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Note: This was written several years ago, so it's a bit dated.

        Well, bros and sis's, as you know, my birthday has been over for quite awhile now, but the Virtual Stoke Virtual Cake page has remained primarily unchanged (except for the addition of Virtual Champagne to celebrate my two-month anniversary). I thought about taking this part of the page down......
        BUT....
        Luckily, a new occasion to celebrate has arisen! Not my birthday (not for another ten or so months), but the b-day of someone very near and dear to all of us Biker Mice fans: Mr. Tom Tataranowicz! So break out the party hats, grab some hot dogs and root beer, and siddown while I tell you all about our Hero of Heroes (as my bro Rogue puts it). Tom was the producer/director of "Biker Mice From Mars during all three seasons (1993-1995 or so). Now, many of you might not know what a producer does, exactly. Frankly, I'm not entirely sure myself. Let's consult my computer's thesaurus, shall we? Okay. "Producer" is apparently synonomous with "creator","fabricator" "rower", and "farmer." Um....Okay. Well, given that I don't think Tom did any rowing or farming for "Biker Mice", I'd say that my thesaurus really sucks, and I should consider picking up a dictionary.
        Basically, as I understand it, the producer of an animated series oversees all aspects of the show: writing, animation, voice recording, background painting, etc. By way of metaphor, that means Tom picked up all the brightly colored eggs, put them in the basket, fixed them up right, and sent them on their way. He's the Easter Bunny of "Biker Mice."
        I think someone's gonna hurt me for that comparison.
        Suffice to say, Tom's largely responsible for the high-quality work we "Biker Mice" fans came to love and cherish. Thanks to him, the show was consistently funny, good to look at, and a hoot to watch. Incidentally, he's also worked on tons of other animated series, including "Fantastic Four", "Iron Man", and "The Incredible Hulk" (I liked the Ghost Rider episode, personally). This fall, he's also got a hand in the new "Robocop" animated series (though he seems to be warning us against watching it). We've been lucky enough to have Tom stop by the Unofficial Biker Mice From Mars Fan Club Message Board, at which point he's left quite a few delightful little tidbits for us to ponder over. He's hinted at what would've been the fourth season's episodes (another three-parter featuring the mice joining the Freedom Fighters and Modo's wife (I had no idea he was married, though I imagine she would've died in that trio of episodes, had they come to fruition)), as well as informing us that Vinnie and Charley eventually would've "done it."
        .....
        No, we wouldn't have actually have gotten to see it, pervert.
        At any rate, we all really appreciated that.
        Tom Tataranowicz and Sailor Mercury--what's the connection?Now, Tom's b-day happens to hit on September 22. That makes him a Virgo--just like Sailor Mercury!
        Sorry, I couldn't resist throwing in a "Sailor Moon" reference. She's so cute, dammit! Look at her! LOOK AT HER!
        As near as I can tell, the zodiac sign coincidence is the only similarity between Mercury and Tom--the fearless producer doesn't turn into a Sailor Soldier and has no magical powers.
        That we're aware of.....
        I checked my book of historical events to see if anything interesting happened today, and apparently, the only event of any signifigance is Tom coming into the world. You'd think somebody would've bombed a building or a little nation would've crumbled or something today. Oh well.
        Well, Rogue mailed me last night, so I know now (and so do you) that Tom turns 46 this year. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Stoke, isn't that old? Isn't that over the hill?" And you know what I say to that:
        Why are you always asking me stupid questions? I'm not Craig Kilbourne, dammit!
        According to Rogue, who has fairly regular contact with him, Tom's looks have changed since the above picture was taken. Tom says he's 30-35 pounds lighter (way to hit the gym, bro!), and got rid of the beard.
        Now, as many of you are aware, a birthday C.A.R.E. package was gathered together by Rogue and sent on its merry way to L.A. just this Saturday. It contains contributions from many member of the Fan Club, including Decembergirl, Nikata, Felicia Tabby, MP, Gabrielle, DT, Pyro Bob, Saphire, Redspo, Rogue, Rogue's mom, Hayden, myself (the two Sailor Mouse pics seen here, only he got the originals), and blank. The deity of hog-riding hamsters should be getting all these goodies right around Monday or Tuesday, so, Tom, if you see this, hope you liked everything!
        Finally, in celebration, all "Biker Mice" fans are asked to make at least one meal of the day hot dogs and root beer. It's almost like communion wafers and wine, only tastier. And remember, don't stop at just one! The more, the better. This is a day of feasting! A day of celebration! So lift your mugs high and sing joyful wishes to the heavens for Tom Tataranowicz!
        Yeah, you could do it now, too.

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