“Your father, it seems, is on the move.” Caedus sat at the head of the polished table, chewing thoughtfully.

Allana sat to his right, Ben on his left. Allana never spoke at mealtimes and in fact, rarely spoke to her father beyond niceties. Caedus never noticed; he was too enamored of the idea of having a daughter that he never bothered to maintain a relationship with her; and neither princess nor apprentice liked indulging in conversation in the Sith Lord’s presence.

Ben continued eating, if somewhat mechanically. So it’s come to this. You had to come out into the open, didn’t you, Dad?

Allana heard that; her gray eyes widened perceptibly.

“I don’t mean to send you after him, little Ben,” Caedus chuckled, “not yet. We will let him be a little longer. When you have fully transitioned out of your pitiful gray we will move.”

Ben nodded silently. Allana’s eyes were full of questions. He shook his head, but just barely.

 

 

 

“Luke Skywalker is your father.”

Ben looked up to see Allana following him. He turned away. “In a manner of speaking.”

“He either is or isn’t, Ben Skywalker—and I would say is. Why else would you have kept his name?”

( ...skywalker...it’s only a name.... )

Why indeed, he had often wondered. He would have changed his name to Ben Jade, to honor his mother, but something had prevented that.

“So he’s my father. So what?”

“Caedus will kill him.” Allana said it as fact, but how could she know? She had been sheltered from anything too indelicate for her royal ears. “My father will kill your father.”

Ben shrugged.

( a shadow has no use for a father )

Allana’s eyes flashed. “Don’t you care? He’s your father!”

Ben smiled a smile he didn’t feel. “Caedus has never told you...but he killed my mother. And we saw him kill yours. It is only right that he completes the cycle.”

“You wish to—depart—with him?” Allana’s expression suddenly softened to understanding. “You would sacrifice yourself for your father?”

Suddenly, he slapped her. “How dare you suggest that a Sith apprentice retain any values relating to the weaker side of the Force? How dare you even hint that I still lo—”

He fled.

 

 

“Ben...Ben, I’m sorry.”

Ben sat on his bed, face turned away from his visitor. “You are not allowed in here. Go away.”

“You sound like a child.” Allana moved to sit beside him. “Ben...you must stop my father. I—I—can’t take this anymore!”

Startled, Ben turned to stare at her. “You have nothing to deal with, Princess Allana,” he said quietly. “I watch over you, your father watches over you. The Jedi won’t touch you. You are safe.”

“And surrounded by darkness,” she said bitterly.

“But not touched by it,” he tried to smile.

The Force rocked with her anger and—yes, her hatred. Ben had tried to protect her—

“I watched my father kill my mother in cold blood, Ben Skywalker,” Allana whispered fiercely. “I watched her die while you held me. We watched—and did nothing. How could you even try to protect me from that?”

 

Show me how you killed her.

Ben, we’ve been through this.

You have taken everything from me. Why deny me this? Don’t you want me Dark?

Come with me, Ben. Let us flow-walk. You will understand my sacrifice...for I loved your mother as well...

 

Allana was sobbing. Ben drew her close and laid his red-gold head on top of her dark red one. Their tears mingled as he drew on the Force to take them on a journey—to the day his mother had died.

 

Don’t try to fight it...no healing trance...Don’t you see, Mara?

Allana’s heart was breaking for her cousin. She knew how much he loved and revered his mother.

This particular flow-walk had been repeated many times, as soon as Ben secretly mastered the skill, but it never stopped being painful. Ben held onto Allana just as fiercely as she clung to him.

I refuse to let you ruin the future for my Ben.

“It’s not ruined yet, Ben,” Allana whispered. “We can save it, you and me...I can save you...”

The past faded and they were back in Ben’s room.

“No one can save me, Allana,” he replied gently, “but I will never forget that you offered.” He touched her face, wiping away her tears. “Let me escort you back to your quarters, Princess.”

She nodded, still crying silently.

 

 

Luke woke from hyperspace slumber with a start. It was that dream again—Mara’s death, Jacen’s betrayal, and Ben looking on in despair. It had repeated so many times over the years until Luke finally welcomed it as another moment to see his wife and son.

He rubbed his eyes and checked his instrument panel. Artoo twittered an ETA of fifteen minutes before entering Bakura’s atmosphere. Luke mumbled soft thanks and ran his fingers through his hair.

If Leia can do it, so can I.

His heart ached, but he gathered the Force for strength.

Ben is no longer my child. My son, but not my child. Malinza, my child but not my daughter.

                                                                                    (...I have no son...)

And the memory of a despairing son was left in the stars as Luke touched down planetside.