Spy Troops: The Movie
Airdate: September 27, 2003
Also released Direct to Video on DVD included in Ninja Showdown pack with 12-inch Storm Shadow and Snake-Eyes
Written by: Larry Hama

Note: This review is based on the DTV DVD included with the Ninja Showdown pack; I also watched a tape of the Cartoon Network airing of the movie just for completeness sake.

Summary: We open in a nameless desert where the Joes are being chased by a pair of HISS tanks. Duke, Snake-eyes and Scarlett are in one of the Joe vehicles, apparently a Smokescreen, while Beachhead and Shipwreck are in the other. Beachhead tells Scarlett: "Scarlett, you drive that Smokescreen like a girl!" To which Scarlett replies: "That good, huh Meathead?" (Already, I like this Scarlett.)

Beachhead's Voice: Yeah, he sounds like a surfer and a young one at that. ST Beachhead is probably a good ten to fifteen years younger than RAH Beachhead. I've seen some fans estimate him to be around eighteen, but I'd put him at maybe 21 at the earliest and 24 at the latest. If nothing else, the difference in voices should help reinforce the fact that this isn't the same continuity as the Real American Hero series.

The Cobra tanks get into firing range and blast the vehicle that Beachhead and Shipwreck are in, causing it to jump. It also causes Shipwreck's gun to fire wild, hitting the vehicle that Duke and Co. are in. This knocks Scarlett out of the vehicle and Snake-eyes jumps after her, moving like a hyperactive flea. He catches her in mid-air then jumps back into their Smokescreen, carrying her.

Shipwreck is having no luck hitting the HISS tank after him and Beachhead. Beachhead is amazed at how badly Shipwreck is shooting today, so apparently Shipwreck is a really good shot.

The tank they're shooting at vanishes. Beachhead and Shipwreck stop, looking for it which leads to one of my favorite bits of dialogue in this scene:

Beachhead: "Hear anything?"
Shipwreck: "Just that soft hissing..."

This is said as the HISS tank they were looking for creeps up behind them and orders them to surrender. That's when Wild Bill shows up in the Night Attack Chopper (NAC) and opens fire on the tank. As it drives off, he follows much to the distress of Hightech, who is riding along with him.

The HISS tanks lead Wild Bill and Hightech into an ambush, whereupon Wild Bill proceeds to make the NAC do things out of Skikorsky's wildest and wettest dreams. (Technically, he continues to do things with the NAC that no chopper could realistically do, but he's just having so damn much fun doing them, who cares?)

The other Joes watch in awe as Wild Bill manages to beat down the HISS tanks. As Wild Bill says, 'I am pleased to aim and I aims to please!"

The battle over, he brings in the NAC and we find out that Wild Bill was never in the NAC. Instead, he's been sitting on a lounge chair, kicking back with some funky headset on. Apparently, the headset is part of a system called "MIRC" that Hightech has developed that allows for him to fly by remote. Hightech, on the other hand, was actually in the NAC while Wild Bill was flying via MIRC so you gotta wonder if maybe he's rethinking this system. Or at least rethinking being on any chopper that Wild Bill is flying with it.

The last thing to do now is to deal with the Cobras, which Wild Bill does, by tossing each of them a frosty government issue Yo Joe Cola! The HISS drivers were actually Joes and this whole thing was a test run of the MIRC system. Dusty takes the Joes down into their base on the desert elevator, so apparently this wasn't a holographic simulation.

We cut to the theme, which is purely musical, no lyrics. Those'll come at the end or if you have the DVD, you can watch the music video as well.

We come back from the theme and find ourselves at Cobra Mountain where Cobra Commander is addressing his troops.

Cobra Commander's Voice: Okay, fact of the matter is, nobody in this movie has the same voice that they had in Real American Hero. In a couple cases, this is a rather jarring difference. I've already mentioned Beachhead and now I'm getting to the other one: Cobra Commander. As I've already mentioned, this isn't (and couldn't be) Chris Latta's Cobra Commander. I know some people think this version sounds like Chris Latta's version, but to me the voices are different. Not completely different, since both have that air of hysterical megalomania about them, but this voice to me sounds more like a real voice as opposed to an affected voice. I'm never going to mistake this guy for Chris Latta, and that's okay because (once again) this isn't Real American Hero.

Anyway, Destro interrupts Cobra Commander's speechifying with a murmured message. Reluctantly, Cobra Commander goes with him and Destro shows him spy video from the Cobra spy working within GI Joe. He tells Cobra Commander that the Joes are excited about their MIRC device, which stands for Mind Interface Remote Control.

Unfortunately, Cobra Commander ain't havin' none of it. He doesn't care how useful the MIRC system would be for keeping Cobra pilots safe (he's got others) or for espionage (he's got one spy inside GI Joe, why's he need another?). The espionage thing was the Baroness's attempt to schmooze the boss, but it didn't work.

Cobra Commander stomps off to go see what Dr. Mindbender is doing.

Down in his laboratory, Dr. Mindbender is working on a BAT when CC stomps in and interrupts him. Mindbender says something rather uncomplimentary to the Commander but rescinds it once he realizes whom he's talking to (of course).

Dr. Mindbender's Voice: It's not the Eastern European one from Real American Hero, instead he sounds younger and more American and in some ways, I like this voice better. He vaguely reminds me of Jack Skellington from Nightmare Before Christmas later in the movie.

Cobra Commander walks past a cage that has a really big stripy hand peeping out of it. Oooh, foreshadowing! But not for this movie!

Cobra Commander interrupts Dr. Mindbender again to ask if the new BATs are ready. Dr. Mindbender says that they are and that in fact, they've already had their first test in battle and come through successfully. Unfortunately, we didn't get to see this test, just the end result. If I were CC, I'd be suspicious! For all we know Mindbender's using Cobra's hard-stolen money on mustache wax and chest grease!

Cobra Commander is pleased by the BATs performance, but Storm Shadow says that the BATs are no use against a human warrior. He demonstrates this by facing off against two BATs and cutting them into pieces before they're able to raise their weapons.

Mindbender is rather impressed by this performance: "I've never seen a human being move so fast or with such deadly precision!"

Cobra Commander is less impressed: "Its' a ninja trick," he says, sounding bored with Storm Shadow's antics. "Subtle mind/body thing."

Destro jumps on this opportunity to plant the idea of using the Joes' MIRC device to have Storm Shadow control the BATs, making them into an unstoppable army. Mindbender agrees, no doubt looking to help save his own hide lest CC get the idea that the BATs are worthless against all those highly trained ninja swordsmen out there.

Apparently it's just a question of pitching the right idea with CC, because THIS one he likes! He orders Destro and the Baroness to bring him the MIRC system, NOW!

"I want it!" he says, sounding a lot like most fans when word of the early release on the Ninja Showdown pack came out. Cobra Commander then bursts into maniacal laughter, like most fans on finally finding their copy of Ninja Showdown. I know I did and to hell with the weird looks I got!

Back at the Joe base, Beachhead is freaking out at the sight of Heavy Duty cooking.

Heavy Duty explains that he's making Romanian shishkabob, only he's changed the cooking method from slow grilling over an open flame to tossing a White Phosphorous grenade onto the skewers and flash cooking the meat. (Which would actually probably burn the meat to a cinder, rather like microwaving a filet mignon turns it into beef jerky.)

Scarlett, trying to be nice, says that she's sure Heavy Duty's cousin Roadblock would be proud of him as she takes a slice. Snake eyes, on the other hand, decides he'll just have an apple.

Note: This whole scene makes a whole lot more sense if you're able to read the filecards on the DVD under special features. According to the dossier on Heavy Duty , he's is a very bad cook, unlike his cousin Roadblock. He's still very good with the Ma Deuce, but don't let him near a stove.

During the meal, Duke says that he thinks the MIRC system is going to get the green light from the brass upstairs. The other Joes congratulate Hightech on his success and Beachhead asks Shipwreck to do his Cobra Commander impression. Shipwreck rather nervously declines the offer, saying maybe he'll do it after lunch. Tunnel Rat says that Shipwreck is just jealous because his parrot does a better impression of CC than he does. This causes Flint to ask after Polly, since apparently he hasn't seen her in a few days. Shipwreck's reaction is again nervous and highly evasive and to leave the room to 'check on Polly'.

This also gets him out of the room when Duke briefs the other Joes on the newest member of the GI Joe team: Agent Faces. Agent Faces is currently undercover inside Cobra Mountain and transmits information he thinks the Joes should know to them via his spy camera.

It's a good thing that Shipwreck missed the briefing, since as it turns out, Shipwreck is really Zartan. The real Shipwreck has been knocked cold and tied up in a closet along with Polly (since the parrot wouldn't go along with the subterfuge). Zartan taunts Shipwreck for a bit, then gets a message via radio from Destro, telling him to steal the NAC and the MIRC headset.

There's a brief flash during this scene where we see Zartan's real face that was kinda neat. It seems like instead of relying on latex masks like he did in the cartoon, Zartan actually has the holographic ability he had in the comics, which makes a hell of a lot more sense than those old masks used to. I mean, cripes, you could hide anything under those things. Were they made by the Gallafrian Mask Company or what?

Cobra's forces show up outside the Joe base and the Joes scramble to go meet them. Duke has Dusty take over the NAC while Wild Bill and Hightech take the Patriot Grizzly tank. Shipwreck (still Zartan in disguise) asks if maybe he could take the NAC, but Duke tells him that he'll be manning the desert elevator instead, taking the Joes up to the surface for the fight.

This leads to a really funny bit wherein Shipwreck/Zartan does a running monologue about the Joes and their forces coming to the surface for Destro and the Baroness's benefit. It's totally non-subtle and silly and it's amazing none of the Joes either catch on or just yell at him to shut up but I don't care 'cause it made me laugh, so there nyahnyahfooey!

Up top, Destro and the Baroness await the arrival of the Joes. The Baroness gives the Cobra troopers a nice morale-boosting speech (though considering she's wearing the cat suit in this one, she could really just be doing calisthenics and the Vipers would probably follow her through hell).

Just as Zartan mentions that the Patriot Grizzly has gone out the back door to get the drop on the Cobras and Destro asks "What back door?!" Wild Bill pulls up between Destro and the Baroness's HISS tanks (aww! Matching heavy armor!) and says "Howdy".

The Patriot Grizzly then takes off over a cliff (on purpose; suggested alternate tagline for this one "You will believe a tank can fly...among other things!") and the battle is joined by the other Joes.

During the fight, Zartan knocks Dusty out and steals the MIRC headset and the NAC.

Duke gives the order for the Joes to pull back to the box canyon, apparently for a last ditch effort or something. Either that or Duke likes the idea of being pinned down in a place where you can't make a run for it.

Scarlett notices something about the NAC as it flies overhead and leaps aboard as it draws close to her vehicle. She and Zartan duke it out, though we really don't see the actual fight, just the NAC bopping around as they do.

The Joes prepare to face down Cobra (and I really like this scene because all the Joes draw their personal weapons and aim them at the Cobras. Pointless, since they're going up against tanks, but still cool). The Baroness tells Destro that they should destroy the Joes now that they have them trapped, but Destro pulls back and orders the troops to return home, since they've met their objective for this mission. (That and if they take out the Joes now, the series is over and Hasbro would *BEAT* Destro for that.)

Cobra leaves, but not before Zartan takes a shot at the canyon walls, dropping down rocks on the Joes. They struggle free from the rubble in time to see "Shipwreck" taking off with Scarlett and the NAC.

Back at Cobra Mountain, Cobra Commander is very excited by his new toy...err vehicle. He's even renamed it the Cobra Crimson Command Copter (C4). But he doesn't like the color, so he tells Mindbender to make it red, blood red! He also demands that Mindbender gets the MIRC headset ready. Then he turns around and demands to know why Mindbender doesn't have both of these things already done!

Mindbender leaves and CC laughs as he goes, telling Destro and the Baroness that Mindbender is so much fun to tease like that.

I think most of us have worked for Cobra Commander at some point or another...

Cobra Commander notices that Shipwreck is among them; Zartan changes back to his usual self before Cobra Commander has him hauled off or anything. Cobra Commander tells Zartan he's pleased with his performance, so pleased that he's decided not to banish him this week.

Down in his lab, Mindbender prepares to demonstrate the MIRC/BAT interface. He gives one MIRC headset to Destro and the other to Storm Shaodw. For some reason, here his voice reminds me of Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas.

Destro and Storm Shadow commence to playing Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em Robots with the BATs, which respond to their every move. The final result ends up being a no-score draw as Destro and Storm Shadow mutually destroy each other's BATs.

Cobra Commander orders Mindbender to have 100 BATs ready for tomorrow. He continues to gloat that with the new BATs, Cobra will rule the world!

The Joes are watching spy footage of Cobra Commander's ravings. Heavy Duty wants to head off and kick butt NOW! He picks up Beachhead and shakes him (which, I gather, is what most Beachhead fans want to do with the poor bastich). Duke says they need stealth and starts to talk to Snake-eyes, but suddenly Snake-eyes flea-jumps over to the closet and finds Shipwreck and Polly tied up.

He frees Shipwreck who blacks out. When he revives, he explains what happened: Zartan showed uo disguised as Duke, then took over Shipwreck's appearance. Duke realizes that it had to have been Zartan, Cobra's Master of Disguise. When Shipwreck finds out that Scarlett and the NAC were captured and proceeds to experience a natural freak-out. He begs Duke for the chance to go out and save her and undo what he did.

Which strikes me as odd, since Shipwreck didn't exactly *DO* anything except get fooled by Zartan. Sure, it makes sense that Shipwreck would be upset that Scarlett got captured and all, but his reaction seems way out of line with that of the others. Heck, most of them seem more concerned with getting the NAC back. Duke and Snake-eyes don't seem in the least bit worried that their potential sweetie is in the clutches of the evil Cobras. Judging by reactions here, you'd almost think Shipwreck and Scarlett were the ones dating.

For the record, based on the filecards on the DVD, it looks like Scarlett and Snake-eyes are indeed a couple in this one but by and large the actual movie itself is rather ambiguous on the subject so you can pretty much draw your own conclusions.

Duke says that Shipwreck will get his chance, since they've traced the NAC back to Cobra Mountain.

The Joes send in Shipwreck and Snake-eyes in to Cobra Mountain. Shipwreck's mission is to get the access codes that will override Cobra's defense grid and open the hanger doors, allowing the Joes into the base.

Snake-eyes's job, on the other hand, is to destroy the NAC and keep MIRC out of Cobra's hands. No mention is made of getting Scarlett out of there.

Flint flies the pair to the drop-off spot. From there, they glide in on a Cobra glider. Once they're inside, they manage to evade detection and split up.

Mindbender surveys the now-repainted NAC and is very pleased by the paint job. After he leaves, Snake-eyes takes out the Viper who was working on the NAC and plants a bomb on the chopper.

As Snake-eyes leaves the hanger area he runs into Storm Shadow. The two of them fight and there's a cool bit where the two of them fire at each other with lasers and the lasers meet at the midway point, cancelling each other out.

The fight ends when Snake-eyes clocks Storm Shadow on the head and goes off on his own. Apparently to find Scarlett, since that's what he ends up doing.

Scarlett's being held in a cell with laser bars, her hands tied behind her back.

"Snake-eyes! Quick, get me out of here. But watch out, these are laser bars! Uh, maybe you could dive in between them in some fancy ninja move and then throw me out the same way. Or we could..." Snake-eyes proceeds to turn the bars off at the button. "Or you could just turn them off with the button. that would probably work too. What took you so long?"

This is one of my favorite bits in this whole movie. Mainly because they let Snake-eyes do the sort of thing that non-ninjas might do.

Scarlett and Snake-eyes take off, opening the doors to the outside of the base (why the Joes aren't waiting near THAT door for the attack, I couldn't tell you).

The Baroness showes up with Snake-eyes's bomb and tosses it at them with the old "Looking for this, Snake-eyes?" bit.

Scarlett acts first, grabbing Snake-eyes and jumping out of the open doors. She fires her crossbow behind her, giving herself and Snake-eyes a line to swing to safety on as the bomb explodes behind them.

Back at the Joe base, Duke briefs the Joes. THey'll be taking Cobra Mountain by force, otherwise Mindbender will have the time he'll need to equip all the BATs with the MIRC system.

Wild Bill and Hightech take off in the Patriot Grizzly tank, while the other Joes go by air.

Back at Cobra Mountain, Shipwreck finds one of Cobra Commander's uniforms and slips into CC's throne room. He sits down in the throne room and manages to turn on the internal Cobra comm system. Which is pretty cool-lookin', if ya ask me.

Shipwreck (or maybe Polly) does his (her) Cobra Commander impression to try and get the access code to open the hangar doors. He also gets the Cobras to give him an encrypted line to the outside, which he uses to call Duke. Polly uses her mad CC impersonation skillz to request crackers.

Meanwhile, the Joes are over Cobra Mountain, still unable to get inside. Cobra has scrambled their defenses as well.

Shipwreck/Polly tell the Cobra underlings to open the hangar doors, but Cobra Commander shows up on the comm system and interrupts the scheme, blowing it sky high. There's a bit of the ubiquitous "He's an Imposter!/No, he's an imposter!" bit.

There's a cool bit of aerial combat between the Joes and some of the Cobras.

Cobra Commander laughs at the sight of the Joes being picked out of the skies above Cobra Island. He mocks Shipwreck in particular and the Joes in general. Shipwreck tells the Commander that Cobra can't win because Cobra is evil and all like that. While the speech is a bit cheesy, it's not unbearably so.

One of the Crimson Guardsmen surrounding Shipwreck asks Cobra Commander what they should do with him. Cobra Commander tells them to get rid of him, toss him out of the mountain.

"Very well, sir," says the Siegie. "So, can I have the access code?"

Meanwhile, Hightech and Wild Bill are hurrying toward Cobra Mountain. Problem is, the overland route is going to take too long so instead, Wild Bill decides to blast a tunnel through a cliff directly toward Cobra Mountain.

Back at Cobra Mountain, Shipwreck is being led off by three Crimson Guardsmen. As he pleads his case, one of the Siegies takes him into a room and hands him his gun. while he enters the access code into the Cobra computer. Shipwreck attempts to get the drop on him, but the Siegie explains that he's Agent Faces, one of the new Joes. Shipwreck rather sheepishly admits that he missed the briefing on that.

The two of them, with a renewed sense of purpose, head out to fight the good fight together!

Outside, the Joes are pinned down but the hangar door is starting to open! The Joes breach Cobra Mountain, causing Cobra Commander to freak out and order the BATs to attack. Destro takes fifty of them but Storm Shadow is nowhere to be seen.

Shipwreck, Agent Faces and Polly run down a hallway and run into two Cobra Guards standing guard on a doorway. (I *think* they're supposed to be Iron Grenadiers, based on stuff I've heard from folks online). The two guards fire, but Snake-eyes drops into the scene in the nick of time to save them by deflecting the laser blasts with his sword. Scarlett gets the coup de grace by pinning both guards to the wall with a crossbow bolt each to the shoulder.

The other Joes have the Cobra troops on the run, until Cobra releases the MIRC-driven, nigh-indestructible BATs.

Beachhead spots Destro and tells Duke, who notices the MIRC headset.

Shipwreck and Agent Faces' group runs into Storm Shadow. Snake-eyes and Storm Shadow prepare to face off against one another again in a Ninja Showdown (now available at your nearest superstore!). Snake-eyes pulls the pin off of one of the grenades that Storm Shadow has clipped to him and during the resultant explosion Faces, Shipwreck and Scarlett make a break for Mindbender's lab.

The Super-BATs are pummeling the other Joes. Duke doesn't want to pull back yet, thinking that the Joes need to win this fight *here*.

Wild Bill and Hightech literally burst onto the scene as the Patriot Grizzly tank breaks through the cliff wall and defies Newton's Second Law of Motion as it flies across the canyon and lands inside the hanger, where it proceeds to go after the BATs. One of the BATs manages to hit the tank, damaging it and temporarily shutting it down. Wild Bill sends Hightech out to fix the damage.

Storm Shadow and Snake-eyes continue their fight in CC's throne room, hopping around like ninja-fleas. The scene itself is kind of dark, so it was hard for me to follow much of the action.

Scarlett, Faces and Shipwreck arrive at the lab, only to find that the Baroness and Mindbender are waiting for them. The Baroness tells Mindbender to deal with them, since she has to go help deal with the Joes.

Shipwreck and Co. run away from Mindbender and his guards. Mindbender gives chase, but the Wrecking Crew get the drop on him and he has to escape by using magic whooshing powder.

Hightech manages to get the tank working again, allowing him and Wild Bill to go after the BATs.

The Baroness puts on the second MIRC helmet, taking control of the remaining BATs.

Duke calls Destro out, challenging him to a one on one fight, no quarter asked, no mercy given. Destro agrees.

In direct contrast, Scarlett manages to get the drop on the Baroness and the two of them go at it without the fancy pre-throwdown speechifying that the boys had to get into.

Both groups of BATs have a Crimson Twins moment when their controllers are taken out by the Joes. A *really* ugly looking Flint praises Duke for taking out half the Cobra army with one punch.

The Baroness flees after Scarlett defeats her.

There's more ninja fighting between Snake-eyes and Storm Shadow with all the usual overblown chop-socky goodness.

Cobra Commander takes off in the stolen and repainted NAC as his forces make a break for it. Wild Bill takes CC and the chopper on, destroying the NAC by diving the Patriot Grizzly into it. Hightech is finally getting into the swing of things.

The Joes flee as the Cobra Mountain prepares to take the "express into Boomtown" as Heavy Duty so nicely puts it.

Snake-eyes and Storm Shadow's ninja battle ends in a draw, since the mountain is crumbling around them.

Zartan takes on Shipwreck's face again and tries to take out Agent Faces. But Polly attacks his face and the real Shipwreck takes him out before the real Shipwreck and Agent Faces flee.

The Joes leave the mountain, having won. The music is pretty low-key, but I think that's more to show that the Joes don't gloat over their victories.

"Well done troops," Duke tells his forces. "You fought with VALOUR in the fight for freedom. Let's go home."

"Yo Joe!" the troops chorus.

Cut to Dr. Mindbender and Cobra Commander, commiserating after the battle:
Mindbender: "My VENOM troopers! All my research for my superior warrior race gone! Destroyed by the Joes!"
Cobra Commander: "Never mind, Mindbender. You can just start over."
Mindbender: "Start over?!"
Cobra Commander: "I was getting tired of the mountains anyway. Don't' we have a citadel in a nice jungle somewhere?"

And thus, we roll credits and the movie ends.

Summary: Folks seem to either love or hate Spy Troops, which is pretty much what I expected from the adult fans. The few anecdotes I've heard about kids watching the show seems to point to them enjoying it a great deal. One person talked about her three-year-old nephew pointing out all the toys he had. Someone else's six-year-old cousin was disappointed when the show ended. And a friend's four-year-old son also enjoyed it, even though his favorite, General Hawk, was nowhere to be seen. A second friend's four-year-old daughter who prefers movies with princesses and Christmas specials even liked it (mainly because it had a girl in it). And that same friend’s nine-year-old son was asking for an apple for a snack shortly after watching Spy Troops. So, it sounds like Hasbro did a good job reaching their core audience for this. Which is good for adult fans, since the kids are what fuels the toys which in turn fuels future movies and the current comics.

Were the physics silly? Ayep, though it took me until the fourth watching when I was taking review notes to realize that all things considered, the Patriot Grizzly should have been blown back down it's own tunnel than out across the ravine.

Intellectually, I know this movie is implausible, illogical and impossible and was intended, just like EVERY SINGLE OTHER GI JOE CARTOON AND COMIC to sell the toys. It was packaged with two figures for that reason, Wal-Mart ran those special sales during the original CN broadcast for that reason, there's the mail-in offer for Agent Faces's figure for that reason. I know all this, I knew it when I picked up the set at Wal-Mart and I know it now.

But I just don't care. I didn't pick up Spy Troops: The Movie expecting documentary-style realism. Neither was I expecting a return to the Sunbow series. Or to the Marvel comics series. What I wanted was what I got: a fun diversion with a good story that amused me. And a couple cool figures that'll look neat in my cubicle at work, should I decide to take 'em there. Basil the BAT cat surely does like 'em too, though he sees them more as a couple chew toys.

Anyway, I'll hop off the soapbox and get to the actual review with the usual Good/Bad/Final Thoughts stuff:

The Good: First and foremost, the writing. Larry Hama did a good job on this script. For those not in the know, Larry Hama was the man who wrote the vast majority of the GI Joe comic series from Marvel Comics. He was on the book for its entire 12-year run and it's easier to count the number of issues he didn't write than to count the ones he did. He also created the idea of doing filecards for the Joe characters (and wrote many of those filecards himself), created the Baroness character (making her the first character to go from comics to toy) and was the basis for the head sculpt for Tunnel Rat. In many ways, Larry Hama’s responsible for breathing life into GI Joe: Real American Hero and for help making it what it is today. He's not alone in this, by any means, but to ignore his contribution would be folly.

The announcement that Hama would be writing the Spy Troops movie was met with equal parts excitement and trepidation by Joe fans. The lines were drawn, as they so often are, between fans of the original Sunbow cartoon and the original Marvel comic. Comic fans were excited to see Larry Hama back to writing GI Joe (apparently having forgotten the widely panned story arc he did for Frontlines) while cartoon fans were disappointed that Hasbro would bring in Hama instead of one of the writers from the original Sunbow series. The announcement helped reignite the flames of the Comics Vs. Toon debate that occasionally runs rampant through online Joedom. If you missed this, be glad and don’t worry, it’ll be coming back around again any day now. It’s like perpetual motion, if we could figure out a way to get energy from it, we’d all have free power for eternity.

Personally, I count myself in as one of the many Joe fans that like both the Sunbow series and the Marvel comic more or less equally, if for different reasons. I like Hama's work and think he did a pretty damn amazing job on what was basically a 22 page toy commercial, but as a writer he's not without his faults. I don't feel he deserves the, for want of a better word, deification that some fans give him. And from what I can tell from interviews with Mr. Hama, neither does he. He was given a job, he did it and he enjoyed it, but it was at day's end a job for him.

I'll admit I myself was a bit worried about Hama writing the Spy Troops movie. Not because of any fears that the 'Sunbow legacy' would be ignored, but more because Larry Hama's writing can be spotty at times. When the man is good, he's *GOOD* (see issue #155 for an excellent example) but when he's bad, he can be awful.

Luckily, Hama was on his game for this one. His writing style seems suited to animation, which makes sense since a comic book is rather like an animated film that doesn't move. The overly expositionary writing that bogged down so much of Hama’s work on the comics fits here since this is the first time we're meeting the Spy Troops characters.

One of the things I cannot praise enough about this movie is the way that the obvious bits weren't. For example, the entire Zartan as Shipwreck bit grows out of the story. We don't start off the movie knowing that Shipwreck is really Zartan. Yeah, it becomes more obvious (especially to adults) by the time the Joes are sitting down to dinner, but it's not crammed down your throat obvious like it could have been.

The Bad: Honestly, there's not much I didn't like about this one. And a lot of the things I could call 'bad' are the same sorts of faults that every GI Joe animated series has had. Troopers who can't hit for squat, vehicles that behave in impossible ways, and evil schemes that are way too complex to actually succeed were all staples of the original Sunbow cartoon series and have appeared in every other animated incarnation to follow. Heck, they even showed up in the comics from time to time. Singling out Spy Troops for these faults seems unfair and mean-spirited. So I ain't gonna do it. Neener.

I do have a few minor quibbles. Firstly, it would have been nice to see more of Hightech. Agent Faces got a nice intro and actually got to do quite a bit in the movie, but Hightech's whole purpose seemed to be "Rides around with Wild Bill and screams a lot". Granted, in 44 minutes there's not a whole lot of extra time to waste for characterization, but it would have been nice to see the other newbie Joe in the movie get some more screen time.

And while we're on the subject, the movie should have been longer (*whinewhine*), if only because I like longer movies. 'Course, the format to this one made it ideal to fit into a 1 hour block of time on Cartoon Network and making it shorter does make it easier to repeat it, not to mention this was written to a kid's attention span but…*WHINE* I wanted a longer movie!

The animation could have been better; though according to an interview with the guys from ReelFX, they had something like three and a half months to complete the picture, from concept sketches to final work so I'll cut them some slack. Especially since they say the next film will be better. Though, I still really wish they could have fixed Flint's face in that one scene where he's praising Duke for taking out half the Cobra army with one punch. *shudder* And, again, I would much rather have seen cell animation than CGI but that's a personal preference that I hold to even though I really liked Beast Wars/Beast Machines.

Final Thoughts: Overall, I don’t feel like I wasted my time or my money on this one. Was definitely worth picking up and I did enjoy it. About the only folks I wouldn't recommend this to are the ones who won't be picking it up anyway, so there's that settled.

Favorite DVD Feature: Hands down, it's the Easter egg preview for Venom vs. Valour. That Irish bear just cracks me up.