1. What did you want for Christmas last year? And what did you get instead?
I wanted an end to world hunger, peace for all nations and a subscription to Picture Magazine.
What I got was a good lunch, the bombing of Nairobi and a bottle of Glenmorangie ‘72.
2. Which do you really prefer: Playstation or Nintendo?
Nintendo - they pay more.
3. Are you a skier, snowboarder, tobogganer, or the person that sits with a hot chocolate in the lodge by the fire all day?
None. I am the fearless St Bernard who saves them all from an icy death. I ask for nought but a bowl of raw meat and a bottle of brandy...
4. What was the best Star Wars movie and why?
Definitely ‘Empire Strikes Back! Because of the incestuous pash between Leia + Luke - talk about edge! I mean, go George, go!
5. What was your favourite holiday?
The foothills of Saigon in the Spring of ‘61.
6. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done for a dare?
Six Series of Unreal Tv. Reckless, I know...
7. What character would you play at a murder party?
The one who calls everyone playing the game a wanker.
8. How good are you on a pogo stick?
You’ll have to ask the pogo stick. (If you do, can you tell it to call me?)
9. What’s your favourite position in twister? And favourite person to play against?
Fave position: The Enveloping Yoni Touches The Moon.
Fave person: Amanda Vanstone (She can be the Lunar Orbit.)
10. Now, about that porn movie you claim to have made... where can we get a copy?
In your dreams.
Or try ‘Amsterdam Hard’, 32/9 Kurfurstendamm - Strasse - Berlin, 201 (Open 24 hours.)
11. We were going to ask for a self-portrait, but that's been done... how about an outline of your hand instead?
