PEyes

Innocent and young.
I look and search.
The eyes are cold, gray, glassy.

There is little love reflected only isolation.
The painful reflection of myself, staring, wanting, needing, met only with a blankness.

I take care of myself.

The gray, marbled eyes still there.

Finally, I look and warmth.
But it is not real.
This set of eyes reflects a warmth, fleeting, unpredicable, hurting.

Trust glimmers in this same set of eyes.
The innocent child responds,
only to be betrayed and hurt.

These eyes, hollow, black with emtiness.

These eyes are evil.
Monster's eyes.

These eyes reflect anxiety, hate, disgust, ugliness.

Crossed boundaries.

Go back to the icy, cold marbled eyes.
These we expect, yet unprotecting.
They do not want me.
They do not know how to love this child.

Back to the edgy, black holes.
These suck the happiness out.
Eyes that cowardly hide behind a blind curtain of love and trust.

Other eyes come in and out everyday.
Will someone notice?
False hope.
Hundreds of eyes looking, but they do not "SEE."
Maybe they can't.
Maybe they don't want to.

I deserve protection.

Again alone.
Just survive.

Wait.....
A new set of eyes.
These are warm, gentle, male.

They must be tested for safety.

These eyes love and stay.
They protect and begin to help heal the hurt.
I melt in these eyes.
They care and want to help.
I love these eyes more than anything.

Only this set of eyes can be trusted.

All others have betrayed and left.

I am still not whole.
I chose to let a new set of eyes in.

I search deep into these eyes, reaching out

These eyes do not betray.
They do not reflect back my own emptiness.
They are not cold, void of feeling.

They reflect love, caring, tenderness.....
All new.
These eyes are much needed and appreciated.

Week after week, these eyes, there.
One of the only true witnesses to the full extent of the pain, strength, growth.

The truth need not be hidden form these eyes.
They understand and sympathize.
Safety.

Finally.....
Someone knows the entire truth and it is OK.
I matter.

I work hard.

The emptiness fades.

The eyes that reflect back now allow for acceptance, love of the hurting child inside.

I do not have to see my own reflection.....
lonley, staring back blankly, wondering what to do.

I see my own eyes.
Tenderness, love, acceptance of it ALL.

What I did to survive.
What the innocent child had to do.

They will heal and reflect back all that is strong and good.....
The whole, entire self,
seen now.....

in the EYES.