Brief Summary: Look! Up in the Sky! It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's...Serpent Man?!

Summary:In Washington DC, apparently outside the White House, the Joes are waiting for Cobra to try and steal the US Constitution. Three groups of Joes are stationed in various areas, some on a roof (led by Heavy Duty), some on the ground (led by Grid-Iron) and some in the sewers (led by Scoop).

Cobra shows up on cue and manage to make it into the National Archive where they seal the Constitution. Night Creeper Leader gets handed the document and told to beat feet while the other Cobras hold off the Joes. During this scene, we get to see the Joes pinned down, unable to attack since they don’t want to destroy either the Constitution or the other ional Archive. Unfortunately for historians, the Cobra troopers have no such qualms.

Night Creeper Leader manages to escape by plane with the Constitution (which should have fallen apart by now due to rough handling and exposure to the air). Meanwhile, the Joes are accosted by Jose Riviera, an unscrupulous journalist who shows up just in time to film the Joes failing.

Luckily for democracy, a flying guy in a snake-themed suit shows up to stop Night Creeper Leader and save the constitution. HE takes out Night Creeper Leader’s plane and takes back the constitution while NCL whines and Jose Riviera takes photos of the incident.

WE learn that this costumed hero is named “Serpent Man” and he’s named after the snake on the historical “Don’t Tread on Me” flag of the early American colonies. Grid-Iron steps up to thank Serpent Man for his help.

Cut to a headline reading: “GI Joe Hiss-tory now that Serpent Man is here!” (which is way too long for a banner headline but hey…)

Next: Press conference where President Mason is thanking Serpent Man for his help. A reporter (I think it’s Riviera) asks why we need the Joes now that Serpent Man is here? Serpent Man steps up for the Joes defense, saying that they do good work even if they weren’t able to succeed this time around. He also suggests that they should be commended for the work they do. The President agrees and announces that there will be a commemeration ceremony on the Joe parade ground the next day.

Mason’s Secret Service guys must just love her…then again, we never do see them so maybe they just said screw this a long time ago.

AT the commemeration ceremony the next day, the President is snared by Cobra right in front of the Joes. Cobra takes the President into the sewers and the Joes follow. Heavy Duty uses a fake grenade to scare the Cobras into running out of the area, then follows them down and blows open a pair of steel doors.

Heavy Duty joins the ranks of those DiC characters who speak with highly enunciated and affected voices. And, again, it makes him sound vaguely British.

The Joes track the Cobras in the sewers which results in a big fight that turns out to be the Joes fighting each other. Doh.

Serpent Man and Riviera show up on the Serpent Man’s Sewer Snake (snicker). They blow past the Joes on their way to rescue the President.

Cut to an interesting little scene where the Night Creepers who took the President are sitting around playing cards with her. It’s interesting not so much because it’s the first hint we get that the President isn’t the President but more so because it’s just so dang subtle (at least for a DiC episode).

The Night Creepers stop playing cards right before Serpent Man and Riviera show up. This is an indication that Riviera is not in on the scheme, but more on that in a bit.

Serpent Man manages to save the President fairly easily and we get another headline: Serpent Man swims President to safety while GI Joe Sinks!

The President then cuts the Joes from the budget and Serpent Man is appointed as both the Attorney General and the Secretary of Defense in order to fight crime and terrorism. The audience for this announcement is enthusiastic, despite President Mason’s rather blatant disregard for the selection process for Presidential appointees.

Since this is a kids’ show, we don’t get to see month after month of congressional hearings wherein we learn way too much about Serpent Man’s policits, personal life and sexual preferences. Instead, everyone seems to accept that this appointment is going to happen and the episode moves on apace.

Cobra Man…errr….Serpent Man says that he stands for Honesty, Lawfulness and The American Way. Back at the Joe HQ, where the Joes are watching this travesty, Grid-Iron smashes the TV after this announcement. And I can’t say as I blame ‘em.

Adding insult to injury, an interior decorator shows up to turn Joe HQ into a tennis shoe boutique in Serpent Man’s colors. HAving had enough, the Joes start looking for clues to figure out what exactly is going on around here.

They head back to the sewers where they find the President’s watch. A newspaper photo shows that the President was wearing her watch when she was rescued by Serpent Man so clearly the current President is an impostor.

A giant robotic snake shows up and the Joes fight it. Heavy Duty fires at the roof of the sewer, dropping some of it onto the robo snake (why he doesn’t just shoot it is beyond me). The Joes flee and Heavy Duty refuses to drop his big ass gun but they manage to escape.

They find themselves in a topsecret area and are soon busted by Riviera when he shows up and demands that the Joes surrender to him since they’re trespassing. The Joes, figuring that a tabloid reporter doesn’t have that kind of jurisdiction, run. Riviera reports that they’ve committed treason by breaking into a Pentagon area.

Cut to the Millard Fillmore Memorial, where the Joes are meeting in order to plan how they’re going to figure out what’s going on before Serpent Man is sworn in the next day.

At the White House, the faux President is on the phone to an auction house attempting to sell the entire White House collection. She gets snippy when the house doesn’t offer her a good price for the Jefferson silver collection.

The Joes break into the White House to try and figure out what’s up with the President only to discover that she’s Zarana! Outside, Riviera is filming the President through her window and catches some fo the fight on tape. Serpent Man and Riviera show up and Serpent Man grabs Zarana and takes off out the window (but not before Grid Iron manages to sneak a tracking device onto her).

Cobra’s secret base turns out to be under the Millard Fillmore Memorial. Zarana and Serpent Man flee when the Joes break in, leaving Night Creeper Leader and generic Vipers to fight the Joes. They don’t manage to get away though, at least not before we find out that Serpent Man was really Cobra Commander. Then they manage to escape since the Joes only took off Serpent Man’s helment rather than his jet boots. Zarana and Night Creeper Leader hang on for the ride home.

A voice synthesizer in the helmet disguised Cobra Commander’s weasly snakey voice with the robust tones of Serpent Man.

Riviera shows up in time to see the rescue of the President and to be chasetend for his stupidity in backing the faux-hero. The president reinstates the Joes and welcomes them back into the nation’s defense.

Oh yeah, and she yells “Yo Joe.”

Dear God.

Commentary: Okay, first off, the President can recommend people for positions like Secretary of Defense and Attorney General but, as I said, Congress gets the final say. Second, we’re supposed to believe that President Mason is popular enough that nobody’s going to be the least bit irate that she’s appointing a costumed looney to two cabinet positions? Third, a female President?! How far in the future is this show supposed to be happening? I mean, I understand they want to be all nice and politically correct (since that was the style of the time) it just seems like a stretch. The nice thing is they don’t make some kind of a big deal about it but…eesh.

Hector Ramierez was a better journalist than this Jose Riviera guy. Which is kind of funny since they’re both sort of parodies of Geraldo Rivera. Jose is more of a parody of the Geraldo who had his own show and got smacked with a chair, while Ramierez is closer to the Geraldo who was on 20/20 and at least had some semblance of journalistic ethics and sensibilities.

Overall, once you get past the silliness, this isn’t a bad episode and it’s kind of funny. The bit with the interior decorator is priceless in a campy way.