Miles Michael A.

Miles A., 4 yrs + 4 mo June 18, '93 - October 31, '97 brain tumor

TO OUR SON MILES

For all the stories and the games,
For all the joys and the pains,
The little words that you said,
The constant talking while in bed,

The friends that you had, from who knows where,
Pajama Sam, Offer, and Fatty Bear.
They kept you from trouble, or they took the fall,
Because you did nothing wrong, they did it all.

And the games you could play, who would guess
That a four year old could sit down and play me in chess.
And you never lost, you were never defeated.
You always won, you won or I "cheated".

A kiss and a hug was the only way,
To say good bye or to start each day.
Go green, that was your color.
In your mind's eye, there is no other.
You loved that color, all the way from day one.
And to take it from you, was nothing but fun.
I liked to pick green, just to see what you'd do.
And you took it back each time, and you made me blue.
Dad was blue and Mom was red.
Mercedas was yellow Because Miles said.

You looked like Mom, and you acted like Dad.
You had the best of us both, that ain't so bad.
You made your own words like Bobo, Stoop, and Yahtzees,
Which simply meant pacifier, screwdriver, and little Army men, Nazis.

I hear these words and much, much, much more.
They ring through my head, some whisper, some roar.
"Actually, Dad, my friends did it." "Can I help you?" "Give me a kiss and a hug. Give Mom a kiss and a hug" "Are you seeping?" "I'm a good boy. I'm not a bad boy." "Vake up, Dada, I thing we gotta play a game." "Can I have some Kool Aide?" "Will the childs be there, too?" "My sign says that I need more games." "Mama, you picked the right one." "Which hand is it in?" "NOOO!!" "The creepy guy took us." "Can I wear my bug shoes?" "If I get one more 'puter game, that's all I'll ever want. Actually, if I could just have two more 'puter games, that's all I'll ever want. Please, please, Dad!" "You can't get me." "I'm gonna get your butt." "You need to 'stall that 'puter game for me." "Is Dave coming over?" "Mama, can we go to Mick's house." "I tink we have a problem!" "I just want to go home." "Do you want to play wiff me?" (I heard that one a lot.) "One, two, set go." "Look at that spider." "Followed with a hit." "Mama, you're my sweet girl." These are all the things that Miles said every day.

He was always happy and so many hearts he did touch,
I can still hear him asking, "Dad, do you love me so much?"
I did, and I do, and I'll love you forever,
You had me wrapped around your finger, you were so damned clever..

Each morning I'd rise and ask, "Miles, you okay?"
That's how I liked to start out and begin each day.
He'd look at me and say, "Yeah, Dad, I'm fine."
Then he'd give me that smile and his face would shine.

"You the man and you know it", you answered so proud.
"Who's the man? I am." You said it so loud.
When I asked my favorite question, you hit me with a bomb.
"Who's your best friend, Miles?" And you answered me, "Mom!"
To me you were the man, to Mom my precious boy,
You made us so happy and brought nothing but joy.

Miles, look for Boomer and Bumper, because you know what you say,
"All dogs go to heaven, to heaven to play!"
You three died in my arms, I'll never forget.
Not having you longer is my only regret.

You loved Stryc, you loved Baba, you loved Papa, you loved Gram.
You loved Akee, you loved Buddy, you loved Fatty Bear, Offer, and Pajama Sam.

All you did was love. What Happened is not fair.
I'll tell every one who knows you, to remember in prayer.
You made us laugh and you made us cry,
That just leaves just one question, "WHY?"

Why my son, my little man, my best friend.
My heart is so broken, will it ever mend?
We know you're in heaven, and you have no more pain.
You have to look over us, and keep us both sane.
We miss you now, and we'll miss you later.
Our son's love, there's nothing greater!!

With all our love, Mom and Dad
(Stefanie + Michael A.)

Trading Places

Today for you I cried,
It's missing you, I can't hide,
Not having your near, to hug and to hold
Makes life lonely, and so, so cold.

Your memories are my crutch,
Because I think of you oh, so much.
From early in the morning, to late in the night,
I try to find one reason to make this thing all right.

I'll search and I'll search forever, but I'll never understand.
Will I have to wait till I due, and we're together hand in hand.

Thank you so much, I miss you so much, I love you so much, and do you love me so much, so much so much, so much.

Life you know, is a gift, and for you
mine I would have gave
I would have traded places, and it would be me there
in your grave.

But someone had a different thought, a different master plan,
To bring you back to His home, with Him and His Heavenly clan.
I know you're now an angel, a star up in the night,,
And I know you'll be a good one, too,
And you'll always keep burning bright.

I love you, Miles!!

(Michael A.)

Life Is A Test

Happiness is a state of mind,
one I do not own,
You cannot have your happiness,
if you’re all alone.

Alone I’m not,
I have my wife,
I have my daughter too,
I wish I had just one more thing,
that one more thing is you.

I lived for you,
for you were me,
you liked to play your games.
I write things down to store my thoughts,
And your pictures I put in frames.

Memories now are all I’ve got,
but I’ve got a lot.
I keep them stored in my heart,
In their special spot.

I pull them out all at once,
And sometimes one by one,
When I need some happy thoughts,
When my day’s no fun.

My son could brighten any day,
Because he was the best.
Living life without him now,
Will be my toughest test.

I love you, Miles!!!

(Michael A.)