The Death of Osama bin Laden
Hello. _SW_Squall here again, with yet another comdiec offering. In light of the 9/11/01 WTC attacks, I was persuaded to make this fic. Same thing goes, do not use any of the chars without the authors permission, or if you want to post any of my fics on your website, please ask me first, or I will blacklist you. Another thing, I now have my own website, so please visit and read these fics and others by other authors, when I get them up. Click here to visit it. Now, on with the killing.
(Rocket Town, Cid's house, everyone is watching CNN)
Squall: Damn! Have'nt they caught that bin Laden guy yet?
Cloud: Nope. But they think they've got him cornered.
Cid: &*($&*$#! I want to watch Dukes!
Squall: We can't! We need to see if this d**kweed's been caught!
Kyle: Yeah!
***Authors Note: Kyle is my other char, and like Squall is basically me in the fics, Kyle is one of my friends.***
Barret: We need to plan some strategy! Come on foo's! Were startin' the mettin'!
Squall: Barret, were not at HQ.
Barret: Oh yeah.
Cid: *Sneaks up and changes the channel to the Dukes of Hazzard*
TV: And now, The Dukes of Hazzard!
Cid: Hell yeah! *Opens up a can of hash*
Cloud: You dumb @$$! We were watching CNN!
Kyle: *Is getting ready to kick Cid in the nuts when the TV turns to a special broadcast*
TV: This is a special broadcast! Osama bin Laden has been sighted
in Midgar! He has 20 other men with him, supposedly Al-Queda troops.
Cloud: Thats where he is!
Squall: Lets go get bin Laden!
Kyle: Lets go!
Cloud: Alright everyone! Let's mosey!
Everyone: Damn! Again! Can't you just say "Move out" or something?
Cloud: *Flips everyone off and piles in the Highwind and heads for Midgar*
Meanwhile
Osama: *Says many things in Arabic*
The troops: *All answer except for one*
Osama: *Says something.............f**k this*
Osama: Why don't you answer me?
Grahf: Huh? Are you talking to me?
Osama: Yes fool! Now who are you?
Grahf: I am Grahf! Dost thou seekth power?
Osama: Yes, but how the hell is a weakling like you going to give me power?
Grahf: I do not know.
Osama: *Has his troops kill Grahf*
Osama: *Says stuff in Arabic*
Troops: *Converge on him and do some nasty stuff that I will skip for the good of humanity*
On the Highwind
Guy on T.V: And I think that the terrorists are cool 'cause they killed a bunch of Jews in the towers!
Cloud: Cid, land at MSNBC real quick, will ya?
The group goes in and finds the guy
AVALANCHE: Die d**kweed! *Kill the guy*
**Authors Note: Yes, there are actually people praising the terrorists for their actions. And if any read this, you have no right to call yourselves Americans**
AVALANCHE: *Flys to Midgar*
At Midgar
Osama: *See's the Highwind landing at a specially constructed landing pad* What is that huge flying thing?
Troop 1: I believe it's called a airship.
Osama: Hmmmmm...............This will be the perfect place to launch my gayness over the world! Hahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha! Lets go! *Move into the Shin-Ra Tower, kicking out everyone else in the process*
Meanwhile, Cloud and Co. have just got off the Highwind....
Barret: So now what do we do foo'?
Red: I suggest we look for the fag at the Shin-Ra tower.
Cloud: Ok, lets go!
Back with bin Laden
Osama: So you say you are the gayest person here?
Ramza: Yeah! *Has a dildo up his @$$*
Osama: Very well! We want you to do this...........
Ramza: OK!
Back with AVALANCHE
Cloud: Where is the dumbass?
Squall: Dunno.
Tifa: Look! Up there!
Everyone: *Looks at the elevators, which are going up, carrying bin Laden and his troops*
Cid: &*$(&*%! He's got a good head start!
Tifa: Were gonna have to take the stairs again.
Barret: F**k no! We wait for the elevators!
At the top of the Shin-Ra Tower
Osama: Now, to spread the ultimate gayness! *Uncovers a huge picture of Ramza with no pants all over the front of the Shin-Ra building*
People of the World: S*************************T! Were blind!
AVALANCHE: *Puke on Red*
Red: *Mauls them*
Squall: Thats just a crime against humanity.
Squall(The Author): *Appears* Why not just use the Highwind?
Cid: Well s**t my pants and call me willy!
Everyone: Huh?!
Cloud: Lets kick the faggot's @$$!!
Everyone: *Piles into the highwind and flys to the top of the Shin-Ra Tower*
Osama: Oh no! There are people cming up in the flying thing! Help me! Save us! *Hides his "Rubber Girl* kit*
AVALANCHE: *Jumps out*
Squall: Today you die!
Cloud: I'm gonna kill you punk!
Troops: *Jump out and try to get them*
AVALANCHE: *Easily beats the s**t outta the troops*
Osama: Ah! But I have one more weapon! Come forth, instrument of my homosexuality!
Ramza: *Enters wearing a thong*
Everyone: *Pukes on bin Laden*
Osama: *Crys* Your all mean!
Squall: Stay dead you punk! ULTIMATE BREAK! *Kills Ramza*
Cloud: Now it's your turn!
Everyone: *Converges on Osama, and brutally beats him, ending it by cutting off all his exterior bodily organs and tossing him off the edge of the Shin-Ra tower*
AVALANCHE: YEAH! *Does their victory dances*
Back at H.Q
Squall: *Playing SSB as Link* Die! *Kicks Ness off the stage*
Barret: S**t!
Kyle: *Kicks Link off the stage, then uses a bomb to knock Falcon off* I win!
Cloud: Dammit!
Tifa: *Comes down* Well, everything's back to normal.
Red: Yes. And now I can get back to my book.
_SW_Squall: Now I can finally stop worrying about this fic. Until next time, Adios!