Rose was born to a Mother who was unable to take care of herself, let alone a child; so Rose ended up in the care of her Grandmother. I am raising her. I have had her since she was one year old, and she is like my own child in so many ways. Rose has suffered many hardships in life, but the final insult to her was a violent act of rape in February of the year 2000. Rose is 12 years old, and the offender was 17.
I would prefer that we just use first names here. I do not want anyone that knows Rose to have any information that might hurt her. The offender, we will just call Daniel, because there are many in this world; and in doing so, it will not bring any more disgrace on the abuser's family. Although they are undeserving of kindness, there are other children in the family who have the right not to have his shame forced upon them.
February 2000:
This was to be the start of a new millennium with hopes for the future; but, unfortunately, Rose's future was shattered. She will survive because she is a strong girl with a good mind and plenty of love. What happened will make you wonder about ever allowing a child to spend the night at a friend's house again.
Rose and her girlfriend had been speaking of spending the night at the friend's house because her girlfriend had spent the night here several times. When the girls were together, they had so much fun that we thought it would be fine for Rose to go there for a change. Rose's friend was a quiet child and never really spoke much to us. If she had told us what her family life was like, we would have never allowed Rose to spend the night. (But that is another whole story in itself.) Let's just say that this was a totally dysfunctional family: The Mother is into doing crack, the step dad is into marijuana, there is an autistic child who has since been given up by the Mother, and three other children that have to fend for themselves all the time. I wish I had known all of this before Rose spent the night, but hindsight is a wonderful thing: Unfortunately, we do not always see clearly until bad things happen.
Rose went to spend the night at her friend's house, and we thought that all was well because she seemed to be having a good time, and she didn't return. (She was only two doors down from our house.)
We were so wrong: She was going through a terrible time, but we didn't know it.
Rose had been told that she must sleep in a bed with the Mother, but Rose saw the stepdad go into the bedroom, so she laid down on her girlfriend's bed and fell asleep. She hadn't been sleeping long when she felt a hand upon her breast. At first, Rose thought it was the little boy in the family. He is seven years old and mentally handicapped like our Andrew. (That type of touch is done accidentally when our Andrew will come up to you and pat you on the breast to tell you something: He doesn't see it as a private body part. It for him is just a way to get your attention.) At this point she said, "What!" and grabbed the hand to make him stop touching her. That is when sleepiness disappeared, and she realized that it was not a child's hand.
What occurred after that was rape. She was forced to allow him to do his nasty deed upon her because he was older and bigger, and she felt she had no way out. After staying up the remainder of the night, she came home quickly changed clothes and took a long shower.
This all took place on a Saturday night. We did not learn of it until Monday. She was afraid to tell us because of his threats. We called the police.
To deal with the legal system is not much fun, I will tell you that. But, we have no other way to take care of our issues. We had the police here, and they requested a pair of pants that Rose had been wearing on that day. Unfortunately, we do laundry on Sundays, so the pants had been washed. We felt that we had no evidence because of this but the police said we were not to worry because they were checking the home for evidence. Well, the evidence was there for the police as Rose had stated. They removed bedding , etc., from the home, and it was clear that they felt that they had a strong case. (The boy, by the way, had confessed too.)
Well, as you know, the courts move very slowly. We went to court four times before we got a plea. They were "dragging their feet" in hopes that we would not pursue this, but we wanted justice. Our family, in the meantime, was being unduly harassed by this family because they said it was Rose's fault that this happened -- that she should have slept in the bed with the Mother like she had been told. Unfortunately, the Mother did not realize that this is illegal in this State: No child may sleep in the same bed of an unrelated adult. If these people had said that Rose could not spend the night because they had no room, we would have accepted that: She would have been home, safe and sound in her own bed.
What has since transpired, is that we have a young man who has been sentenced to five years probation, he must participate in a 5-step program for abusers, he has to register as a sex offender now and every five years for the remainder of his life, and he must send $25.00 every week into a fund for abused children. This, he must do, for five years. The Judge asked if we wanted him to send us the money as restitution; but we said that what he had done, money could never replace, so we agreed with the Judge to have money sent to the fund to help other children.
Rose has a long road ahead to learn to recover and deal with this; but, she is an intelligent child and will find she has worth and support from her family and close friends.
This the poem that my oldest daughter wrote for the Judge the day of the guilty plea:
You tore my families life apart,
Like a knife in the heart.
You made our lives turn upside down,
Instead of smiles we wear a frown.
We will never let it get us down,
We can turn our life around.
The memories of what you did won't stay,
In time, they will slowly fade away.
OTHER PAGES ON THIS SITE
SIGNALS: A Sexual Abuse Alert List
A Letter from Pat to the Webmistress
AUGUST 2005 UPDATE
Innocence Lost Website: Awards & Things - Page 1 of 3
Innocence Lost Website: Awards & Things - Page 2 of 3
Innocence Lost Website: Awards & Things - Page 3 of 3
MAY GOD RICHLY BLESS YOU!
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