From fertilizer overdose to hacky sack hell, chipmunks are exterminating themselves at an alarming rate!

Psycho Squirrels top ten chipmunk suicide methods
10. the cat (the 2-hour torture, "i've been a bad chipmunk" way)
9.  electrocution (the blood boiling method)
8. listening to the Spice Girls (death by piercing voices, and grotesque faces)
7. dog fart gas chamber (the death by odor )
6. human foot squashing (the crunch method)
5. hacky sack hell (the bone jolting fix)
4. jumping into a pool (the stuggling way)
3. fertilizer poisoning (the barfing way)
2. running out in front of big truck  (the quick way)
1. carbon monoxide poisoning (the easy way out)

Are you ready to see the dead chipmunks?
 

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I didn't do it!
 

1. One sunny day I was at the grocery store, while I was going back to my makeshift Supra, I saw a chipmunk hanging out of some white car's exhaust pipe, it was dead on the scene.  Luckly, I had my camera and took a picture, after I did that I tried giving the little munk some mouth to mouth but he just wouldn't come around...

2.  I was walking the dog one sunny day, and in the yard, there lay a little chipmunk.  I tried to pet it, but I discovered it was dead.  After washing my hands, I got my camera.  Wow, two dead chipmunks in one week, strange.  After that I concluded that the death was by fertilizer poisoning, or it could have been a victim of the bloodthirsty cat.

3.  Here you see a young hoodlum playing hacky sack with a chipmunk.  As I arrived on the scene to take photos and question the perpatrator, he stated that the chipmunk was dead before he started playing hacky sack with it.

4.  Now I wouldn't have believed the hoodlum above, if I hadn't been hiding in the bushes taking this undercover photo, here.  He was telling the truth, the squirrel was dead before he started playing hacky sack with it.  Yes, he killed this chipmunk by human foot squashing.  After I interrogated the suspect he said that the chipmunk begged him to do it, but I have yet to believe that crock of crap.  I've heard squirrels talk, but never chipmunks.

5.  This poor little chipmunk here wanted to do the pool method, but had no pool.  I believe that somehow the squirrel got on top of the roof, and drowned himself in the gutter.  When a heavy rain came, he was washed down the pipe into the drainage ditch, where I found him/her the next morning.

6. I'm not sure what to call this disturbing chipmunk suicide, but it is definently some sort of hanging.  I believe that by the chipmunk's positioning that a dog chased it up a fence, and the chipmunk realizing it could not escape, hung himself in a suicidal frenzy.

 

   Odd things do happen, but 6 dead chipmunks in the course of a few months is disturbing.  I sometimes wonder if I am a magnet for dead chipmunks, or if some prankster keeps putting dead chipmunks in my yard.  In conclusion this mass chipmunk suicide must stop!  I am tired of wasting my film on dead chipmunks, and I cannot bear the site of another dear chipmunk dead.
    You may ask why I publish such sick things on my website, but I feel that these chipmunks need help.  If you see a suicidal chipmunk, please help them or give them the toll free number below.

                                                                          1   1-800-Ded-Munk
                                                                     Stop the chipmunk insanity!
 

"Sanity never came my way, sanity never came my way, I don't know what I'm doing today, cause sanity never came my way." -Phish, in relation to suicidal chipmunks.