The first time Jack leaves a mark is when Brian is twelve. Brian is in the backyard with other neighborhood kids constructing a fort to play in. Him and his friends use some of Jack’s tools to construct the structure. Jack stumbles out into the yard and tells his friends to get the hell home. Brian can smell the liquor on his breath and wishes that his fort was strong enough to keep Jack out. Jack picks up the tools surrounding the fort and starts grabbing them off the grass. “Did I say you could use my tools Sonnyboy? You think you're man enough to use my stuff?” His words slur and Brian braces himself for a punch. Instead he feels the cold metal hit his arm and leg and realizes Jack is throwing the tools at him. “Pick up the fucking tools and put them back where they belong.” Jack finds the hammer used to nail the fort together. The instant the hammer connects with his rib, Brian knows he’s broken one. The pain is excruciating, but he doesn’t cry. He only needed to cry once to realize it solved nothing. Three days later, a massive bruise covers his chest. His new friend Mikey asks how he got it one day while changing in P.E. class. “A soccer ball hit me during practice.” Brian realizes how easy it is to cover up the truth with a lie.

The first time Brian is admitted to the hospital, it’s because Debbie and Vic can’t believe the amount of blood gushing from his nose. They pick him up at a payphone down by Downey’s Pizza at midnight. Brian’s lip is cut, his eye is swollen, and his nose is gushing blood. Debbie tries to hide the shock when she pulls up to a huddle mass of clothes waiting beside the payphone on a bench; Vic’s grip on her thigh calms her down. Debbie doesn’t even bother taking him back to her place; she drives him straight to Allegheny General. Brian tells the ER doc some kids in the neighborhood beat him up. Debbie pays the hospital bill and takes Brian home with her after the 40 stitches help to repair the damage done by Jacks fist.

The first time Brian gets a hangover from too much liquor happens his freshman year at college. He agrees to go with Lindsey to a sorority function and finds the party unbelievably boring. He flirts with the bartender who supplies him with shots of Vodka throughout the night. He wakes up the next morning in a purple plush room of some sorority girl. Lindsey is in the same room lying on the bed. He wakes her up and tells her its time to get the fuck home. By the time she gets to her feet, the world around him is spinning. Lindsey walks him down to street to her apartment where he spends the next eight hours throwing up. Lindsey spends most of the time on the bathroom floor with him telling him about his performance at the party and old stories about her childhood. He finds it comforting to know that she sits there with him the whole time. It’s the last time Brian ever does shots of Vodka straight or goes to a sorority function.

The first time Brian gets really sunburned he’s 33 years old. He decides to surprise Justin on his birthday and visit him out in California. He finds it slightly disturbing that its eighty degrees out in February but doesn’t think to put on sunscreen. Justin and him spend a day down in San Diego lying on the beach. It isn’t until Brian and Justin get back to Justin’s apartment in Studio City, that he starts to feel itchy. Justin tries to be caring but he keeps reminding Brian that he told him to put on sunscreen, even if he can’t fucking see the sun. Justin spends the following day rubbing aloe on Brian’s back and forcing him to watch the cartoon network. Brian starts to think sunburns aren’t so bad. A blonde massaging his back, blowjobs to supplement the sex they can’t have, and he gets to secretly watch Scooby Doo, his favorite cartoon. Maybe he’ll forget to pack his sunscreen next time he comes out to California.

The first time Gus gets sick while under Brian’s care, Brian thinks he’s done for. He calls Justin at Kinnetic and asks him to come home and help. When Justin comes home he finds Gus lying in the middle of the loft floor on the futon, covered in blankets. Brian is lying right next to him reading him pages from Rage, the edited version. Justin isn’t sure at that moment who he loves more, Gus for making Brian able to love or Brian for loving Gus so much.

The first time Brian cries openly in public is when he is 59 years old sitting in a church looking up at the altar. Gus is standing in a tux exchanging vows with his fiancée Allison in a traditional Catholic wedding. Brian looks to Gus’s right and his eyes fall on Justin whose wiping his eyes trying to hide the tears pouring down. Brian spends the next four hours entertaining guest at the wedding reception. It isn’t until he is dancing in the middle of banquet floor with Justin that he realizes it’s been thirty years since the Prom. Even though Justin never remembers the dance, Brian never forgets. He holds Justin a little closer during the slow songs and never misses an opportunity to whisper how much he loves him into his ear. He also manages to whisper how he plans to fuck him senseless later that night. Either way, Justin thinks Brian’s ridiculously romantic.