Chuck Panozzo
Chuck Panozzo (born Charles Salvatore Panozzo, on September 20, 1948, in Chicago) is a bass player.
A longtime member of the rock band Styx, he founded the group with his brother, drummer John Panozzo, who died in July 1996. After three decades as a Styx mainstay, Chuck Panozzo left the band shortly thereafter, though he has reappeared with the band occasionally.
In 1999, rumors surfaced that Chuck was not touring with Styx because his long
time friend Dennis Deyoung was no longer with Styx. Dennis Deyoung said in
an interview with www.styxcollector.com
that it was not true. Quote From Dennis Deyoung
"That is the most outrageous ... it's a lie. It had nothing whatsoever to do with me.
Nothing. In fact, Chuck had decided not to do that before this whole issue with me even came up."
Chuck's main reason for leaving the band is to take some time and take care of
his health, as well as his Partners health. Chuck moved to Florida with
his partner. Chuck does appear on occasion with Styx.
In 2001, Panozzo announced he was gay and living with AIDS, and he has been involved in campaigning for AIDS awareness and gay rights. In 2006, he spoke with Frontiers Magazine for the first time about his decision to come out.
Chuck wrote an Autobiography that tells his life Story called The Grand Illusion. The Grand Illusion is a revealing look at the triumphs and tragedies that surrounded Panozzo’s life. He chronicles life on the road, the break-up of the band, his struggle to help his twin brother and bandmate John Panozzo battle addiction, as well as his split with his friend since they were 12 Dennis De Young, and finally coming to terms with his HIV positive status.
A Bio from Chuck on chuckpanozzosplace.com.
I
grew up on the south side of Chicago in the 1950's. As a child I use to love to
sit on the porch and draw, play ball, and do all the fun activities any child
would do. At the age of seven, my twin brother and I took music lessons from an
uncle. I attended catholic schools and eventually John and I were part of a
twenty-five piece accordion band, John on drums and myself on rhythm guitar.
From the age of five, I always knew I was different from most of the boys in my
neighborhood. I was a very sensitive person, and there were not many boys that
liked to sit around and draw like I did. I recall one day when I was seven, and
had a broken leg, we had a fire drill at school, and a guy in the 8th grade had
to help me out. This was when I really realized my same sex attraction. I
recall afterwards thinking, I wanted to know when the next fire drill was going
to be. However, in that day, you did not talk about things like being gay.
The word gay was not used...gay people were referred to as
"homosexuals", or worst of all "queer". There were no role
models for a gay child to follow, so music became an escape, something to get
lost in and not have to face who I really was.
In high school I became even more involved in music. We had been playing
weddings since we were 12. Thanks to "word of mouth" we had gotten
work around the area. We were paid $15.00 each to perform what we called
"standard tunes". We were a dance band, and we were now ready to
venture out and play rock-n-roll. Eventually we became one of the most
successful garage bands on the south side of Chicago. I left for a year to go to
a seminary. Then I came back, began playing bass, and decided that was the
instrument for me. We played a lot of private and public schools throughout the
area.
I went to college and received a degree in art education. I went on to
teach sophomores, juniors, and seniors at a local high school. Finally I left
teaching to pursue a career in Styx. I remember telling my father. While he was
disappointed, he understood. Now I was about to begin living my life as a young
gay guy, in a very public role.
The song "Lady" hit it big on radio. Soon we went from a band
being ignored, to a band that was hot. We released a few albums, and then the
Grand Illusion appears, it is a glorious album. Everybody wrote
collectively on it. Part of my job was to oversee the artwork for the albums.
The Grand Illusion artwork was originally going to be smaller, but I asserted my
beliefs that it remained the way it appeared in the end. Being so involved in
music had become my way of living with the secret I kept from most. My sexual
life was never a topic of discussion amongst the band. We had too many other
things to focus on, besides our personal sexual lives. I had told my brother and
sister when I was 20 that I was gay. My sister thought it was just a
"phase", John just thought, "Well that's just Chuck." Again,
my sexual orientation was never a big focus of discussion even with family.
In 1991, a doctor diagnosed me as HIV positive. I in turn asked the doctor, 'how
long do I have to live?' The doctor said, "I don't know". I then
asked, 'what can I do?' The doctor's reply, "I don't know". So I
walked away not knowing. The attitude seemed to be, I don't know when you're
going to die, but it doesn't matter. I then did something that turned out to be
somewhat prophetic, I walked into a clinic where gay guys are treated for
sexually transmitted diseases. I wrote a check and told them I knew they were
doing research on an STD that there is no cure for right now, and that I wanted
to donate money to the effort, thinking some day it might come in handy for me.
Little did I know how true that would be later on in my life.
In 1998, I became really sick. It was then I came to the realization, that I
couldn't live like this anymore. I would live alone, by myself, and never
connect with anyone. So I set goals, to get well, to perform again, and to out
myself as a gay man with HIV. The hardest goal to reach was going to be getting
well. I had severe anemia, which the doctors didn't know how to treat very well
at first. I began a treatment of 23 different pills a day and various shots. It
was a very aggressive regimen. This disease is not for sissies. I feel I have a
moral obligation to help further the cause of research by my participation in
study groups. I will continue to do so. 21st century medicine,
doctors, psychologists, and support from other HIV individuals all play a very
important role in surviving with HIV and AIDS.
In the beginning of treatment there were literally days I did not want to take
my medicines, due to side effects, but I kept in mind those that were living as
I was, like Greg Louganis and Magic Johnson. If they could do it so could I. The
medicines, which are now down to about half of what I originally had to take,
will now be a part of the rest of my life. As well as the visits to the
physician every six weeks for blood test. There are many side effects that go
with taking the drugs, such as osteoporosis, wasting, heart problems,
diabetes...just to name a few. But side effects from medicine is a part of the
factor for most anyone that has to take them on a long-term basis. As long as
you stay on your medicine, and fight aggressively, they are finding you can live
an average life span. Not only did I have to adjust to taking all this
medication, there were lifestyle changes to deal with. At first when I was
really sick, I had to become use to not being able to go anywhere for the most
part, or only going out for small periods of time. It also requires
eliminating stress from your life. Most people have to revise their work
schedules, or not work at all. In making all these adjustments for myself I was
able to bring down my viral load count and raise my T-Cell count. I was on
my way to getting better. Which would allow me to reach goal number two...to
perform again.
I had told the guys in the band I would not be able to tour, that my goal at
this point was to get well, and I would keep them informed as to how I was
doing. Then in the middle of this, I was dealing with losing John a few years
ago, to now losing my mother. When my brother died, I had told my sister that
mom wouldn't make it past another two years. I was right. I
had just begun taking all the medicine I was prescribed when she passed away. I
was very weak at the time and it was very difficult to take the medicine through
it all, but I did.
My first show back was Las Vegas. I wondered to myself "Why did you pick
Vegas of all places to make a return?" Well I figured if it was good enough
for Elvis to make his comeback, it would be good enough for me. It turned
out to be a glorious moment. The energy and response from the crowd welcoming me
back was very emotional and uplifting. I just completed a 40-city tour this past
year (2001), however I don't think I could do that again. It is too difficult to
try to maintain taking medicine, get enough rest, and eat the right foods while
out on the road. I do not totally want to retire from performing. I plan
to appear with the band occasionally. Now my second goal had been met, next was
to out myself.
I wanted to find a way to out myself in a positive and meaningful way. I began
communicating to various people I knew about how to do this, and while I was
doing this, my best friend of 22 years, Richard, passed away. I had told him to
get an HIV test, he finally went in February, then he died in July. Here I was
getting better, and he died senselessly. When my friend died, there was no
funeral, he was cremated. I had to be the one to call his employer and
break the news of his passing. I didn't want my life to end up like this. If I
was going to die, I was going to be the one to write my own obituary...I wanted
to say it while I was alive. I didn't want people to read in the paper
"Chuck Panozzo dies from complications of AIDS". It was through all of
this that I became involved with the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) and decided
that was the avenue I wanted to use to out myself.
At the HRC dinner, in front of 1000 guest, I announced that I was gay and HIV
positive. I had the support of family and friends that were present. My
aunt and uncle, my sister, her husband, a cousin, James Young, and other friends
were there for me. They all supported my choice and decision to do this. Having
a supportive family is very helpful. My proclamation that night is what I'm all
about. I think my decision to out myself now was the right time for me, had I
done it years ago, I would have had to quit the band. I could not have risked
being a possible reason for the band to fail, by announcing I was gay. I
couldn't have risked the careers of my partners because I was gay.
Another key thing to me getting better, was to change my attitude in the
beginning, face HIV/AIDS as an illness, instead of something terminal. This was
something I had to do personally, because some days are good, some are bad. You
really have to live one day at a time. I'm now taking time to discover who I am.
It will only make me a better person. I'm learning to relate better with social
interaction. I have also come to appreciate all of the people around me that
encouraged me. This is my life, I have to participate in it and take control.
Just because I'm gay, and don't fit the norm, doesn't mean people should write
me off.
My plans for the future are to be involved with the HRC and HIV/AIDS awareness
activities. I feel very strongly about HIV testing. I am adamant about "Gay
Rights" and I want to be sure laws are made and protected for all. There
will be no second-class citizens in this society. I want to record with
Styx, do a few shows every now and then. I want to live an unburdened
life, free from a lot of stress. If I can stare death in the face, the
little comments and small attitudes don't bother me. No one should be on their
deathbed with regrets. I have seen that too many times. I now have to continue
my journey to find out what I am about.
I am not a hero by any means, the real heroes are the researchers who have
dedicated their lives to finding treatments that work. The easier they make the
protocols, the more people will benefit. World government has not done a very
good job, so it will be important that we remain vigilant to the cause. The cost
of treatment can be very high, and making treatment available to all is a key
factor. We have to make sure things are not being ignored. As long as there are
researchers out there and great docs to carry the flag we will prevail.
My wish is to inspire others, gay or straight, to live a proud just life.
If I can inspire just one person to follow their bliss, I guarantee it will fill
their soul and set their spirit free.
http://www.chuckpanozzosplace.com
http://www.chuckpanozzo.com
http://www.chuckpanozzosblog.com
**Information Via Wikipedia**
