Armstrong, Neil
Here, collected from a backlog of e-mails, in the order they arrived, is a sampling of just what we're talking about in the above quote (from the Svelte-English Dictionary). There is the odd time when someone other than Neil Armstrong decides to contribute a quote. You'll just have to deal with these. We give you fair warning that some of most of the quotes on this page will make little or no sense. Some of them you may also find quite offensive. For us this is part of their charm. It's not our problem if you're sensitive.
WARNING: The following material is not suited for children, sensitive viewers or good people.... You've been warned, so please don't bother contacting us if you find this in bad taste - we KNOW it is bad taste.
"Go lick yourself in the ass." - Neil Armstrong
"I'd die for free studio time." - Neil Armstrong
"I never exceeded the speed limit on the Apollo 14. Speeding is wrong." - Neil Armstrong
"Professional recording studios are fine as long as they don't cause your death." - Neil Armstrong
"Thank the Lord for Lunar Eclipses!" - Neil Armstrong
"Let's sell our souls to capitalist pigs." -Neil Armstrong
"Coke is better than Pepsi." - John Wayne
"Let's do it baby. Remove your clothes." - Vincent Price in 'Ben Hur'
"This world would rock a lot if a good band came out to some youth driving thing and blew them away with their cool sound." - Neil Armstrong
"Share and Enjoy" - Neil Armstrong's proposed name for the next Svelte album.
"You don't find many hookers on the way to the moon." - My man Neil Armstrong
"I think that one of our videos should be made as a Japanese animation flick, perhaps Ananya or Aufbau (formerly known as Puzzle)(Aufbau is German for 'building up', it makes more sense than Puzzle)" - Neil Armstrong on his thoughts about Apollo 11 film footage.
"Hey, whatever happened to those robots with the KICK-ASS intelligence?" - Neil Armstrong
"Boy, I sure could have used 7 or 8 songs of RECORDED ROCK MUSIC on the way to the moon. That would have made the trip go by a lot faster." - Neil Armstrong on things that would have made the trip go by a lot faster.
Transcript from 60 Minutes:
"Boy, am I sure glad I wrote a prompt, 500-word reply to NASA. If I had waited any longer, I'm sure they would have given the job to someone else." - Neil Armstrong
"Good thing I gave NASA a list of times I would be available, otherwise I might never have been chosen to go to the moon." - Neil Armstrong on reasons he was chosen to go to the moon.
"I am a firm believer in Jesus." - God
"God, I wish I had had a Manager. After that one mission to the moon I had people calling me left, right, and centre wanting to book me for 'flights'. It all got so overwhelming that I eventually retreated here to Brazil, where for some reason nobody could find me." - Neil Armstrong, in hiding under an abandoned military base in Rio de Janiero.
"What happened to the good old days when a regular old joe like me could just go outside and feast on some goat testicles?" - Ernest Hemingway (painfully comparing the pros and cons of life, ultimately leading to his tragic suicide.)
"Suck my quack." - Neil Armstrong's understanding of duck mating calls.
"The greatest thing about the First and Second World War is that it showed without a doubt that Germans can kill a lot of people in a VERY short amount of time. I think that's pretty cool. So my advice to the kids of today is to be careful around any German." - Neil Armstrong, dispensing advice to young children.
"MY upcoming life? Shit, I hate these questions... well, I'd have to say... oh fuck, my upcoming life is probably, like, a lot of fucking good beer and shit like that. I haven't been up to much ever since I got back from the moon." - Neil Armstrong, when asked about his upcoming life.
"Why does meat taste so good? - Ghandi
"The great thing about being a geologist is you get to sniff rocks and stuff. Like slate. Slate is really good to sniff. It's like potpourri, I guess, for the geologist." - Werner Von Braun, developer of the V2 rocket.
"Good luck to Svelte on their first club show ever. Why is that Martin guy so worried?" - JFK, moments before his assassination.
"Hey, who's eating cheese? Someone's F**king eating cheese and I'll rip their F**kin' nuts off if I find out who it is... F**K!" - Neil Armstrong on a "harsh" drug trip hours before the Apollo 11 mission.
"Um, I would have to say the most memorable part of all the Apollo missions was when we went pee-pee and poo-poo.... I guess the fact we were the first humans on the moon was pretty memorable too, but the pee-pee and poo-poo was real keen...." - Neil Armstrong
"Hello to your family." - Neil Armstrong
"Sometimes, in space, you lose track of when it's day or night. Like sometimes in the middle of the day I'd tell Buzz Aldrin 'good night' and he'd just give me these funny looks. It's just a hunch but I have a feeling he was getting a little bit sick of me." - Neil Armstrong
"Oliver...? You mean Oliver Roenitz!? WOW and DOUBLE WOW! That guy is so crazy fine! YES!!" - Neil Armstrong, slightly delusional.
"Oli kicks some harsh ass...." - Neil Armstrong
"Hey, how's this for a short story? A guy can't sell his blood 'cause he's got hepatitis, but he can't afford hepatitis medicine unless he sells his blood, so he poses nude in art classes.... Plus, one time he did it with a dead guy." - Terence Maddox
"Buzz Aldrin was a good co-pilot. Once we played poker in the spaceship. I think he let me win." - Neil Armstrong
"Wake up in the morning, feeling shy and lonely. Gee, I got to go to school." - Neil Armstrong
"I remember once in 1967 sometime, NASA called me up and asked me if it was possible for me to be present for the launching of Apollo 17. I thought it over, because it sounded pretty rad, but the NASA people hadn't done their homework. You see, their public relations department had me scheduled to appear at the opening of a mall in New Jersey. That was at 8pm. But the lift off was to take place at 7pm. What a predicament, I thought. But I told NASA I'd be there for the lift off. I don't know why they always ask me. Buzz always tells me he's so bored..." - Neil Armstrong
"When people just walk up to the drive-thru speaker and start ordering, I can never tell if they're joking, know what I mean?" - Neil Armstrong
"Meesuh Jah-Jah Binks." - Neil Armstrong
"The Vengabus is coming." -Neil Armstrong
"Dauphin? Where the hell is Dauphin?" - Neil Armstrong
"Here I am, rock you like a hurricane" - Neil Diamond
"Bongo bongo bongo, I don't want to leave the congo, oh no no no no no." - Neil Armstrong
"I'm getting used to flying with Jackson." - Neil Armstrong
"The people you can count on the most are those who wear t-shirts with numbers on them." - Neil Armstrong in Mr. Lipschultz's grade 4 pun excercise class
"Damn, I'm drunk." - Neil Armstrong, celebrating after the return home.
"I'm Kirk Cameron, your host for 'The Secrets of the Back to the Future Trilogy'." - Neil Armstrong
"But let me warn you, Fry: if you so much as glance at another woman, I'll be all over Leela like a fly on a VERY seductive pile of manure." - Zap Branagan
"There's this little place on the moon, where these little elves make CDs for you for free. Not many people know about it, but I've mastered the elven dialect and befriended them. They were more than pleased to make me 1000 copies of Gordon Lightfoot's greatest hits for not a penny. That's why I love going to the moon." - Neil Armstrong on why he loves going to the moon.
"Holy shit! Where did my dick go?" - Neil Armstrong
"Don't quote me." - Neil Armstrong, caught in the most ironic of moments.
"...Hey! you touch my car one more time and I'm coming down there!.... That's it, you little shits!.... I'm serious - I'll beat you!" - Neil Armstrong at home in Virginia.
"My favourite part of the Indiana Jones trilogy is when Rodney Dangerfield is coaching that really bad girls soccer team, and he gets Indiana to put on a wig and join the team. I laughed my ass off." - Neil Armstrong
"Java applets are maybe even better than deep-space anti-gravity blowjobs from Buzz Aldrin! Maybe!" - Neil Armstrong
"Sometimes people ask me if Buzz and I ever hang out together now that the Apollo program is over. I usually just give a polite response, and claim that we see each other on the odd occasion. However, that's not entirely true. You see, due to bad planning on the part of NASA, we unfortunately had to leave Buzz behind on the last lunar landing. We all promised to send someone to pick him up as soon as possible, and we left him with a deck of cards and the last two Coffee Crisp bars. Well, we got back to earth, and I guess in the craziness of everything we forgot to tell someone that Buzz was still on the moon. A few weeks later I was baking some scones, when I remembered Buzz's whereabouts, and wasn't quite sure what to do. I was basically out of luck, because NASA had decided not to send any more missions to the moon... so, there was really nothing I could do. I was pretty sad for a while, and when his wife kept calling asking about him, I just pretended not to know who she was talking about. I ended up screwing her after a couple of months anyways, so I guess that all worked out pretty sweet. I suppose the moral of this whole situation is Buzz just should have kept his fat ass out of the space program." - Neil Armstrong in a candid press meeting, at his Virginia home last month.
"There's not much use for a corkscrew after your wine's been smashed by a semi-crazed fascist park ranger who's ramblin' on about 'jumping girls' frames'. And I thought the fuckin' MOON was crazy!" - Neil Armstrong, commenting blithely on his recent camping trip.
"Who is Buzz Aldrin?" - Neil Armstrong on "Jeopardy", responding to the solution "He was the most romantic lover of all time." Neil followed this obviously incorrect response with the utterance, "oh shit. I'm busted."
"It just takes too long to take the damn condom out of the box, unwrap it, and unroll it. By the time it's on, the donkey's already wandered out of frame, and you have to adjust the video camera... not to mention the lighting and the puppies." - Neil Armstrong in the only sex education class he's ever taught.
"I remember back at NASA ground school we always had to sit in alphabetical order. And there was always this fat kid, Aldrin, in front of me. We used to make fun of him 'cause he was pretty fat and all, and he'd call out all the answers and still have time to pick his nose in class. Well, nobody really liked him much and we never associated with him. I spent years sitting behind him without us ever saying a word to each other. But then one day in '67, he turned around and his eyes were all sparkly, and he very softly asked 'would you like to go to the moon with me?' Ever since then I've been in love with Buzz. Oh shit, is my wife watching this?" - Neil Armstrong in a candid response on "Pamela Wallin Live".
"I've never been good with money. Mine all goes to my whore of a wife, anyways." - Neil Armstrong, on finances.
"It seems like just yesterday I was on the moon... [pause] ...oh shit, who am I kidding? I'm dangerously close to death." - Neil Armstrong, dealing with the terms of his mortality.
"Once, I broke into some guy's Hotmail account. It was pretty funny for like, an hour." - Neil Armstrong, a man of many talents.
"Je ne sais pas, je ne sais pas, je ne sais pas. Pose-moi une autre question." - Jean Chretien absent-mindedly quoting children's folk songs at a press conference in Quebec City.
"Who the heck does this guy think he is? I mean he changes passwords more often than his underwear. It's not like I went around every day changing the locks on the lunar lander. Buzz would have gone nuts.... Actually, come to think of it, I did change the locks on the lander... several times.... And that's actually part of the reason Buzz got left on the moon. Hum, makes you think, doesn't it?" - Neil Armstrong, referring to Gary Russell's extra-curricular activities and laundry.
"Going to the moon. Yeah, it was great. I mean, what a buzz. Believe me, I've tried every drug there is, and while they've all given me quite a buzz, there's no buzz quite like going to the moon. I remember the night before we took off for the moon, I couldn't get to sleep. Mind you, that was partly because there was a bee in my room and he was buzzing and buzzing and buzzing. Oh, shit." - Neil Armstrong, suddenly realizing that he accidentally left something on the moon.
A transcript of a telephone conversation 99/11/03 @ 1730:
"Svelte will go to heaven for doing the world good with their awesome rock and roll! Ai-chi-ma-ma! Send these boys to heaven!" - Neil Armstrong, drunk at Shindig, November 23, 1999.
"Gary is so gay." - Neil Armstrong: homophobe.
"If Gary keeps putting those stupid smiles on his Emails, I'm going to lose it!" - Neil Armstrong, hating Gary as usual.
"Who the fuck does this guy think he is?" - Neil Armstrong
"I've said it once and I'll say it again. Does he have nothing better to do?" - Neil Armstrong
"Guide me O thou Great Jehovah... My ass hurts from fucking." - Neil Armstrong. A quote he clarified with, "Fucking guys, that is."
"Drrabfl, kermotti! Harp daarb - harp gaarb! Gaarb!" - Neil Armstrong communicating with the elves on the moon. This passage translates roughly as "Sweet Moses, the titties on this here moon are in-credible!"
"Buzz, you're not a fucking Jew, are you?" - a very derogatory question asked by Neil Armstrong a few days into the Apollo mission, when he found Buzz was getting on his nerves and sought a reason for it.
"I (heart) the moon" - Neil Armstrong
"Depressing? Let me tell you about depressing. The other day I tried to sneak a look at my dick, and I couldn't even see it because I have this huge gut that sits in the way now. That's depressing." - Neil Armstrong
"Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite, and Buzz, don't fuck me in the ass again." - Neil Armstrong, courtesy of Daniel Brummel of Ozma.
"Let us sell some fucking CDs fellas."- Neil "Crazy Ass" Armstrong
"So in your Christmas prayers this year, Alfie asked me if I'd ask you. Say a prayer for the wind, and the water, and the wood, and those who live there too." - John Denver and the Muppets
"What the hell? I mean, it's not like they just 'forgot' to shut off the Apollo machine! It's not like 49 extra 'Apollos' just came moseying on out of the plant! I don't know who would have been able to pay for that... the Russians, maybe?" - Neil Armstrong on the state of spacecraft construction in 1968.
"Give my regards to Buzzway." - The Neil Armstrong Singers
"I love Gary. In fact..." - Neil Armstrong (as he ran off, yelling something about a wedding)
"Jesus Christ, it's times like these when i realize the amount of high-school algebra that has just gone straight up my ass. And the amount of dick, too." - Neil Armstrong on accounting.
"I miss Mark." - Neil Armstrong, thousands of miles from Earth, a talented drummer, and a gentle friend.
"I'll take two pitchers of beer and one giant lapdance for mankind." - Neil Armstrong, barfly
"Luckily, you don't need a visa to get to the moon." - Neil Armstrong
"Buzz... I'm beginning to like him a lot. Not that I'm gay." - Neil Armstrong, writing in his diary, day 1 of the Apollo mission.
"You get very cold and lonely in space. There's one Valentine's Day I hold close to my heart. Buzz and I were on the shuttle and I jettisoned a bunch of fuel and told Buzz, 'Oops, I think we're out of gas. We better make ourselves more comfortable,' and I did that yawning thing where you put your arm around the one you love. But he was all like, 'we gotta fix that' and 'we're gonna die'. In the end we survived and wound up just sorta making out. It cost NASA hundreds of millions of dollars." - Neil Armstrong
"Gary is kind of a bummer, isn't he?" - Neil Diamond
"That's okay, I don't take things from people this side of Alberta." - Chris Murphy, when offered a piece of gum by our own Gary Russell.
"I found this one to be un peu oaky for my tastes, although the aroma was heavy and pungente and la température slightly too warm." - Wine connoisseur Néalle Armstronge.
"He says he's got more on the way, but more what? Nothing, THAT'S WHAT! Fuck...." - Neil Armstrong in response to Buzz's apparent inability to bear Neil's children.
"Das a 1 sma step 4 a man, an' a 1 gian' leap 4 mankahn, y'all. Y'hear?" - Lauren Hill-Armstrong
"Uh, well, this sucks." - Neil Armstrong
"I barely say anything anymore." - Neil Armstrong
"Are you gonna let that bitch talk to you like that?" - Neil Armstrong
"My favourite kind of Cherry Pepsi is WILD Cherry Pepsi." - Neil Armstrong
"Kweeoosh!" - Neil Armstrong pretending to launch
"Buzz! Dammit! Get the fuck out of the can!" - Neil Armstrong, manifesting the trials and tribulations of being on board a spacecraft with one washroom and a lot of bran.
I think "Neil Armstrong and the Moonstrikers" said it best with their
unforgettable hit: "Who Needs a Train out in the Infinite, Desolate Void?
Fuckers."
"Yellow-bellied, green-eyed Jap." - Neil Armstrong
"Why won't this light, dammit?" - Neil Armstrong attempting to spark a joint on the moon.
"Internet on cable fuckin' cooks!" - Neil Armstrong
"Most people don't realize that the Moon's atmosphere actually stinks like hell. You might think that a rock in the middle of a vaccuum would be odorless, but in fact the Moon reeks so badly of fried chicken that I couldn't stand it. After like twenty minutes, I said to Buzz, 'that's it, let's get out of here,' and we went home." - Neil Armstrong
"Unh! Who's the moonwalker! Who's the moonwalker! Say it Buzz! Unh! Yes! Unh! Yes! I'm your fuckin' moonwalker, that's who! Unh! Yes!" - Neil Armstrong caught with his pants down.
"Mary-Kate is cuter than Ashley." - Neil Armstrong
"Remember the days in the band before this frickin' idealistic upstart drummer? I swear, you'd think the guy had no experience whatsoever! The drummers from the sixties weren't like this dammit!! Ah, shit... head rush...." - Neil Armstrong
"Non non non, c'est pas comme ça qu'on fait l'amour. Regardes les chinois." - Neil Armstrong
"Deux J.E.'s? Mon Dieu! C'est vraiment hallucinigée!! Toute le monde desous mes jambes, c'est froides, mais pas trop mal. Très bizarre...." - Neil Armstrong exploiting his limited French, unsure of his syntax and grammar, yet uncaring in the face of his subsequent death.
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." - A congressional candidate in Texas.
"For a short while, they changed the name of the moon to 'Patrick,' and then some random girl wrote and said she had always liked the name 'Moon' better. And everybody admitted - even the guy who had named it 'Patrick' - that 'Moon' was much better. So they changed it back. Of course, that was in 1944, when a lot of other awful shit was going down, so nobody really noticed." - Neil Armstrong
"I'm leaving the band." - Neil Armstrong
"Dear God, you've got rock shows coming out of your every orifice. You're a fucking freak." - Neil Armstrong performing an autopsy on Martin.
"Throw?" - Neil Armstrong
"Catch!" - Buzz Aldrin
"Man, Neil, have you ever noticed how when you're drunk EVerything sounds good?" - Buzz Aldrin
"Just move the frickin' lunar landing one day later, nobody's even watching." - Neil, trying to score one extra day in a lonely space capsule with Buzz.
"Didn't we use to have 5 guys on this mission? What happened to our engineer Russell Grayson and the navigator Shum Davidson, who were with us when w----hey Buzz, where the hell does this airlock door lead?" - Neil Armstrong, PhD
"Oh yeah? Anything? How about a big cock in the mouth, huh??" - Neil Armstrong: Bastard
"My mother was from Hokkaido." - Neil Armstrong when asked what he thought about the relations between Japan and America after the war.
"I once wrote two songs on the same mission. One of them was about how long space travel was, and the other was about the same thing." - Neil Armstrong
"Those fuckers at the UN got the millennium all wrong! There's no year Zero! Just like they screwed me over on those elementary school tours." - Neil Armstrong, out of a job.
"I of course, though, count in Lightyears. BUZZ Lightyears, that is.... I'm waiting for you, my love!" - Neil Armstrong, patiently waiting for the second coming of Buzz.
Excerpt from a recorded conversation between Neil Armstrong and a Moon Elf (translated below with the help of Sean Connery, a good friend):
English text:
"This guy MUST live in Abbotsford." - Neil Armstrong
"Heavenly body? I'll show YOU heavenly body." - Neil Armstrong in astronomy class, suddenly trying to pick up girls.
"Sorry Buzz, I didn't mean to jump on you like that, it's this no-gravity thing, it's fucking me all up." - Neil Armstrong, moonwalking.
"Once I spent my entire paycheck on a Lego model of the lunar lander. I didn't eat for two weeks, but in a touching, FOX-network way...." - Neil Armstrong
"... Sure I miss Buzz... but mostly his ass." - Neil Armstrong
"Just hold my pipe, officer." - Robert Downey Jr.
"When you look at a woman with lust in your heart, truly I tell you, you
have committed adultery before your Father in heaven." - Peter Reinhardt,
in bible study.
"If you're gonna swear, swear in church." - Neil Armstrong
"I hate getting sued for defamation of character. Like, this one time,
I quoted this guy for years and years, but they were all misquotes, and
could be considered slanderous and degrading. Then I prayed for
forgiveness, and only got half my ass sued off." - Neil Armstrong
"I'm hard core down to my feet. And to get to my car, I built a Lego
street, and all the people I meet and greet skip a beat, seein' my masta
bedroom wit my Lego ensuite!" - MCArmstrong
"NASA's number is (731)-483-3111. They made me memorize it in case I got lost." - Neil Armstrong
"There is no such thing as right and wrong. I made it all up." - Neil Armstrong
"Who the fuck writes this shit?" - Neil Armstrong proof-reading Gary's
emails
"Yeah, we had a little Christmas tree on the spaceship, since it was that
time of year. The tree just kind of floated around due to lack of gravity,
so it was hard to put things 'under' it. Anyway, I gave Buzz a little
handheld massage tool, and he came out of his cabin dressed as "Astronaut
Santa," complete with a beard attached to his space helmet. He had
duct-taped some mistletoe to the roof of the spaceship. I took off his
helmet, and he looked pretty manly, and we necked for a lot of the night.
Except when ground control had to check on us, of course. But you might say
it was a special Christmas, yeah." - Neil Armstrong
"Peter." - Neil Armstrong
"Speak now or forever hold your piece!" - Neil Armstrong
The first man to walk on the moon. In the band's e-mails to each other, Svelte often sign off with some quote made up off the top of their heads. For some reason, these quotes are usually attributed to Neil
Armstrong, e.g. "Peace Out!" - Neil Armstrong. Neil would probably deny speaking any of these quotes.
Neil Armstrong Says...
[Neil Armstrong] "I used to want to be a Toys-R-Us kid. I always thought that would really make me stand out."
[Barbara Walters] "And how did that affect your growing up?"
[Neil Armstrong] "Well, then I got a job at Toys-R-Us when I was 19, and I found out that it was a sham. All the happy sales people were assholes and sluts... except for this guy called Dan, uh... he was alright. But my manager looked like someone from the future that I call 'Billy Corgan, singer from Smashing Pumpkins'."
Now, for the cool part:
Replace NASA with Svelte
Replace Apollo 17 with New Svelte with New Guitarist
Replace NASA public relations with Pond's Pool and Spa
Replace opening of a new mall in New Jersey with working at Pond's
[N=Neil Armstrong; G=Gary Russell]
N: "... Ah yes, hello, is this 535-9264?"
G: "It sure is..."
N: "Well, hello, ah - my name is Neil Armstrong, and I have a very special birthday wish for a certain Greg Russell!"
G: "...Ah, I think you mean Gary Russell..."
N: "Right, um, Gary - happy birthday, my friend!"
G: "Well, hey, thanks a lot, Neil! It's super to have you calling me on my birthday!"
N: "Yeah, right, no problem buddy... I'm a bit tight for cash, so I figured doing birthday telephone calls would help me make ends meet..."
G: "...Uh... okay?"
N: "So, Greg-"
G: "Gary!"
N: "Right, whatever, how old are you turning today?"
G: "I'm 20 today."
N: "Wow, that's great, I remember when I turned 20, It was the day I found out I had been accepted into the Air Force. It was the best day of my life. Well, that and getting to hump my wife's sister in her parent's bedroom..."
[A moment of awkward silence]
G: "Right, anyways..."
N: "Yeah, so, anyways, it says here you're a pilot. So, how does it feel to be talking to one of the pioneers of modern aviation?"
G: "Uh, I was always told the Wright brothers were the fathers of modern aviation."
N: "...Uh, okay, I guess you're right.... But, my missions to the moon furthered the human race, and ushered in the 21st century!"
G: "Neil, um, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but the lunar landings really haven't done much for society. I mean, we haven't even been back to the moon in almost thirty years.... So, like, I don't really know where you're coming from on that one...."
[A second awkward silence]
N: "...Listen up fuck-face, it's not really my pleasure to be sitting on the phone shooting the shit with some Canadian kid from the west coast, okay. I landed on the FUCKING MOON! I don't need this!"
G: "Don't call this number again please." [Dial tone]
N: "...shit."
"How does 'bend over' sound?" - Neil Armstrong
NA: ...hal aggrrainavarina nomosomo hoofla ma bi it ohnonono, treta nomeky ifle ple, Jesus Rumalosanofanowanohag.
ME: Chreeeeeo! Flit mak o inrit thishich, queer meeo queer!
NA: Asssen brregganada harb grib tab batto wa na pleeeka na dabb--er, assiuch dabb barrrrgggh asssinatio.
ME: Lifoga wannabe breeka leek oh konachess Aldrin Buzz, ourthiu Monkeyland. Ugh minb anb onb unb enb choa?
NA: Uh, leeea fla. Rech, noa mon kamb amb barg harb brrreewsh dreeoch? Dabb, dabb, reppleb alphina fino testosterone, estrogen, flika brinde Buzz. Er, assiuch monkey.
ME: C'est ton accent Americain. Sexman.
NA: ...and in conclusion I remind you all that I am three times bigger than any of you and therefore deserve the Moon Throne, as was predicted by your own prophet, Jesus Moonstar.
ME: You would be a ruthless dictator and be the death of us all, prophecy or no prophecy!
NA: I just want to be able to pick my bride without all the fuss of him--er, I mean her saying that she doesn't want me in return.
ME: I can see that you desire your companion, Buzz Aldrin, of Earth. You would rule over all the moon just to choose him as your bride?
NA: Uh, no you silly little elf. Besides, how can you tell what I really want? Him and her are meaningless in this androgenous elven society, and there is no separate masculine or feminine article to distinguish between elf and Buzz. Er, I mean, human.
ME: It's your American accent. Fucker.