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Restaurant review: Traditions, Tyler, Texas
***** (of five)

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Cafeteria dining is a mainstay of Southern living, and although I grew up in the North, I must say this is something I could get used to. I remember several Thanksgivings visiting my Nana Sparks in Shreveport, which is where she and Papa moved after the War, and going to Luby's for their awesome turkey dinner. I was always amazed at the selection of entrees and side dishes. I guess the food critic in me was always there, and Nana used to always laugh as I'd give my expert opinions on whatever it was I had selected to eat. "This carrot salad is really boss, Nana," I'd say as she'd nod in agreement and laugh as I tried to imitate my favorite mid-80's celebrities.

Nana passed away seven years ago, although nobody realized it until the neighbors started complaining about the smell coming from her apartment, and that was about three weeks after she died. Needless to say, it it was a closed-casket funeral, which suited me just fine, because I remember, when I was very little, having to lean over the casket and kiss my Papa on the cheek, and the coffin lid fell on my head and knocked me out for almost eight hours, and I had a HUGE knot on my head for the next week or so and totally missed out on the snacks at the wake, and I developed a fear of open-casket funerals which lasts to this day.

Anyway, I always liked going to Luby's with Nana. So while I was trailing Kevin during his recent visit to Tyler, I was thrilled when I learned that he and his parents were headed to Traditions, Tyler's hottest new cafeteria-style restaurant. Think cafeteria's are boring? Think again! The first thing that struck me about Traditions was the bouquet of flowers that greets diners at the entrance. VERY classy! As I entered the line, about five people behind Kevin, the first thing that struck me was the fact that the serving staff weren't wearing aprons, they had on crisp white shirts and bow ties. Again, very classy. And when I sat down at my table, I was greeted by Mike, my waiter. No anonymous Mexican bus girls here!

What impressed me most about Traditions was the food (and let's face it, that's what counts), and it was almost as glossy as the atmosphere. It looked like someone had taken my plate and sprayed Pam all over it. I ordered the barbecued chicken, with corn and green beans as sides. The chicken glistened with a sweet, tangy glaze that cried out "eat me now!" And I could almost see my reflection in the green beans -- I don't know what it was (it tasted kind of bacony), but whatever it was they added, it sure made the beans shiny and delicious. The corn was playfully slippery enough to pass through my mouth almost unnoticed, except for the awesome buttery flavor.

The only thing that bothered me was that the wait staff seemed at bit too attentive at times. At one point, Mike took my bowl of green beans I had set aside, even though I wasn't finished yet and there were a few green beans left in the dish. I can only hope that my 25 cent tip left him the message to ASK before taking something I paid for!

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