Judge Judith Sheindlin

To hear Judge Judy lying about herself, click here

What can you say?...it's HER... I prefer not to use fowl language, in case younger children happen to come across this site, but let's face it.... WHO calls people "applesauce?" Just by that fact, it's proven that she's ancient. And it's also a known fact that truly ancient people tend to lose their minds...

How can she be a fair judge, if she looks like a criminal herself?

Plain and simple. Judge Judy is bitchy and mean. She calls people liars in her courtroom -- how exactly would SHE know if they were lying or not? She should be the covergirl for Prozac. Actually, come to think of it... if she WAS the covergirl for Prozac, Prozac wouldn't make much money. People would think "Man, Judge Judy uses Prozac? Well it obviously isn't working!!"

Now, unlike that handsome guy Bob Barker, Judge Judy looks wayyy older than she actually is, or that she actually claims to be. If she continues being as bitchy as she is, to people in her courtroom, then she may just give herself a heart attack. Of course, that wouldn't be all bad, but I'm not wishing any harm, or death to her.

"And You Ought To Be Ashamed Of Yourself!"
"That must be the S-O-D-D-I principle - 'Some other dude done it'"
"On your BEST day you're not as smart as I am on my worst day"
"ay! QUIET!"
"If you live to be a hundred you will never be as smart as me"
"Do I have stupid written over my forehead?"
"Yeah, and I was born in 1965."
"Have you ever heard of the KISS principle? Keep It Simple, Stupid?"
"This is not Let's Make a Deal, and I'm not Monty Hall!"
"When you mess around with Jail-bait, you accept the consequences!"
"I'm here because I'm smart, not because I'm young and gorgeous.... although I am!"
"DON'T lie to me!"
"This is my courtroom I can say what I want. When you become a Judge, we will talk."
"Do you feel as if you're getting whipped? (laughs) You sure are!"
"You spent seventy-two dollars getting your hair done? You wasted your money!"
"Two people can't talk at the same time. When my mouth is moving, it means that you need to be quiet."
"Do you know when a gift becomes a loan? When the relationship is over. Have you ever heard that, sir? Well, neither have I. I just made it up. I'm going to put it on coffee mugs."
"Sir, the table didn't have three beers and get up and move!!!"
"You are not a good witness. Because a good witness answers a Judge's question directly, and my question to you was a very simple one. A SIX YEAR OLD COULD ANSWER IT!!!"
"My grandmother always told me; beauty fades, but dumb is forever!"
"gotta job? well get one!"
"Of course I’m right, I’m always right."
"I got an A for Torts in Law School."
"BALONEY SIR!"
"I'm like a truth machine."
"I'm the boss applesauce."
"l have 3 sons so l know you are no gift! You're not even good looking!!"
"This birthday is going to be more expensive than you thought!"
"That's going to be the most expensive curse word you ever said!"
"Did you just curse at him? Get out!"
"If you live to be a hundred you will never be as smart as me" "Ridiculous --- NEXT!"
"I think you ought to be quiet. You know, they don't need anybody stirring up the pot. You're a pot-stirrer."
"Sir don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining."
"Do I look like I need help from you?"
"This is your aggravation. Not his. He doesn't want your aggravation...Byrd doesn't want your aggravation... do you Byrd?"
"Did you forget you were coming to coming to court today?"
"I don't care what you think! I'M the one who has to make a determination what is fair."

(Quotes taken from here)

Here is a "court case" that the X-Men have with Judge Judy. I got this off a webpage, which can be located here

Baitliff: Case is Bishop vs. Deathbird. ALL RISE!

(Bishop is sueing Deathbird for "Unlawful Restraint.")

Judy: So, Mr. Bishop. How did she "unlawfully restrain you"?

Bishop: Well, I was on her space ship, I asked her to get me home, she wouldn't, then we were God knows where.

Deathbird: I OBJECT!

Bishop: SHUT UP DEVIL WOMAN!

(Bishop pulls out a laser gun and fires at Deathbird's head, barely missing, the baitliff arrests him.)

Bishop: WHAT?! I'm from another time! In my time, we're allowed to do that! Even though it seems like I've been here for years, I have a hard time adjusting.

(Bishop is taken away, later released.)

Baitliff: Next case: Remy LeBeau vs. "Rogue."

(Remy is sueing Rogue for "Violation of The Good Samaritan Law.")

Judy: How did Rogue violate the "Good Samaritan Law?"

Gambit: Well, you see, I was going to die on Antarctica, so dis girl over here leaves me dere! Can you believe it?! I mean, if you know I'm going to die, at least TRY to help me out here.

Judy: Rogue, your take on this?

Rogue: Well, you see, Judge, Ah heard Remy's voice in mah head tellin' me ta' leve him there! Really!

Judy: You heard 'voices?'

Rogue: YEAH!

(Gambit busts out in laughter.)

Gambit: Like I would let you leave me in Antarctica? Please.

Judy: I'm sorry, Rogue, but you sound kinda' nuts. 'Voices in the head?' Please, the penguins Remy were hanging out with could have made up a better excuse. I grant the plaintiff, Remy LeBeau, $5000. Case dismissed.

Baitliff: Case is Summers vs. Grey

(Nathan Summers is sueing Nate Grey, for "identity duplication.")

Judy: Identity duplication?

Cable: Yes, Nate Grey has completely stolen my identity. He ruined my rep! I mean there are "two" of me running around in the world! You know how embarrasing that is?

Judy: Identity duplication?

X-Man: Yes, it means that I'm supposed to be trying to be him. I'm not, why would I try to be like this aging loser?

Judy: Identity duplication?

Cable: I am not aging! I just uhh... dye my hair! Yeah! That's it! I dye it!

Judy: Identity duplication?

X-Man: Dye? Please. You have more white hair than Magneto!

Judy: Identity duplication?

Cable: Magneto? That's it, wanna' take this outside?

X-Man: YEAH!

(Both versions of Nathan walk outside the courtroom, leaving Judy puzzled about Identity Duplication.)

Baitliff: Case is Summers and Grey vs. Askani.

(Mother Askani is sueing Scott Summers and Jean Grey for child support fees being overdue.)

Judy: So, who's the little orphan?

Mother Askani: Nathan Summers.

Judy: Oh, God, here we go with the "Identity Duplication" again!

Mother Askani: Well, I have taken care of Nathan since he was a baby and I haven't gotten one check!

Scott: How do you expect us to give it to you? Through the mail? You're 2000 years in the future!!

Askani: Oh, please! You're an X-Man! You have every invention since 'Star Trek!' Don't give me that!

(Jean Grey takes control of Judy's mind, making Judy think like Jean.)

Judy: Enough! Case dismissed in favor of the defendant!

Baitliff: Final case: Wolverine vs. Sabretooth.

(Wolverine is sueing Sabretooth for stealing his adamantium AND his gimmick)

Judy: So what was stolen?

Wolverine: Adamantium.

Judy: Ada-what?

Wolverine: Don't worry about it.

Judy: So, how did he steal your "gimmick?"

Wolverine: By taking the adamantium. Duh.

Sabretooth: HAW HAW! Hey, Judge, wanna see my nails?

(Sabretooth shows Judy the shiny adamantium.)

Judy: Heeheehee. You're funny Sabretooth.

Sabretooth: Well, I was walking down the street when I found this adamantium skeleton, so I put it on. How is that stealing?

Judy: Well... I don't know if that's believable, but I like your nails, so I award this case to Sabretooth.

Wolverine: You can't let him win.

Judy: Why?

Wolverine: Cuz, I'm the best at what I do!

Judy: Oh, I see. Well, Sabretooth, you owe Wolverine $5,000. And his gimmick back. COURT IS ADJOURNED!

Even though that's a made-up story, it still portrays the way Judge Judy thinks!

To find out why Judge Judy ticks some people off, click here

Judge Judy has always believed in the motto "just do it"

If you have any comments on Judge Judy, email me at: jennifer.s@attcanada.net