|
HQ Magazine, Spring 1991
THE DOUG ANTHONY ALLSTARS are a "performance art" trio comprising Tim Ferguson, Paul McDermott and Richard Fidler, who star in their own ABC-TV program, DAAS Kapital. They have created their unique brand of havoc at the New York, Montreal and Edinburgh comedy festivals and are intimates of Barry Crocker.
What is the best thing you've ever done?
Single-handedly removed Andrew Peacock from Australian politics.
What would you like to be doing five years from now?
We'll be dead long before then. Maybe we'll go to a party one night and just quietly die. Or maybe we'll simply collapse under the weight of our own contradictions. (Unlikely)
What are you superstitious about?
Strangers with shotguns, Satan, screaming air hostesses, large blocks of granite suspended over the head.
What is you favourite work of art?
Tim: Young Martyr by Paul Delaroche.
Paul: Phillip's c--- by Robert Mapplethorpe.
Richard: The Netherlandish Proverbs by Bruelghel the Elder.
What book/s are you reading at the moment?
Tim: Godel, Escher, Bach by Douglas Hofstadler.
Richard: Also Sprach Zarathrustra by Neitzsche.
Paul: The Wagner Republic by Doreen Langbene.
What is your earliest memory?
Waking up naked outside a Chinese resturant with a smoking gun.
Who would you most like to meet?
Jean Cocteau, the Marquis de Sade and Barry Crocker (we've already met him but he hasn't called for ages).
What do you dislike most about your appearance?
Paul.
What word/s might other people use to describe you?
Ponces. Wankers. Virgins. Bad at sport. F uck. (See "F uck")
What word/s would you use to describe yourselves?
Ponces. Boring. Jacobites. Taller than we look on TV.
Who is the most overrated/underrated person on earth?
Underrated: Lucky Grills
Overrated: Mother Teresa.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
To stop shaking for one day.
What makes you depressed?
People who ignore the misery and horror of life and think we're going to survive the holocaust of diseases we haven't even dreamed of yet in a future world of decay, futility and feculent despair.
What objects do you always carry with you?
Paul.
What is your favourite word?
F uck. (See "F uck")
What is your greatest fear?
AIDS, police, cancer, anyone from Darwin, Turkish prison guards.
Paul: Car alarm girls!
What is your greatest extravagance?
Real estate. Lots of it.
Richard: Giving the iron lung a fresh coat of paint.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourselves?
Our innocence.
What is the trait you deplore most in others?
Poverty.
What is your favourite journey?
From Brisbane to anywhere.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Sodomy.
On what occasions do you lie?
During confession. Whenever a journalist is in the room.
Which words or phrases do you overuse?
Please. Thankyou. Sorry. Put these on.
What is your greatest regret?
Kissing Andrew "Big Boy" Denton on That's Dancin'. Now he follows us everywhere.
What one thing would inprove the quality of your life?
A big box to put all the money in.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Circular breathing. (Common in digeridoo players.)
How would you like to die?
On television.
Richard: I'd like the nurse to sneak in and switch the iron lung off while I'm asleep.
What is your present state of mind?
Altered. Now bugger off.
|
