How are you feeling?
Summing how you feel in one word isn’t easy. But if I were to do it I would choose “tired!”
My mind is tired, my body is tired and I’m tired!
Tired of every wisecrack made at school about me and how everyone makes fun of me,
Tired of every evil glare or hateful word given on the street by people I don’t even know,
Tired of every spiteful word exchanged with my mum every time we fight,
Tired of this painful aching in my heart that makes me feel empty inside,
Tired of hating myself,
Tired of disappointing my friends,
Tired of feeling stupid,
Tired of living up to everyone else’s expectations of me and not my own,
Tired of sitting all alone in my room,
Tired of feeling depressed,
Tired of being treated like I don’t exist,
Tired of being treated like I don’t matter,
Tired of resorting to a knife every time something bad happens,
Tired of bad things happening,
Tired of scars,
Tired of feeling sad and lonely,
Tired of wishing I was someone else,
Tired of feeling ill,
Tired of worrying,
Tired of wanting more,
Tired of eating,
Tired of sleeping,
Tired of breathing,
Tired of failing,
Tired of feeling useless,
Tired of wanting to be dead,
Tired of missing what I used to have,
Tired of being ungrateful for what I still have now,
Tired of existing and not living,
Tired of running and hiding,
Tired of being selfish,
Tired of hating and being hated,
Tired of loving and not being loved,
Tired of aching,
Tired of longing,
Tired of caring,
Tired of smiling,
Tired of frowning,
Tired of trying to be me,
Tired of trying to be someone else,
Tired of crying,
Tired of thinking bad thoughts,
Tired of listening but not being listened to,
Tired of being shouted at,
Tired of being patronised,
Tired of being cut down,
Tired of being mocked,
Tired of feeling sorry for myself,
Tired of every hateful word exchanged by others,
Tired of every cruel act of violence that goes on,
Tired of the lack of justice,
Tired of the human race hating each other,
Tired of people ignoring the needs of others,
Tired of people hurting each other,
Tired of all the murder, rape and abuse,
Tired of racism,
Tired of ageism,
Tired of sexism,
Tired of prejudice,
Tired of all the death and disease,
Tired of world hunger and poverty,
Tired of class,
Tired of feeling so sad
And I’m tired of feeling so tired!
© REBEKAH SMITH November 2002.
Homepage