Special Features
The following poem comes from a dusty tome off the back shelf of the library of highly cultured books at the M-P-S-F-T-P-O-C-A-P-O-B-F. This poem by an anonymous writer probably was composed some time before noon, during an epoch when human sensibilities had once again turned toward physiognomy and facial characteristics, as well as missing or displaced persons, resulting in crucial concerns which were evident in the written expression of some of our finest minds. Notice how this poem, while written during the junction of jovial juxtaposition, speaks to us in timeless metaphors and ageless concepts in such a fashion as to bring a moment of lucidity in the midst of the complex and often confusing contemporary world, as it transports us back to basic verities that speak of the very essence of the human condition.
There was a young lady of Kent,
Whose nose was most awfully bent.
One day, I suppose,
She followed her nose,
For no one knows which way she went.
From the outer limits to the inner sanctum, from the twilight zone to the no parking zone, and from here to there, welcome to la-la land and everything in between. On the basis of well-snorted tea leaves, enumerated taro cards, and a brief purview of the 1927 ephemeris, the following astrological forecast is applicable to all within hearing distance.
The moon has transmorgrified the drinking gourd, elsewhere known as the big dipper, or the big bopper, or something like that. The southern cross is visible only in the north-eastern hemisphere. Saggitarius has blown his horn, while Lena Horn has sung "Stardust Gets In My Eyes When The Moon Is Over Miami, or My Backyard." Those of you having sun signs, moon signs, earth signs, water signs, and no parking signs should remember that it is better to give than to lend, which costs about the same.
For those of you who are less familiar with astrological terminology, this forecast indicates that, if you've already gone outside today, it's probably better to stay outside, and you might consider putting up a tent or building a stone hut.