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| The following brochure was created by Pat Harris, LMFT ResolveToHeal.com Pat-Harris.com This is page 4 8. Take a time out before you have a temper tantrum. What’s your anger cue? What is your method for handling your fear (which is behind the anger)? Be a model to your child about how to handle disappointment. 9. Expose your children to different cultures. Visit museums and street fairs in different neighborhoods. It helps your child to accept differences. we live in a salad bowl. Show your child that you are continuing to learn new things about other cultures and that your preconceptions are sometimes inaccurate or lacking information. Another culture is less threatening when we know the food and art of that culture. Are you depending on schools to do the work of introducing children to other cultures? Have you seen the pressures on teachers and principals to meet new academic standards? It’s pretty difficult, so the power is in your hands. You’re one of the adults in the child’s life. It’s okay to accept differences. We can learn. We can discover red onions and bell peppers taste great in my salad, but reed onions alone are a bit strong. When I have them in my salad, they enhance the taste. Drive into different communities. Look for similarities and the big question: What do we have in common? Ask the right questions. There is power in asking the right questions. Why do I reject things? Why? Because I haven’t given myself permission to try something new or to accept the possibility that there are other ways to do what I do. There are several roads up to the mountain top, not just my path. But until I accept that, I don’t’ want to allow my family to go on any other path – it wouldn’t be safe! Let’s have a new experience at least once a week. If you feel scared, embrace the fear and honor the experience. 10. Allow your children to make decisions. Anytime you do something for a child that they can do for themselves, you are disabling your child. This means “allow your child to make mistakes and learn from them.” It would be so much easier for you to do something for your child so your child doesn’t feel the embarrassment and pain of making a mistake. It is often more stressful for you to stand back and watch your child stumble, but your child will learn by doing. Teach your child how to ask for help. Resources are available. This is how you get your needs met. If there’s a situation, there has to be a solution. (Isn’t that a nice “self talk”?). Teaching problem-solving skills to your child…and demonstrate how to approach a problem. Let your child see you confused, talk about your doubts and then how you “self-talk” yourself into a positive mental attitude. What is the problem? Whose problem is it? What options do I have? Allow the child to explore what works and find out what doesn’t work. Consequences can be positive or negative. Life is about choices and decisions (not just about avoiding risk or struggling to maintain everything “just the way it was.”). I read, therefore I get more information, therefore I think and know that things change. Nothing remains the same. It’s important as a parent that I focus on the Big Picture – yes, grades are important, school is important, but life skills are more important. I need to promote growth and development instead of reacting. I am responding to modeling. How can I regulate or take charge of JUST ME? “I am operating in love or fear – it’s a choice. I choose love.” page 2 page 3 page 4 page 5 |
| The following brochure was created by Pat Harris, LMFT ResolveToHeal.com Pat-Harris.com Pat's brochure page 2 page 3 page 4 << you are here page 5 |