Brief Summary: Fun in the sun, Cobra style!

Summary: A security guard gets taken out by a Cobra operative, in the middle of a snowy wasteland. Gnawgahyde wonders why they’re stealing shaving cream.

Sarge and Sub-Zero are out flying. Sarge asks if it’s cold enough for Sub-Zero who says he prefers it warm and toasty. Bullhorn radios the others, giving them the word of a Cobra attack on the Everfresh shaving cream factory. This turns out to be Sarge’s brand.

Cobra runs from the Joes, escaping and leaving the Joes trapped in shaving cream. “Just a little dab’ll do ya!” taunts Cobra Commander as he gets away.

We cut to a meeting at a Cobra base, being held in an auditorium-type of room, of the sort usually seen in lecture halls on college campuses. A collection of Cobras are seated in the room, filling it to capacity as Cobra Commander and Zarana fill them in on the plan:

So…why was Cobra stealing shaving cream?

Shaving cream contains aerosols which in turn contain CFCs. If Cobra’s able to extract the CFCs from the aerosols in the shaving cream, they could use the CFCs to destroy the ozone layer completely.

So…why does Cobra want to destroy the ozone layer?

Because if they destroy the ozone layer, they can turn around and sell NoZone, their new super-sunblock that’ll help protect against the sudden influx of ultra-violet radiation.

Okay, okay, chances are you’ve seen that the plot hole in this episode is easily bigger than the hole in the ozone layer and that it’s allowing unhealthy amounts of stupid through. See the commentary for more

The Cobra operatives sit in their little desk chairs, taking notes on Cobra Commander’s plan. What Cobra Commander wants is for his sales people to sell one tube of NoZone per week to every man, woman and child on the planet. At five hundred dollars a tube, each tube is a week’s supply of NoZone. In a year, this will mean approximately 1.17 trillion dollars in annual revenues for Cobra.

The Cobras in the audience go wild at the thought of all this mad cash (which probably means that most of them’ll finally start getting paid, since Cobra seems almost perpetually broke in the DiC episodes).

The Joes, on the other hand are trying to figure out how to stop Cobra from releasing the CFCs into the atmosphere and destroying the ozone layer. They’re getting ready to attack the Cobra base in Antarctica when Gnawgahyde comes on the monitor to announce a NoZone commercial.

The commercial switches to Cobra Commander talking about the glories of NoZone, then over to Zarana who gives the final pitch. She’s lying on her side on a beach towel dressed in a one-piece bathing suit while Metal-Head stands behind her, rubbing one arm as if he’s rubbing on NoZone. Either that or just touching her in a very creepy way. Zarana shoves him away eventually and then Cobra Commander reveals the rest of the plan in the commercial.

Outside Cobra’s Antarctic base, a group of Snow Serpents prepares to face the Joes. Their leader seems way too chipper for a Cobra, he must really love his job.

Sub-Zero breaks into the Cobra base only to be caught by the really chipper Snow Serpent who tries to start an avalanche to kill Sub-Zero. Luckily for Sub-Zero, Sarge manages to save him and catch the Snow Serpent leader.

With the threat of the chipper Snow Serpent behind them, the Joes proceed to check out the Cobra base, trying to find the CFCs.

Meanwhile, Cobra has begun selling NoZone to a huge crowd of desperate people. Amazingly, no one in the crowd decides to try and over-power the Cobras and take the NoZone for themselves. IT wouldn’t exactly be hard to do, considering there’s only a handful of them.

Ambush cuts a hole into the bottom of Cobra’s truck and hides in the huge, loose stack of money in the back. The better to be taken back to Cobra’s base.

As Cobra pulls off, Cobra Commander reminds the folks that NoZone will soon be available on their grocer’s shelves.

As planned, Ambush gets carried into the second Cobra base, in Monument Valley, California.

Another NoZone commercial plays, this time Gnawgahyde, Metal-Head and Zarana start singing, but luckily Slaughter turns the television off before our eardrums split.

Cobra’s been using some machinery to suck the CFCs out of the shaving cream. Metal-Head manages to catch Ambush as he’s nosing around the machinery and gives chase with the help of a couple SAW Vipers. But Ambush manages to get away and hides in a barrel. Ambush slips out of the barrel and ends up on a conveyer belt.

“Oops,” says Ambush, as he spies where the conveyer belt leads.

Metal-Head gets out a nice little speech, taunting Ambush on his choice of last words.

The Joes break into this second base and Salvo manages to save Ambush in the nick of time by destroying the holding tank for the NoZone and flooding the place. Metal-Head and the SAW Vipers are swept away.

Cobra Commander is MAD! Sarge goes after him, seeking to pound CC’s face in. Zarana, knowing which way the wind is blowing, ducks out on the Commander.

The Joes shoot up the factory and figure out where the CFCs have been pumped. They are being used to fill a big balloon that will be released and let to destroy the ozone layer. Once the balloon gets up high enough, pressure will cause it to burst, releasing the CFCs.

Cobra Commander attempts to bargain with Slaughter, but it doesn’t work. Even when CC offers thirty percent and a new car!

Sub-Zero heads off to try and stop the balloon. Gnawgahyde is also there to try and insure that the CFCs are released. Sub-Zero says something to the effect of how he captured the balloon, to which Gnawgahyde logically replies:

“Well, do tell, there you are, three thousand feet high and rising fast and you think you’ve captured the balloon?”

Gnawgahyde gets knocked off the balloon and parachutes to safety. Metal-Head, still on the ground and having been spat forth from the Cobra base on a wave of NoZone, gets a radio call from Cobra Commander telling him to blow the balloon out of the sky.

Metal-Head goes to fire, but Ambush uses some cloth (a parachute?) to spin Metal-Head around so that when he fires, he fires into the Cobra base instead of at the balloon.

Grid-Iron then manages to snag the balloon and Sub-Zero, hauling them off to some safe CFC neutralizing place.

Cobra Commander, Metal-Head and Gnawgahyde are walking around the ruins of the Cobra base. “I’m not going to get mad,” Cobra Commander says in a voice that implies that anger is bubbling below the surface just waiting for the chance to explode forth.

And bubble forth it does when CC steps on a remote, causing one of the monitors to turn on just in time for a NoZone commercial featuring Zarana lying on a polar bear skin rug in a bathing suit. Which is easily the nicest shot in the whole episode.

Cobra Commander, however, doesn’t take it like that. Instead, angered that his face is once again being rubbed in his monumental failure, flips out and the episode ends.

Commentary: Oddly enough, the EcoWarriors don’t appear at all in this episode. Then again, this episode appeared in the first season and the EcoWarriors didn’t come about until season two, so maybe it makes a bit more sense.

Overall, this episode isn’t half-bad, so long as you’re willing to ignore the suicidally stupid idea that is the basis for the plot. Cobra’s plan would be a good one, if it wasn’t for the fact that destroying the ozone layer is going to mean bigger problems than needing a stronger sunscreen. In fact, it’s going to mean the complete and total ruination of the entire world.

Also, the entire episode is built around a false premise. But first, a brief background explanation: CFCs used to be used in aerosol cans as a propellant. Basically, they were in there to push the stuff in the aerosol can out, whether that was hair spray or shaving cream or whathaveyou. CFCs were developed in the 1930s. In the 1970s, scientists found a correlation between CFCs and the destruction of the ozone layer. In 1979, several countries world-wide, including the US banned the use of CFCs in non-essential aerosols such as hair spray and shaving cream. Other methods of propulsion were found, including pump bottles.

So, since this episode is taking place in 1990, there would be no CFCs in the shaving cream that Cobra stole. On the other hand, if Cobra had stolen car air conditioners, they could have gotten a supply of ozone-depleteing CFC-12, which was still in use until 1993. Or if they’d known ahead of time that their plan was completely bogus, they could made the episode that much more clever by having Cobra fake out the world (something they do quite well in United We Stand).

For more on the ozone layer and its depletion, visit the EPA’s Ozone Depletion web space at Ozone Depletion Information for the General Public Boring name, useful site.