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AUDREY HORNE :
NO HAY BANDA

All right, I give up, I have no fuckin' clue what this band is trying to do, or where they fit in (if anywhere) in the overall Rock n' Roll spectrum. I hereby give Audrey Horne Urotsukidoji's official "WTF" designation. ...First off, the name of this Norwegian act (ripped off from David Lynch's "Twin Peaks") screams Metalcore, but they really aren't. The sound is more reminiscent of Americanized EMO Punk and Alterna Rock. The band's look? Well, most of the dudes look kind of metalish, (which makes sense as reportedly this act features members of the Black-Metal elite, from both Gorgoroth and Enslaved!!!!!!), but the singer looks like he just stepped out of a Gluecifer photo shoot. Then there's the album title, "No Hay Banda", like, what the hell does that mean? ...Apparently it's another reference to David Lynch, this time to his over rated flick "Mullholland Drive". I guess aligning yourself with the works of Lynch (or shamelessly swinging from his wrinkled nut-sack) is supposed to give the band the same aura of mystique that surrounds much of the man's art. To me however, it just seems like a badly chosen gimmick, haphazardly pulled from an out-of-date bag o’ tricks, owned by a lazy PR rep. Then finally, the press release refers to the band as a Goth-Metal act?! Zuh? Did I miss something? Are we in bizarre-o-world or something? This website was initially built seven years ago around the promotion of Goth-Metal acts. If there's one genre I could be so bold as to call my self an expert on, Goth-Metal would be it. This is NOT Goth-Metal, in any way shape or form. Sure some of these songs are dark, but so are most of the songs and bands in today's world of Metal and Hard Rock. Plus, to top it off, I keep seeing these guys continually compared to both Faith No More and Finland's romantic/satanic gothers H.I.M. ...I'm a big fan of both those acts, and I just don't see it. I think the FNM comparison is due solely to the fact that some of the songs here are rather quirky, and the H.I.M. reference, I couldn't tell ya. The closest way I can think of to describe their sound is a cross between some whiney L.A. EMO band and the Foo Fighters. Now, getting to the actual songs, some are pretty good, but others are intolerably awkward, grating, and down right annoying. Tracks like "Dead" and "Get A Rope" are what fast-forward buttons were made for. But then they manage to get it right with cuts like "Listening" and "Deathhorse". In the end, it's all rather average, and highly forgettable. Plus, knowing the background of some of the members, it also reeks to high heaven of being a no-holds-barred "sell-out", and just plain "fake" on a grandiose scale. This is the kind of band I could see soulless rags like Spin and Rolling Stone getting behind in a big way... but not the "Pad". For more info, check out audreyhornemusic.com
RATING = 4 Alt-Rock (Released 2005)

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