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Two
Heart Attacks
It
only takes two heat attacks
To finally make you see -
One of them won't do it
but the second will set you free!
Tell all your hate and anger
it's time to say 'goodbye'
and that is just what I will do
when those bastards I work for die!
Lalalalalalalala!
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Smelly
Cat
Smelly
cat, smelly cat,
what are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat,
it's not your fault.
They won't take you to the vet.
You're obviously not their favourite pet.
You may not be a bed of roses,
And you're no friend to those with noses.
Smelly cat, smelly cat,
what are they feeding
you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat,
it's not your fault.
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Two
Of Them Kissed Last Night
There
was a girl, we'll call her Betty,
And a guy, let's call him Neil.
Now I can't stress this point too strongly,
this story isn't real.
Now
our Neil must decide,
who will be the girl that he casts aside?
Will Betty be the one who he loves
truly or will it be the one who we'll call L-Lulie?
He
must decide, he must decide.
Even though I made him up...
he must decide.
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Little Tony
Tarzan
Little Tony
Tarzan
Swinging on an nose hair
Swinging with the greatest of ease...
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Holiday
Song
Went
to the store, sat on Santa's lap.
Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of
crap.
Said all you need is to write them a song,
Now you haven't heard it yet so don't try to
sing along.
No! Don't sing along!
Monica, Monica,
have a happy Hanukkah.
Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross.
And please tell Joey, Christmas will be
snowwwwwy
And Rachel and Chandler, (mumbles something)
handler!
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The
Barnyard Animal Song
Oh
the cow in the meadow goes moo.
Oh the cow in the meadow goes moo.
Then the farmer hits him on the head and
grinds him up...
And that's how we get
hamburgers.
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What
Happened To Grandma?
Now
grandma's a person who everyone likes,
She bought you a train and a bright shiny
bike.
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner
and last time you saw her she
looked so much thinner.
Now your mom and your dad said she moved to
Peru, but the truth is she died
and someday you will too. |
New
York City Has No Power
New
York City has no power,
And the milk is getting sour.
But to me this is not scary,
Cause I stay away from dairy!
Lalalalalalalala!
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In
The Shower
I'm
in the shower
and I'm writing a song.
Stop me if you've heard it.
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
And Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Lather, rinse, repeat,
As needed!
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Suicide
And A Snowman
I
made a man with eyes of coal and a smile so bewitchin'.
How was I supposed to know that my mom was
dead in the kitchen?
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