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Greetings!
Last week, I shared my
sadness and bafflement over losing
K as a friend with my
friend, Cia. I was crestfallen. Mostly, she quietly
listened.
Cia
Last
Thursday, I was in the file room and came across K's file and a copy
of Cia's letter to K in it. When I asked her about it, she said she
spoke her truth, albeit with language that she edited, tempered, and
decolorized from her first draft. Putting great store in
friendships, we must share the same sensitive nerve.
I read her letter in the
file room and was deeply moved. She was being true to The
Four Agreements: speaking with integrity and communicating with
others as clearly as she could.
"She 'gets'
me," I thought. "What a friend I have in Cia. Unafraid to
speak her truth, she's willing to go to bat for a friend and clarify
the picture."
Few do, "get"
me, that is. Just as I am feeling more at home here on the
Mainland, I get these heart jolts that remind me that mālama
(caring and generous giving), sharing of Aloha
and Mahalo, and pāna`i
(reciprocity) are island norms and not of this land. Although I
have lived most of my life away from the islands, I still can feel
like a stranger in a strange land, wondering why I stay and what
keeps me here.
In a life, a person may
receive praise, accolades, trophies, plaques and awards -- those
pats on the back and "You go, girl!" encouragements -- in
various forms. Cia's words came in the form that I can
appreciate most -- words straight from her heart.
When I am 88, I'd like to look back
on my life and reread Cia's words from 38 years ago. I envision
myself feeling her embracing warmth as deeply as when I read her
words for the first time on Thursday. This feeling was
uplifting for my soul and stayed with me all weekend.
So yesterday, I returned to the file
room and retrieved K's file to make a copy of the copy of Cia's
letter to keep here for safekeeping and easy access.
Between ages 50 1/2 and 88, when the
bitter overwhelms the sweet, I will return to these words by Cia.
They will remind me to be grateful for the bittersweet in
life: the loss of a
friendship was not it vain, and instead has lead to the deepening of
an abiding friendship with another ever so dear, a friend in deed.
| Dear
K,
...I feel
it's important that you are made aware of all the services
you received from AU at no charge. Those included five
Xs and 9 Ys.
AU is one of
the most special and giving people I have ever had the
pleasure to know. I've worked with her for the past
eight years, and I know for fact that people like her are
rare.
I have always
trusted that she would do what was right for the
client. She never advises clients to make a change
unless there has been a significant change. She has never
done this work for the money.
She will not
break her principles and believe me, when most of her peers
in our area were jumping on a money-making bandwagon, she
felt so strongly that this was and still is not the right
thing to do that she would have no part in it.
She counsels
people that have had the procedure and are not doing well,
and she is a strong advocate for clients to be informed of
all the possible side effects, both short term and long
term.
Our office
has always had the tradition of putting client care first,
above all else. We do what is best for the
client. Requests for special favors that go against
this tradition or requires us to bend the rules will be
declined. This is as it should be.
"We are
not for everyone, only nice people who are quality-minded are
welcomed referrals." That's what I've heard AU
tell all of her clients repeatedly over the years. So,
if you feel you cannot refer patients in for the best care
they can possibly get by those who put their clients' best
interests ahead of their own, then perhaps we were not the
right office for you after all.
I wish you
good luck...
Sincerely,
Cia |
I write about Cia a
lot in this journal,
type in Cia in the Search
Box.
We once swam with
dolphins in the wild, together.
She is one very special person in my life.
Mahalo e ke Akua.
"Life is a Gift."
Me ke
Aloha,
Author
Unknown
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"The
only gift is a portion of thyself..."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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