When you tell your relatives you are going to homeschool, you are often met with shock, anger or attacks. The challenges can be worse than those leveled by strangers, because these people know you well-your faults, your weaknesses….your inability to do math. Here are some responses to typical objections relatives offer concerning homeschooling.
What about socialization?
Yes, even your own parents may ask you that one! If you’ve been doing any reading at all about homeschooling, you have probably come up with some good background information on that one. Remind your family that your children have a perfectly good social life right now, and you see no reason why it won’t continue. There are children in your family, in your neighborhood, in your homeschool group, in your church…wherever you happen to take your children to be with others. Also remind them of all the evil skills you learned from other children-skills your family might prefer your children never learn. Finally, point out that socialization means being able to become a well-behaved adult. This can be learned only by hanging out with adults. The more time children spend with adults, the more grown-up they are. The more time they spend with peers, the more peer-dependent they are and the more immature.
Are you qualified?
This is where they are remembering the F you got in math, or the fact that you prefer reading romance novels to history books, or your inability to spell. Suggest to them that school teachers are seldom good at everything either. My children had teachers who couldn’t do math, never read a classic, and thought history was pointless. As their teacher, you intend to do better. What you don’t know, you will learn together. Remind your family that parents are always told to model the behavior they want their children to imitate. If your children see you eagerly learning with them, they will begin to view learning as exciting and wonderful!
But you do want them to go to college, don’t you?
Of course you do. That is really one of the best reasons to homeschool. You don’t want them exposed to the common public school child attitude that learning and being smart is only for nerds. You want them to love learning. If they are behind, you want to help them catch up. If they are ahead, you don’t want them held back. If they are average, you don’t want them ignored. You can let them learn at their own level and do exactly whatever they need in order to get into college. Nearly every college takes homeschoolers now if you prepare ahead, and some, including Stanford, consider it a plus on your application.
But you have ADD, are busy with the baby, aren’t organized, etc.
Well, so what? You have been successful in many areas of your life in spite of these challenges, so why can’t you be successful at this? Many parents with ADD find that in this one area, they do not behave like a person with ADD. They are tremendously successful at homeschooling-in fact, it may be a plus. The baby is going to homeschool, too, and she will also be a homeschooling subject for your older children. You will manage your life in such a way that you will be organized for this part of your life-or you’ll teach your children to help you organize, which is a good skill to learn. You’ll manage-and you hope they will want to help you with these challenges.
Is this legal?
Yes, in all fifty states in the United States it is legal, although there may be restrictions. If you live in another country, find out the rules and be prepared to explain them.
Well, I know a homeschooling family and they…. Now you get to hear about every homeschooling failure and every bratty homeschooler. Remind your family that you know public school children who have failed, and that you know many public school children who are brats. Yours are not; your school will not fail.
You went to public school and you turned out fine/I send my kids to public school and they do just fine.
That is true, but you probably would have turned out just fine if you had homeschooled too-maybe even better. Remember that if someone in your family has children and chooses not to homeschool, you may get attacked because they feel guilty. Be gentle and respect their choice.