In my early years of high school I started to dye my hair in an array of colors.
I would bleach it white and then add crazy colors, first turquoise, after that orange with red, canary yellow and so on. At that time I lived in suburbia with my Mum & Dad. I had just returned from London and had loads of fresh gear. In the early 80’s you could wear your gear on the street and walk around like a freak. A poser was someone who only dressed up for the clubs at night. We had our little group of freaks at my school and we all appreciated each other’s individual style. I remember my mum got really psycho on me at some point, (now that I look back on it I think it could have been menopausal?) “How can you disgrace your family dressing up like a peacock and parading around!” Mum said. My Ukrainian dad would just laugh at me and say “ Nicky, why you want to look like a fairy?” I would just walk out of the house feeling relieved to on my way into the city. Suburbia is limited for a freak and the cities are more culturally inviting. Unfortunately, though, you can still encounter suburbia in the city. One time while waiting for a bus in the early hours of the morning a car full of Jersey boy rednecks pulled up to taunt me, “you fucking faggot!” They screamed with bone chilling terror in there voice. Well, I had just had a fabulous night at the club and danced till dawn. I was full of myself, so I fired back, “Oh you’re just jealous and all repressed homophobic white trash, go back to jersey”. Of course all 6 jumped out of the car and chased me down into the subway. Thankfully I out ran them and was skilled in subway tunnel navigation. I can’t believe I ran that fast in combat boots? “Whew”. Later I started to pack a very realistic toy gun that I bought at Kiddie City. When situations like that would happen, I flash that gun and watch those fag bashers scatter like rats. Today I can say with pride I’m a poser and I work in New York as a freelance makeup artist dressing professionally conservative during the day. When I go out I avoid confrontation and if dressed, as my heart desires I only take cabs or am driven. Usually I get dressed at a friends apartment and find there is safety in numbers. If verbally assaulted directly and someone demands an explanation I simply tell people, “yes I’m gay and expressing myself as I choose to freely without hurting anyone. Now fuck off.”
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