She poked her head in the door and smiled, “Get up! Your dress clothes have been washed and pressed, and Breakfast is waiting downstairs.”
I gave her a pleading look, the last thing I wanted to do was go to Church. There would be too many questions I didn’t want to answer, and seeing Libby’s Mom and sister would be too much to handle that morning. “Mom, can’t I stay home? Please, I really don’t want to have to sit through church today.”
She raised her eyebrow at me; “Fine then, you don’t have to sit through church today.” She turned and I thought I was home free. But just as she was about to walk away she spun on her heel, “You can stand. Get up now. It’s Sunday Zac and that’s means that it’s the day that God rested and the day that we go to worship and praise Him. You can’t get out of Church unless you’re incredibly ill in this family and you know it. You may be living in New York City and 20 years old but as long as you’re under this roof, you will stick to the rules: Clean up after yourself, Only Ten Minutes in the shower, Be polite, say your prayers and grace, and go to church on Sundays.”
I sighed and played with my comforter, “Can’t I go tomorrow? It will still be worshiping God.”
She crossed her arms and leaned against the door, “What do you think God would have done if Jesus told him that he’d die for our sins tomorrow? Hmm? Get up now!” She smiled and went back down stairs, and I flopped back down on my bed a groaned.
***
When we walked into the church memories came flooding at me like a Tidal Wave. Ironically enough, this was the place I first met Libby. Her Mom Jane and sister Maggie and herself had just moved to Tulsa and were being welcomed into the church family. I had been standing in the lobby talking to a friend when I turned around and saw her. Her magnificent curls were flowing loosely down her back, and she had this bright smile I couldn’t take my eyes away from. I was 12, and for the first time in my life was rendered speechless.
Now, eight years later I stood there looking around me finding myself feeling alone and lost in a place that should have been the most familiar in Tulsa. Someone tapped my shoulder and I whipped around almost expecting Libby to be standing behind me. When I saw that it was only Jess, my heart dropped to my toes. “Well, now I know where I stand in your life, you look like your Best Friend just died.”
I smiled, “Sorry, it’s just that there are so many memories here. You know what I mean?”
She gave me a weird look, “You mean like Baptisms, Confirmations, Christmas and Easter services? Or like Sunday school and Youth Groups?”
I shook my head, “No, I meant that this place was where my social life happened. I didn’t have a school where I could make friends like you did. I made them here.”
She nodded, and looked at me with questioning eyes, “Are you ok? You still haven't told me why you're home."
I smiled, "Can't I just come home once in a while to visit? Oh wait, have I been cast out of the family because I moved to New York the city of Sin?"
She rolled her eyes, "Yes Zac that's it. We never want to have anything to do with you ever again." She paused, "I'm just worried about you. But anyway, we can talk later. Mom wanted me to come and get you. We're sitting down now.”
I nodded, and followed her into the Sanctuary to our pew and sat down beside Mac. He was busy reading his Bible and hardly noticed me. I nudged his arm, “What are you reading?”
He looked up at me, “What’s it look like?" He paused and smiled at me "I actually have something to tell you."
I nodded, "Ok. What's up?"
He put a bookmark in his spot and set his Bible beside him, "Um, I've been talking to Pastor Mike a lot lately, and I've decided that I want to be a Youth Pastor."
I grinned at him; the one that everyone said was like me turned out to be someone completely unlike me. But I respected his decision; it took courage to do something like that. “Good, I like the sound of that, it makes me proud to call you my brother.”
He smiled at me, “I’m proud of you too. I always have been.” That really took me by surprise. The band ran the first eight years of Mack’s life. He didn’t get the chance to experience Kindergarten, or a lot of public school, and he had a hard time dealing with all of the teasing he received from the kids once he did start school because he was our brother. And yet through it all he was now thirteen and actually proud of me? Not only that, he knew that he was going to be a Pastor? That was amazing. A lot of people would say that at thirteen he was still young, and would probably change his mind, but he was a Hanson. Once a Hanson made up their mind about something they rarely changed it.
Before I could say anything else, the service started and once again my mind drifted back to Libby. I don’t know why, but being in our church really had a way of bringing everything back to me.
Once the service was finished, as always we went over to Grandma Bea’s for lunch. I hadn’t seen her yet (I had only been back for two days), and she hadn’t been in church because she was looking after a friend of hers who was sick. When we got there, she threw her arms around me in a tight hug, “Zachary Walker Hanson! What on Earth are you doing home? And why aren’t your Brothers with you?”
I smiled at her, “It’s good to see you Grams. I just decided I needed a break, that's all.”
She chastised me about working too hard, and said that the next time I decided to do this that I should convince Isaac, Taylor, Megan, and Libby to join me.
The two of us sat down together and talked about everything under the sun from politics (which is a bad idea with her; your opinion never gets heard) to whether or not the Dodgers were going to have a good season that year.
I helped cook the food, and rounded up Jess, Avery, Mac and Zoë to help with the dishes once we were finished eating. Life wasn’t as complicated at Grandma Bea’s house, and that’s the way I liked it. If a New Yorker spent one week there they probably wouldn’t want to leave. They’d be so relaxed and at peace that New York would seem like Hell to them.
Later on, we were sitting in the back yard talking while Fireflies danced around us. The air was warm, and we were all thankful for the cool breeze that was blowing around us. Soon I found myself once again drifting off in my own little world.
(Five Years Earlier)
It was just before we left for the This Time Around Tour, and Libby and I were sitting in the old Tree House talking about how we were going to keep in touch while I was gone (She didn’t live far from our old house, and we would go there to get away from everyone else in our lives). She was sitting between my legs and I had my arms wrapped tightly around her. “I’m really gonna miss you Zac.”
I sighed and leaned my head against the wall, “Yeah me too, but we’ll keep in touch. It’s not like it’s forever, just… oh six months at the most.” She nudged me in the stomach, “Ok, so it’s a long time but we’ll survive. It’s not like it’s the first time we’ve had to go through this you know.”
She put her head on my shoulder and played with my hands, “Yeah I know but this is a little different.”
I frowned, “How so? I don’t see anything different about it. I mean the only thing I can think of is that we’ve got Michelle Branch on the first half of the tour and M2M doing the second half, that’s all.”
She wiggled out of my grasp and turned to face me, “Ok, so I don’t normally do this but I’m going to cause if I don’t, I don’t think I ever will and then I’ll be making a big mistake and that wouldn’t be good cause I’d never forgive myself and…”
I laughed and cut her off, “Lib, you’re nattering again. Just cut to the chase, what is it?”
She fumbled with her hands, “I really care about you. I mean not in the Best Friend kind of way. And don’t you dare tell me that at 16 I don’t know what I’m talking about because I do.”
I swallowed hard; I was blown away. “Uh… Lib, I…” I looked deep in her eyes; I felt the same way, she had been my world for so long; I just hadn't had the courage to tell her. “I know how you feel… um,” I didn’t want to use the ‘L’ word… it wasn’t right… then it came to me and I grinned, “You Twiterpate me.”
She laughed, “Twiterpate? Like from Bambi?”
I nodded, “Yeah, like from Bambi. Twiterpate. It’s the best word to use when you don’t just like a person but Love is too strong.”
She smiled, “Then Zachary Walker Hanson, you Twiterpate me too.” She sucked in a big breath, “Ok will you promise me something?” I nodded, “Promise me that we can try the two of us together when you get back.”
I grinned, “Why not try us together now?”
She shrugged, “I don’t need to miss you more than I will already, and I know I would.”
I smiled and pulled her into a hug, “I can’t kiss you then. I won’t kiss you until you are mine and if you won’t be mine until I get back then I can’t kiss you now.”
Her face went beat red and I laughed, “You’ll survive I guess.”…
But I didn’t survive. For the first half of the tour, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. The feelings that were mulling around inside were very different, and it scared me. Once M2M was with us, and we had added extra dates on to the tour I was beside myself. Marion and I had become pretty close and I felt that I needed to make sure that Libby was only a friend. So, when I realized that I had feelings for Marion, I acted on them right away. That’s how I lost Libby the first time. She was hurt that I had broken my promise, but she said she understood and went on just being the Best Friend she always had been.
The second time came after Marion and I broke up. I pretended that I still only liked Libby as a friend and the next thing I new, I was walking in on her and Taylor kissing on the back porch of our house. I pretended I was fine with it because I knew that there wasn't anything I could do about it.
(Present Day)
Suddenly, Grandma Bea interrupted my thoughts; “Zac, have you been in your own world this whole time?”
I looked around me; everyone was staring at me funny. I cleared my throat, “Sorry Grandma." I paused, trying to get away from the questioning eyes, "Uh, I need a drink of water. I’ll be right back.”
Getting up, I went into the Kitchen and poured a glass of water from the cooler. Leaning over the sink, I gulped it down. I didn’t think about it until then but if I hadn’t been a Dick Head hooking up with Marion and falling for her then I might have been as happy as a baked clam at that very moment. Then again, I could have lost an amazing friend in my life, although she really wasn’t much of a friend at the moment.
I set the glass in the sink and leaned over it to try and clear my mind. “Where’s the man gone that I saw get on the plane four months ago?”
I shook my head, “You don’t want to know Grams. He’s trapped in a problem he caused for himself, and now he doesn’t think he’ll make it out alive.”
She put her hand on my shoulder, “Libby is a very special person Zac." I looked up at her shocked. How did she know? "Isaac called me three days ago and told me what was going on. He figured that maybe I could help you out once you got here. Come sit down with me; I may be an Old Bitty, but I might have a little bit of wisdom left in me to give.” I smiled weakly and followed her to the Kitchen table; I was going to have to remember to thank Ike when I got home.