The Holy Book of SOCKISM is called the BEANO and it teaches that socks are compulsory for all people at all times. This law is enforced by the SECRET FORCES OF THE HOLY ORDER OF SOCKISM, consisting of heavily armed gibbons, highly skilled in the ancient art of the Ninja Turtle. They learn from their Guru Gerbil known as SPHINCTER to focus their minds for the eternal struggle against the evil forces of SHREDDIES (Frosted) and KERRANG! (Available from most good newsagents, and lots of bad ones as well).
SOCKISM is fast becoming more popular than Christianity, especially in remote parts of Borneo and Botswana, where SOCKIST MISSIONARIES have worked tirelessly to enlighten the minds and enrich the lives of the natives. Over the years the number of members has increased dramatically from 2 in 1751 to...OOOOOH, WELL LOADS, too many to count really......really......CABBAGE ATTACK!!
The Holy Book of SOCKISM tells of the quest of a young lad named SOCKBOY, to find a comfortable pair of socks in Afghanistan during the harsh winter of 1023. His search came to an end when the Holy Spirit dropped a pair of socks down into the Gobi Desert. The place where the socks were found became the site where SOCKBOY built the Holy Village of MATALAN, known today as MATALAN.
Over the years the village has grown to become a city, as followers have moved to a local BARRET'S ESTATE to be closer to the birthplace of their faith. Hundreds of people make a pilgrimage to the Holy City every day and are rewarded richly with HIGH QUALITY GOODS AT LOW, LOW PRICES!!!. It boasts the largest variety of socks anywhere in the Gobi Desert.
Anyone can follow the Sockist faith . To start the continuously delightful journey of SOCKISM all you need is to believe in socks. Be true to them, always wear them or THE GIBBONS'LL GET YA!! (an exception can be made in bed during the summer as a close friend of mine, a follower, had to have a FOOT AMPUTATED after the circulation in his foot was cut off by a particularly MALEVOLENT PAIR OF TARTAN GOLF SOCKS).
For further information please e-mail me, Johnny le Socks, on sockism@hotmail.com
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