Basic Saint Bernard Anatomy
From
All About the Saint Bernard
By
Rachel Beaver
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(The Funny Side)
Item 1- Sensory Organ reacts fast to the rattle of food dish.
Item 2 - Sensory Organ reacts fast to unguarded steaks.
Item 3 - Cleaning Device for Children's faces.
Item 4 - Sharp Objects for converting fine furniture and shoes into junk.
Item 5 - Audio Amplifier most effective after midnight, may also act as an alarm.
Item 6 - Excavating Tools used to uproot plants burying bones and car keys.
Item 7 - Pure Gold.
Item 8 - Hairy Covering, also found on rugs, under chairs, in tea and on dark suits.
Item 9 - Cast Iron Receptacle for plastic toys, stones and bones. (In town this part must be
taken out regularly).
Item 10 - Signal Device for dusting off furniture, ashtrays, ornaments and vases from low
tables.
Item 11 - Lifting Device activated by lampposts and trouser legs.
Item 12 - Speed Device 1st - answering commands - 2nd - normal activities - 3rd - following
rabbits, cats and food - reverse - going to the Vet or Bath time.
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