish - audiences. The core of the band was guitarist Edward Van Halen’s jaw dropping speed and flair; his two-handed finger-tapping technique employed on his “Eruption” solo has been so slavishly copied that it has become a part of virtually every hard rock guitarist’s vocabulary since. Unlike Clapton, Page, et. al, Van Halen's guitar sound wasn't blues-based, but his lightning fast hammer ons and tremelo runs ushered the guitar into a new era; small wonder that for years he won seemingly every guitar mag poll. Meanwhile, frontman David Lee Roth possessed an extraordinarily obnoxious but loveable charisma that simply demanded attention. Given the self-parody that he's become, it's hard to explain to the young ones today just how cool Diamond Dave once was; simply put, he was one of the best frontmen ever. His smooth yelps and screams were perfectly complemented by bassist Michael Anthony’s strong backing vocals to complete an explosive musical ensemble. It helped that Eddie was also a great songwriter with a knack for memorable, meaty riffs in addition to his flashy ultra-fast guitar solos, and underrated brother Alex anchored many of their songs with his immediately identifiable drum thump. “Running With The Devil” starts the album with an all-time VH classic, led by its big riffs, Dave's hammy scream-filled vocals and devil may care attitude, a singable harmonized chorus, and of course a cool guitar solo. Then comes "Eruption," which I already mentioned and which was ground zero for the school of shred; plus, does it take balls to make the second song of your debut album an unaccompanied guitar solo or what? Their cover of The Kinks' “You Really Got Me,” one of (too) many to come, is typically over the top and uniquely their own; it’s also pretty great. Not nearly as great as the heavy “Ain’t Talking Bout Love,” however, which may be the best VH song ever, led by its great riffs and catchy chorus. This one has an intense surge and a real edge to it, plus how can you not love Dave's dramatic "I been to the edge" bridge and the "hey hey hey!" finale? Anyway, “I’m The One” is definitely an underrated gem, with more great riffs and a monstrous rhythmic surge accompanied by evocative harmonies and even a cute a cappella section. On the more pop oriented front, “Jamie’s Crying” and "Feel Your Love" share similar, simple ingredients, used extremely effectively, mostly more memorable riffs and catchy harmonized choruses. Sandwiched between them is “Atomic Punk,” which delivers a heavy, dark metallic assault - hide the kiddies from this one. As per most albums, this one ends weaker than it begins, as the last 3 songs are merely good, though they are all that. "Little Dreamer" is slower and more atmospheric than the rest, though Eddie still solos his ass off, and that's also true for "Ice Cream Man," a fun novelty number (the first but certainly not the last such song). Lastly, "On Fire" delivers nuthin' fancy, riff-based hard rock that well, rocks, not spectacularly so but it's still enjoyable, with its most notable characteristic being its big chorus. Anyway, the critics of the day (windbags like Marsh and Cristgau) found them too “obnoxious” and “showy” and scorned their horny lyrics, but my guess is that they just weren’t in on the joke; these guys did everything with a knowing wink, and everybody was always invited to join in on the party. Despite a Hall Of Fame-worthy career (don't even get me started), they never really topped this debut; they then hit the road in support of Black Sabbath, who they famously blew off the stage, thereby jump starting Ozzy's solo career.

Van Halen II (Warner Bros. ’79) Rating: A-
Another seriously fun party record, II’s songwriting drops several rungs below the great debut but is hardly a sophomore slump. Again, Eddie’s flamboyant guitar leads the way, with Diamond Dave’s goofy frontman persona lending levity. “Dance The Night Away” became their first chart hit, and it’s a great pop song - that’s surely not about dancing! There's this perception that Dave was a great frontman who couldn't really sing, but one listen to this song reveals that to be a load of crap, and Anthony's backing vocals were also a major asset and an essential component to the classic Van Halen sound. “Bottoms Up” and “Beautiful Girls” (another radio favorite) also feature all the elements of a great VH tune: cool riffs, hammed up vocals, catchy harmonizing, and lighthearted lyrics about partying with luscious ladies. Although not quite at the "Eruption" level, “Spanish Fly” is a short acoustic instrumental which showed that Eddie could tantalize on any stringed instrument, while “Somebody Get Me A Doctor,” “Light Up The Sky,” and especially “D.O.A.” are heavy-hitting hard rockers sure to please. Although “Women In Love” is a surprisingly pretty and effective semi-ballad with a stellar chorus, the Linda Rondstadt cover “You?re No Good” falls flat and seems pretty pointless, while “Outta Love Again” features some impressive Eddie/Alex interplay but never completely ignites. Still, “Dance The Night Away” and "Beautiful Girls" would be slam dunks for my "best of Van Halen" playlist, and "Bottoms Up" and "D.O.A." would also likely make an extended version of said playlist, possibly “Light Up The Sky” as well. Throw in several very solid album tracks and it all adds up to another extremely entertaining if not quite classic second installment.

Woman And Children First (Warner Bros. ’80) Rating: A-
This largely overlooked gem is largely remembered for two of VH's finest songs, specifically the heavy riff rocker “Cradle Will Rock” and the explosive jungle epic “Everybody Wants Some,” but everything is worth hearing on Van Halen’s heaviest and most experimental release. “Cradle Will Rock” is notable for its descending riffs, nasty mid-tempo chug, and of course Dave's screams (even if you still insist that he can't sing, you gotta admit that he's a great screamer), while “Everybody Wants Some” kicks ass, simple as that, with Alex's tribal beats, Eddie's heavy riff interjections, a catchy chorus about everybody's favorite topic, and a patented Dave spoken word bridge. While these songs are certified classics, any hard rock fan should also enjoy the big grinding grooves of “Fools,” which takes awhile to get going (it's the longest song of the Roth era) and could be more memorable but still scores via its harmonized chants and lotsa wailing guitar. The metallic thumper “Romeo’s Delight” and the eccentric speed rocker “Loss Of Control” are also sure to please the dedicated fan, this album's target audience as there's not much in the way of top 40 material. The lamestream music press was therefore quick to dub this one a failure, though hardcore VH fans would beg to differ, as Diamond Dave is at his most gloriously over the top and Eddie supplies prime guitar acrobatics as per usual, giving each of these songs a unique flavor. In addition, "Take Your Whiskey Home,” “Could This Be Magic?,” and "In A Simple Rhyme,” all of which start mellow before taking off into altogether different directions - bluesy, a semi-novelty light number a la "Ice Cream Man," and a melodic pop rocker - reveal a growing diversity and a restless adventurousness. Sure, not everything they try works, the short segue "Tora! Tora!," for example, and the album's skimpy 33 minute running time leaves you wanting more. Critics also carp about the sex 'n' booze lyrics, but they need to lighten up as Women And Children First rocks and is a prime Diamond Dave-era Van Halen album - need I say more?

Fair Warning (Warner Bros. ’81) Rating: A
This album is rarely mentioned when the topic is Van Halen, probably because like Women And Children First it spawned no major hits. This one has tons of should've been hits, however, and at the very least songs such as "Mean Street," "Unchained," and "So This Is Love?" should be familiar to fans of "classic rock radio." Anyway, putting aside the album's disappointing commercial performance, I wouldn't hesitate to call this the best VH album aside from their spectacular debut. Like most of their albums with Dave, Fair Warning has its own distinct personality, which is darker than anything the boys had given us to date. The killer riff kicking off the nasty “Mean Street” lets you know that lighthearted party songs are not the order of the day, especially when daddy's little girl winds up in “Dirty Movies.” The guitar on this record is simply awesome, and some of their catchiest and most melodic choruses appear on songs such as “Sinner’s Swing,” “Hear About It Later,” and “So This Is Love.” “Sinner’s Swing” ups the speed and the attitude, though an f-bomb precluded it from getting any airplay, “Hear About It Later” boasts one of Dave's best screams and has a moodier overall vibe, and “So This Is Love?” is simply one of their most perfect pop songs. Then there’s “Unchained,” which contains probably Eddie's greatest opening riff and Dave’s most primal scream while taking the time to add humor as well (“one break, coming up!!!”). Though VH are often incorrectly dismissed by humorless critics as being one-dimensional sexual deviants, again the band showcases their underrated versatility by experimenting successfully. “Push Comes To Shove” is another convincingly atmospheric blues turn, while keyboards are introduced on both the almost-industrial 2-minute instrumental “Sunday Afternoon In The Park” and the speedy rocker “One Foot Out The Door,” which likewise falls just short of the 2-minute mark. Why the greatness of this album isn't widely recognized is beyond me, and my only complaint is that like most VH albums it’s too short at 31 minutes.

Diver Down (Warner Bros. ’82) Rating: B
Considering that this was a highly talented band that appeared to be in their prime, this was a lazy and disappointing effort. That said, “Little Guitars” is one of the greatest VH songs ever; melodic, pretty, powerful, and rocking, with exceptional guitar from Eddie (no surprise) and with Dave singing sympathetically (big surprise). “Hang ‘Em High” and "The Full Bug" are also very good speedy hard rockers, while “Secrets” again shows a more relaxed side to the band, with good results. “Where Have All The Good Times Gone” is an amped-up cover of another Kinks song, while their cover of “Dancing In The Street” is also enjoyable, with Eddie’s wah wah guitar giving the song a different kind of bounce than the original. But when did Van Halen become a cover band? Though I dig its menacing guitar intro ("Intruder"), their version of “(Oh) Pretty Woman” is significantly inferior to Roy Orbison's original and therefore seems pointless. In addition, "Cathedral" is a skippable instrumental, while “Big Bad Bill (Is Sweet William Now)” is a novelty jingle-like number and “Happy Trails” a lighthearted joke that barely lasts a minute. Both of the latter songs are covers as well and feature minimal guitar; had the band run completely out of new ideas? Anyway, the album’s total running time is a scant 31:31, a bare minimum of which is devoted to real Van Halen songs, though the band would soon regroup and again give their fans their moneys worth.

1984 (Warner Bros. ’84) Rating: A-
Reasserting their greatness, Van Halen came roaring back with 1984, which featured the bands customary strengths while adding new ingredients. The end result was a resounding commercial success that made for a stellar summer pop album. Van Halen effortlessly elevate keyboards within the mix on the bouncy “Jump,” the band’s lone #1 hit, the moody, dramatic “I’ll Wait,” and the ambient title tune. Not that this album doesn’t rock, mind you. “Panama” and “Hot For Teacher” (best video ever?) are classic VH rockers, with blistering riffs and propulsive beats, while Diamond Dave is at his showy, obnoxious best (i.e. "reach down, between my legs"...). The rest of the album doesn’t quite keep the pace of the hits, but only "Drop Dead Jimmy" is merely decent, the rest ("Drop Dead Legs," "Girl Gone Bad," "House Of Pain") rating as above average album tracks with loads of Eddie guitar fireworks. Still, it's the big hits, all among the best VH songs ever, that this album is primarily remembered for, “Panama” and “Hot For Teacher” in particular being personal favorites; the latter is certainly Alex's shining moment, and who can forget poor Waldo? The main problem with the album is that as per usual it's a bit skimpy, and, though they seemed to add a fresh new element at the time, there's a dated '80s aspect to the keyboards that holds the album back somewhat. It's still great, though, and fans worldwide agreed, as this was the breakthrough release on the back of which the band went from being highly respected hard rock stars to international pop superstars. Unfortunately, this would be their last album with Diamond Dave at the mike, as a swollen head spurred by some solo success (covers of “California Girls” and “Just A Gigolo”) convinced Dave that he could make it without Eddie and company. Dave's solo career was worthwhile at the beginning but soon sunk to embarrassing depths, while Van Halen had significant commercial success with replacement Sammy Hagar (i.e. Van Hagar), though artistically speaking the Diamond Dave years will always be remembered as the band's peak. As such, it’s difficult not to think about what might have been for this groundbreaking band, who hit an accessible peak with this strong outing.

5150 (Warner Bros. ’86) Rating: A-
The first Van Hagar album is the best. Van Halen were always big fans of Montrose, so it made sense that when Diamond Dave "big timed" them they regrouped by hiring former Montrose singer turned journeyman solo artist Sammy Hagar. While not an altogether inspired choice - their years together certainly can't compare to the David Lee Roth years - I think that the "Van Hagar" era was better than most people remember, and 5150 was certainly a fine album, sporting no less than six songs that regularly received airplay back in the day. "Good Enough" introduces the album with a regrettable Roth-like intro that seems forced, but Sammy soon settles in on what is otherwise a good straight up hard rocker, and the speedy, highly energized "Get Up" could be similarly described and also makes for a solid album track. As for the hits, the biggest one was “Why Can’t This Be Love,” and indeed its memorable riffs and catchy chorus was tailor made for radio. Elsewhere, Eddie effectively intersperses keyboards on the excellent “Dreams,” which is more far reflective than your customary Dave tune but which is still melodic and rockin', and the also melodic, extremely well done power ballad “Love Walks In.” This was the band's most blatantly commercial album to date, as 5150 was less reliant on Eddie’s guitar heroics, which remain impressive of course, albeit toned down, than on his strong songwriting. Also, Sammy’s somewhat dream-obsessed lyrics are more mature than Roth’s, though Van Halen wasn’t necessarily a group that you wanted to grow up. As such, some of the fun is gone, as Roth’s exuberance is missed; besides, who ever wanted VH to sing ballads, anyway? Still, though the band no longer exudes effortless fun, and in spite of a few too many "hair band" moments, I heartily recommend 5150, which contains other top-notch songs such as “Summer Nights,” “Best Of Both Worlds,” and the title track. Led by its great riffs and sing along chorus, "Summer Nights" just might be my favorite, as the song is exactly what you'd want it to be based on its title; I especially love the fadeout ending. "The Best Of Both Worlds" is notable for its stop/start riffs, some slinky verses, and a more explosive but still catchy chorus, while the also-catchy title track may well be Sammy's best vocal with the band, highlighted by some high notes there at the end that even Dave would likely approve of. Anyway, Eddie’s strong songwriting and Sammy's solid vocals ensured that Roth’s loss would be minimized, at least temporarily, as “Inside,” the last track and a true waste of time, is the only failed attempt here. However, more would be coming on subsequent efforts, making most fans yearn for the good old days with Diamond Dave.

OU812 (Warner Bros. 88) Rating: B
Although devastated by Dave’s departure, I was encouraged by 5150, as well as by Roth’s successful first solo album, Eat ‘Em And Smile. Roth's career minus stellar sidemen such as Stevie Vai and Billy Sheehan soon devolved into a sad joke, however, as Dave badly miscalculated both his own talent and who the real star of Van Halen was. 5150 was a #1 album, after all, something that they never achieved with Dave, but OU812 (a tongue in cheek reference to Roth’s album) was a somewhat disappointing second installment that dampened my initial enthusiasm about Van Hagar. Although not a bad album by any means, too few of these songs are memorable, though Hagar’s obnoxious caterwauling and some particularly offensive lyrics (“do it ‘till we’re black and blue”) are all too memorable. Keyboards and cheesy if catchy harmonized choruses carry the few instances of stellar songwriting, including the overtly poppy “Feels So Good,” the slinky, low-key funk of “Finish What Ya Started,” and “When It’s Love,” which packs a bit more of a punch despite being another "power ballad" (Sammy really shines on "Feels So Good" and "When It's Love"). Also worthwhile are "Mine All Mine" and "Source Of Infection," a pair of intense, chugging rockers, and the 7+ minute “Cabo Wabo,” which takes too long to get to the meaty parts but features some frenetic guitar solos and singable harmonies. As you can probably tell, this is more of a groove record than a song-based collection, except for the ultra-poppy exceptions, and I can't help but wonder if Eddie could've crafted more memorable, hook-filled compositions. Then again, I guess he already did that on 5150, and this album does cook up some solid grooves and of course Eddie's playing still rules. Still, despite ending the album with the bluesy, messy fun of “A Apolitical Blues” - fun being a word that used to define VH but which I rarely use to describe this album - overall OU812 was a significant comedown in quality that had me seriously doubting the band’s future. But the band would strongly answer the bell one last time.

For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge (Warner Bros. ’91) Rating: B+
The hardest hitting item in the Van Hagar cannon kicks some serious tail and is well worth revisiting. In addition to containing the blatantly poppy but quite strong and still rocking hits “Runaround” and “Top Of The World,” the album also contains the raging first single “Poundcake” (notable for its cool power drill riffs) and another catchy should've been hit by virtue of its evocative chorus, “The Dream Is Over.” There’s only one keyboard track, and it’s another classic, the dramatic “Right Now,” which is less notable for its call to arms commentary than its stellar music. Alas, the song personally makes me recall the pre-game promo before Game Six of the 1993 NBA Playoff Series between the Chicago Bulls and New York Knicks (i.e. "the Charles Smith Series"), when my Knicks were sent packing. Anyway, this album clocks in at 52 minutes, a nice change from a band that had in the past routinely shortchanged their fans when it came to album running times. This allows the band to stretch out on certain tracks and flex their considerable chops, with the underrated Alex whipping up a percussive fury on “Pleasure Dome.” Elsewhere, “Judgement Day” is another intense chugging rocker, “Spanked” is slower and more melodic, and “Man On A Mission” is elevated by its twisting riffs; all are solid album tracks, though “In ‘N’ Out” is less so, being the biggest offender on the "dumb lyrics" front and Eddie going overboard on the squealing guitar sound so beloved of hair bands. Still, despite predictably weak lyrics ("I just love my baby's poundcake"?) and at-times overbearing vocalizing from Sammy, by and large Eddie plays up a storm, and F.U.C.K. (a none too subtle nod to Tipper Gore and her crusading cronies) was an impressively hard rocking return to form.

Balance (Warner Bros. ’05) Rating: B-
OU812 and For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge were major successes, if not quite on the 5150 level, and the should’ve been better live album Live: Right Here, Right Now also fared fairly well, but the band’s commercial fortunes started to slide on Balance, though that was likely due to the musical climate as much as anything, as other old timers such as AC/DC and Aerosmith has similar results at around the same time. Then again, maybe things would’ve been different if VH had delivered a better album. Again, a la OU812, Balance isn’t a bad album, and the extremely poppy “Can’t Stop Lovin’ You” and the stomping semi-power ballad “Don’t Tell Me (What Love Can Do),” featuring a stellar Sammy vocal, were in fact minor hits. But too much of the material here is nondescript, the band’s attempts at experimentation (two space wasting instrumentals, for example) don’t really work, and even strong rockers such as “The Seventh Seal,” “Amsterdam,” and “Aftershock” don’t really offer anything new. Elsewhere, I dig Eddie’s soaring, epic guitar lines on “Baluchitherium,” another instrumental, but the “sensitive” piano ballad “Not Enough” is a bit too Bryan Adams, and “Take Me Back (Deja Vu)” merely offers pleasant enough VH-by-numbers mid-tempo fluff. By the time of the last song, “Feelin’,” a solid if not particularly inspired semi-ballad, Balance starts to seem awfully long, as it definitely suffers from “cd era length,” perhaps the band feeling that they owed their fans a bit more after a rare four year layoff. Be that as it may, Balance was definitely the weakest VH album of the Sammy Hagar era, as perhaps fatigue was starting to set in, though they weren’t nearly as tired as I am by what’s happened since. By now, most of you probably know the story; Sammy was given the boot after Balance, and after Dave recorded two new tracks for a botched “best of” collection (The Best Of Van Halen, Vol. 1), everyone assumed that a full-fledged reunion was in the works, which excited the many people who had waited years for this seemingly inevitable regrouping to happen. Eddie had other ideas, however, as Roth was then also dumped in favor of former Extreme vocalist Gary Cherone, hardly an inspired choice given his vocal similarities to Hagar. The resulting album, Van Halen III, was as bad as you’d expect, and subsequent unproductive years yielded only another botched “best of” (why are the wrong people always put in charge of these things?), the 2-cd The Best Of Both Worlds, which the band used to promote a reunion tour in 2004 - with Sammy, not Dave. Previously, Sam and Dave had actually toured together, but of course it was a total disaster, and in between all this there was an unnecessary amount of nasty mudslinging between the increasingly strange Eddie and seemingly everyone else (aside from brother Alex). Then again, between slamming Dave, Sammy, Cherone, and Anthony, Eddie managed to beat back cancer, so I suppose an eventual new Van Halen album isn’t out of the question...

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