But before the Allstars fade away, there's one last tour... they need the money
IT'S a sad day for Aussie entertainment, a devastating time for thousands of fans - but a moment of profound relief for many parents!
The Doug Anthony Allstars are calling it a day.
After nearly a decade of irrepressible, and often offensive, humour, the madcap musical comedy trio is hanging up the insults.
They want to get out before they get too embarrassingly old.
Starting out in Canberra as a wild music group, the trio wanted to use the name "Allstars" in the title of their evolving comedy act, and link it with a name that had a diametrically opposed quality.
The name of the conservative, former Country Party leader seemed perfect. Many younger fans did not know that Doug Anthony was a real person.
But before the irreverent threesome frantically exit the stage to pursue solo careers, Tim Ferguson (the handsome one), Paul McDermott (the angry one) and Richard Fidler (the nice one) are hawking themselves around the country for one last rude, insulting and hilarious romp.
They've cannily dubbed their final tour 25 Years Of Fun, even though they've been together for only eight. They reckon it sounds more impressive and will help them cash in. Because they reckon they need the cash!
Tim Ferguson confesses exclusively to Australasian Post, he has "money troubles".
"I've got gambling debts to pay and frankly the group isn't covering the costs..." he says. "Richard has them as well, but his problems are with the TAB, and they don't come around and break your legs or shoot your family.
"I have to stay in Australia or I'll be knee-capped! I've been spending up big on poker and at the dogs. The dog races were just too exciting for me and I lost control.
"Bert Newton is giving me some advice on how to handle the whole thing."
Bert got some publicity recently about his own gambling debts, but Tim doesn't want to talk about that because Bert Newton is one of the band's idols. He and Ernie Sigley are their spiritual inspiration!
"I'm a big Ernie Sigley fan myself," says Paul. "He's the best!"
Says Richard, in his equitable style: "I think you can like both of them at the same time."
Not that their shows resemble Bert or Ernie in any way.
With titles like "God and Satan" and jokes about sex, incest and religion, their shows may not have endeared them to everyone, but they have developed a huge following, particularly among teenage girls.
Their TV shows developed a wider audience when they first brought mayhem to ABC-TV on The Big Gig and then with their own show, DAAS Kapital. They've spent much of the past few years in England where they had their own TV show.
Now they want to outrage and entertain just one more time with 25 Years Of Fun, which is now underway and winds up in Perth on December 17.
Of course, the Dougs have been known to encourage stories that are, shall we say, a little flimsy on foundation - such as the much-publicised yarn they would appear in the Batman movies. But they say that as far as breakups go, this is it.
"There won't be a Skyhooks reunion for us," says McDermott.
"We won't be up there telling jokes with colostomy bags and catheters everywhere. I mean look at The Rolling Stones. They don't even have their own blood any more!"
No, the decadent three want to grow old gracefully.
But what are they going to do next? For Ferguson, it's politics. He has already had a shot at it back in 1990 when he stood as a candidate for the conservative seat of Kooyong, recently vacated by Andrew Peacock.
One of his promises that everyone between the ages of 16 and 18 would be jailed. He got 4000 votes!
He was thinking about standing for Kooyong again, but has set his sights higher.
"I'm looking strongly at the Ministry of Defence," he says. "Robert Ray and I have chatted. His wife is a big fan. I'm sure he'll step aside for a younger man who knows what to do. I want to buy nuclear weapons for Australia so that if we have any trade problems we can threaten people unless they buy our wheat!"
Paul McDermott has more humble aims - any form of international stardom will do.
Richard Fidler intends returning to the UK soon to make interactive videos and CD ROMs.
And what of long-term? Australasian Post asked what their lifelong aims are.
McDermott: "I want to go on a foot tour through Palestine and the Middle East, tracing the steps of the poet Kahlil Gibran."
Fidler: "I want a giant penthouse in Paris overlooking the whole city. By the way, I would own the city."
Ferguson: "I want to eventually retire to a huge farm just next door to Malcolm Fraser so I can lob my garbage over the fence on to his place!"
