Barney for President

Barney decided to run for President after he was almost gored by a bush while on a trip to the park. He knew that the hooman candidates were running neck and neck, so the voters needed another choice...and who could resist a fluffy corgihuahua! Barney, a guy from Tennessee with big floppy ears chose as his running mate the highly respected Trav Sniderman, a smiling fellow with a Jewish background. The Barnster was nominated by his very own wife, Mrs. Kissy, I mean Kwissy Corgihuahua Hersef. Here is an excerpt from her nomination speech, written in her own native corgese language.
"dis is kwistie. i wud like to nommy nate my dere barnsey warnsey fer pwesident! if you ast me, barnsey has got it all! he is berry hansum! we cud count on him to bwing in da hispanical bote. he has berry high conneckshuns - saint fwank is his personal fwend! he is well trabeled and up on da issues! he supports wemmenz wites (i make SURE ub dat!), he supports edgeecashun (he makes silber go to cwass ebery week), he wud gard de coffers ub cookies an keep dem safe fwum boogulars, um...did i menchun he's hansum? he started da celibacie campain! wemember "twoo wust can wait?" many ub us marched off to da bet singin' dat song! an puppy care? he furst coyned da phraze "it take a billage to waze a puppy" an he ment it! i'm shur dere are wots ub twaits i am fergetting! dere are so many! but i shur hope barnsey is nommynated! we cud make sines, an' fro confetty, and waise wabbles!"

The Corgicratican Party Platform

After many long meetings over the water dish with Trav and his future first lady Kristie, this is the Platform of the party.
1. Lots of food for all doggies (hmmm...a chicken in every dish sounds good!)
2. Lots of squeakie toys.
3. Lots of walks in the fresh air.
4. Permission to sleep wherever you want, whenever you want, for as long as you want.
5. More play time.
6. Make people live in people parks, so dogs can go free without collars and leads.
7. All hoomans get at least 4 hours off at lunch time so they can go home and let their doggies out to potty and go walkies and stuff!
8. Shorter workdays for hoomans so the doggies aren't by themselves for so long. (Ex. Work 9 AM to 10 AM. Lunch 10 - 2. Work 2 - 3 PM. Home!)
9. Shorter work WEEKS so they don't have to leave the doggies as often. 10. The national toy should become the tennis ball! (Brassy suggested that!) 11. All handles on refrigerators shall be lowered to no more than 5 inches from the floor.
12. Doggy shampoo becomes illegal! (For those that like water, but just hate the baths!)
13. Toenail clippers and dremels used for this purpose are also illegal.
14. Equal pwoteckshun an' squeakies for kitty cats under da law.