Towards-an-E-career

Sulekha 16 December 2001

Towards an E-Career
tinmoorthy

Anybody would be impressed reading the intro to the article Asokan Adventure published recently on Sulekha. It said, "I have known Abbas for some time now as a columnist on Sulekha. After more than a year of e-quaintance and delightful e-xchanges, I finally met him in Mumbai this August… Satya@Sulekha." After the massive strides in technology due to the inventions of e-mail and e-commerce, it is, of course, necessary to maintain the trend. Here is how e-nglish (pronounced e-inglish) can forge further ahead. Thank Satya for that!
 
 

Dear Sir,

Like everybody else my ol' man thought I would gain admission into one of the innumerable colleges in Bangalore. But that was not to happen (Who on earth will take you for your eighty one percent?). I do not mind the insult. But the injury was terrible. There was a seat going for a lakh and a half. My ol' man negotiated and got it for seventy grand and I was in some college whose name I have since e-rased from my memory. I also got a degree. In Zoology.

For some time the family believed I should be getting into the coveted Administrative Services. Appointments stopped 372 ranks above me. For a while I spent time in video parlours and later in cybercafes. Then a friend of mine advised I move with the times, become relevant and be counted in the mainstream. He put me in a proper institution that had a corporate headquarters and franchisees in 278 towns. It was not the ordinary kind of kid stuff that school dropouts take for two weeks. This was more serious.

So I added a few more qualifications. I e-m-bellished1 my already comprehensive e-ducation2. I majored in e-soterics3 and e-cology4. I fared better in the e-x-aminations5 this time and they gave me a special e-degree6.

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1 e-m-bellish v.tr. beautify, adorn with Java, Oracle & ERP
2 e-ducation n. instruction, a course taught with passport and visa
3 e-soterics n. science of intelligence obtainable only with a special knowledge, for example, browsing
4 e-cology n. study of survival in an e-l-ectronic e-n-vironment
5 e-x-amination n. test on the screen with no record as to proof
6 e-degree n. virtual, invisible when power is off
 
 
 
 

Page 2
 
 

Then they thought I must have some practical e-x-perience7. So they trained me in E-nadu8 in the disciplines of e-conomy9 and e-business10.

The future lies in cultivating an e-culture11. To be an e-n-gine12 in e-commerce13 you need to concentrate your e-nergies14 not on your e-nemies15 or e-motions16 but on the e-f-ficiency17 e-nunciated18 by the e-m-cees19 of e-f-fluence20. Those who e-spoused21 these principles are in the cloud nine of e-cs-tasy22 and have joined the ranks of Bill Gates, Narayanamurthy and Sabeer Bhatia. It is so e-lementary23, my dear Watson! So e-lementary!

As you might have observed already my E-nglish24 is e-x-cellent25. My e-x-pression is without blemish, up-to-date and devoid of any e-c-centricity! Besides, I am also e-x-cited26.

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7 e-x-perience n. that which counts for a quick jaunt off-shore
8 e-nadu n. a far off land of e-governance, paperless offices, flexi-hours, long coffee breaks and great vacations
9 e-conomy n. resources, affluence of e-cash, e-card and virtual money
10 e-business n. comparable only to showbiz, but transacted at lightning speeds
11 e-culture n. evolving protocols for the e-world
12 e-n-gine n. prime mover in the new millennium
13 e-commerce n. a brand new technique for barter, using modems instead of phones
14 e-nergy n. the power of the 21st century
15 e-nemy n. one who sends a reminder every two hours over the network
16 e-motion n. new sentiments for the new millennium, for example, fear of Y2K, Skylab, disc crash or denied access
17 e-f-ficiency n. the thruput of a word processor or a spreadsheet
18 e-nunciate v.tr. say with e-m-phasis and conviction
19 e-m-cee n. the upcoming oracles of the e-mancipated e-world
20 e-f-fluence n. the prosperity of the discarded incompatible e-ware
21 e-spouse v. tr. to accept and follow as a religion, e.g. Linux
22 e-cs-tasy n. state of mind when you are finally connected to the Internet Server, e-nirvana
23 e-lementary adj. as obvious as point and click
24 e-nglish n. a style in e-x-pression understood by netizens
25 e-x-cellent adj. inter-operable, compatible for world trade
26 e-x-cite v.tr. waiting to make the first million dollars
 
 
 
 

Page 3

Your ad came as an e-lixir27 to a re-trenched, not yet re-e-m-ployed e-n-dividual. Given a position in your organisation, believe me, I will demonstrate my prowess in e-tiquette28.

Yes, I am waiting to be e-lanced29 into a new e-career30.

Yours sincerely,
Tinmoorthy

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27 e-lixir n. the amrit (nectar) for the new generation
28 e-tiquette n. proper conduct and deportment in e-business as opposed to netiquette (or the sheer absence of it)
29 e-lance As of going to the Press the word is not found in the Oxford Dictionary
30 e-career As of going to the Press the word is not found in the Oxford Dictionary

Index
 

Towards an E-career by Tinmoorthy 

After the massive strides in technology due to the inventions of e-mail and e-commerce, it is, of course, necessary to maintain the trend. Here is how e-nglish (pronounced e-inglish) can forge further ahead.

[ Dec 17 , 2001 ] 

 

 


 
 
 
 

Reader Comments

Dec 17, 2001

3 Lebi 

2 rk 

Dec 16, 2001

1 Beddaperumal 


 
 
 
 

All Comments 

Page 1 of 1

3 Dec 17 2001: Lebi 

h-e h-e h-e! 

I e-njoyed it!!

 

 

 

 

 

2 Dec 17 2001: rk 

e-xcellent , d-e-lightful and e-nternatainig article .

 

 

 

 

 

1 Dec 16 2001: Beddaperumal 

 
Delighted and found the advice most relevant in the present ongoing crisis -- beddu

 

 

 

 

 

Index