2. You understand all that engineering lingo when LaForge and his engineers are talking.*
3. When you read the novels, in your mind, you can see and hear everything in the right voice and settings. *
4. When a loved one dies you do the Klingon howl.
5. You insist upon wearing a TNG uniform when watching the show itself.
6. You’re at the theatre watching X-men and you keep thinking, “hey, where’s Riker? Oh, wrong movie.”
7. You persistently call Patrick Stewart ‘Captain Picard.’
8. You name your fish Livingston.
9. Upon answering the phone you say “Hailing frequencies open.”
10. You take fencing lessons because Picard fenced.
11. Whenever you are having a bad day you say “Computer, end program.” *
12. The above doesn’t work and you blame Moriarty for taking control of the holodeck. *
13. You turn up at a wedding naked.
14. When having a bad moment, you call a conference to discuss the situation.
15. You wonder why the computer doesn’t answer your voice commands. *
16. You try to locate Labarre. *
17. You shave your head to become more like Jean-Luc
18. You call gummy worms gagh *
19. You buy a pet spider and name it Christina.
20. You know how the Jeffries tube got its name. *
21. A friend tells you when their baby’s due and you reply, “Oh, that’s [Trek actor’s] birthday!” *
22. You get very frustrated with you microwave when it won’t replicate tea, Earl Grey, hot for you. *
23. You refuse to accept Q as just another letter of the alphabet. *
24. When someone asks how you’re doing and you reply, “I am functioning within normal parameters.”
25. You ask “How so?” instead of “Why?”
26. When you depart from someone’s company you say live long and prosper and do the hand thing. *
27. When giving birth and someone asks you to push, you scream, “I AM PUSHING!!!!”
28. After a good deed you feel you have taken one step closer to humanity.
29. When you find things “fascinating.”
30. You get into your car and begin pre-flight procedures for a type 6 shuttle.
31. You don’t want a shot so you ask your doctor to give you a hypospray.
32. You remember all the various command codes given by crewmembers (e.g. Crusher 22 Beta Charlie, ST:FC). *
33. You bake cellular peptide cake…with mint frosting!
34. You ask the pet shop if they sell Feline Supplement number 74.
35. You tell your family you are going to retire to your quarters after dinner. *
36. You download a Star Trek ring tone *
37. You own a phaser. *
38. You spend hours trying to find out how to enrol at Starfleet Academy *
39. You set your computer’s screensaver to ‘starfield’ aka never ending stars and pretend you are looking out the window. *
40. Whenever you step in an elevator you call out the floor number and expect it to take you there. *
41. You go to San Francisco just to find Starfleet HQ.
42. When you’re on a freeway you give the order to increase speed to warp seven…even if you’re the one driving.
43. You threaten to assimilate your dinner.
44. It takes you three hours to eat one chocolate sundae.
45. You start calling your friends Number One. *
46. You call everyone Mr something or by the rank you see fit.
47. You name your daughter Lal.
48. You name your cat Spot.
49. You are in the middle of a five-child family so you call yourself third of five. (this makes me first of three!)
50. When telling siblings to shut up, you yell, “Shut up, Wesley!”
51. You name your son Wesley.
52. You have an annoying relative named Wesley.
53. You have memorized the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition.
54. You call your garage transporter room three, even though you only have one garage.
55. Someone ask you to settle a dispute, but you can’t because it would violate the prime directive.
56. You desperately search for the recipe of plomeek soup.
57. You play Parisi Squares
58. You’ve actually ordered ten chocolate sundaes before.
59. You know the name of the episode in which someone orders ten chocolate sundaes. *
60. You learn to play three-dimensional chess.
61. You own a bat’leth.
62. You prepare Rokeg blood pie for your workmates.
63. Your car breaks down and you tell the guy it’s a problem with the warp field coils.
64. You can make Romulan ale.
65. When you expect a confrontation you see red alert lights flashing in your head.
66. When you get into a fight, you yell, “Fire photon torpedoes!” and start throwing things.
67. You buy touch screen monitors and download an LCARS interface for your computer.
68. Your brother is called Kurn.
69. You ask your optician for a new VISOR.
70. You constantly feel your back looking for an off switch.
71. You actually say "I'm programmed in multiple techniques and a broad variety of pleasuring" as a pick up line.
72. You think a punch equates to a photon torpedo, a kick equates to a quantum torpedo and an insult as a phaser blast
73. When you run, you think you're at warp and if you can't, you think your warp engines are offline
74. You know what a Heisenberg Compensator is and how it works.
75. You actually own one of those corny Enterprise shaped telephones.
76. You have been ejected from multiple theatres for stalking Trek actors performing at them.
77. You go on the web to find out from other Trekkies what signs make you a Star Trek fan. *
78. You named your computer U.S.S. Enterprise.
79. You once hit a guy for thinking Trek was either Star Wars or Star Track. (grrrrr).
80. When you computer starts up it says the I am Locutus of Borg speech...
81. You relate to Carl from the comic strips on ST.com - as you can feel his pain.
82. You change your matter of speaking into a more precise way just to sound like Data.
83. You finish your sentences over the phone by saying: "Picard out."
84. You try to wake up in the morning and you think 'get the warp engines online'.
85. You just love scanning for life forms. *
86. You refuse to go to any doctor that isn't named Soong or Crusher. *
87. When you go to sleep you say 'initiating regeneration'
88. When you wake up you say "regeneration cycle is complete"
89. You tell your doctor that your level 1 internal diagnostic came out just fine
90. You feel the overwhelming need to give long speeches over obvious ethic and fundamental principles. (like Picard)
91. You ask yourself continuously WWPD (what would Picard do?) *
92. You ask yourself continuously WWBD (what would Beverly do?) *
93. When your Boss tries to reprimand you - you ask "permission to speak freely sir?" *
94. You have a tendency to quote star trek in every day conversation (hoping that you non trek friends don't catch on) *
95. You have a tendency to sound overly profound- when in fact you’re quoting TNG.
96. You snap your fingers and expect something to happen. *
97. You go to sci-fi conventions, dress in costume and act in character.
98. You wear fake Vulcan ears to get chicks/guys.
99. You tell people who have fallen out, "Oh, they’re not the worst, just be lucky we don't have to deal with The Borg..."
100. You spend hours and hours on end every day on the Star Trek Forums or looking at random character appreciation sites. *
101. You threaten to vaporize someone with your TV remote.
102. You find it necessary to explain the plot of each episode pictured on your day calendar to those who enter your office. *
103. You tell people, "No, it isn't a pin, it is a communicator." *
104. Every time you get in the car for a long trip you say, "These are the voyages..."
105. You legally change your name to Locutus.
106. You freak people out by doing head twitches similar to Lore.
107. You got interested in poker just because the senior staff play it. *
108. You plan your next vacation on Risa
109. You call every household maintenance company to see if they can do baryon sweeps.
110. You try to come up with solutions to problems by asking yourself "What Would Barclay Do?"
111. You practise the phrase "Resistance is Futile" in a British accent.
112. You went to Madame Tussaud’s and seriously thought about nicking the Patrick Stewart model, taking him home and dressing him in a Starfleet uniform. *
113. Your favourite pastime is looking for Trek actor’s phone numbers on the internet, or if you can't find any, prank calling random numbers on the off chance it's a Trek actor on the other end.........
112. You are chasing an untamed ornithoid without cause.
If you have some more good ones, send them to me!!!
