An Ode To A Skunk

Poor, poor , Barb,has a smell in her house.
It's not a cat,dog or a mouse.
She thought and she thunk,
Boy, it sure smells like a skunk.
So, she took Nelda's advise and donned lots of clothes and a mask.
Got her trusty broom and took on the task.
She found it in the garage by her heater,
Barb raised her broom to the skunk to greet her.
The skunk ran to the woods,
Barb clapped her hands and said "GOOD".
The skunk left something behind.
Darn near caused Barb to go blind.
The dogs got a nasty spray,
"Oh,Lord ,help me Barb did Pray".
With the skunk now on the loose,
Barb went to buy some tomato juice....

~Milly Piros~

Bud was a man, sure as not
He had an old dog he named Hot
one night by a bon fire
Bud began to perspire
his jacket ablaze, that he'd just bought.

Someone for the salt shaker, dove
they had once used it on a burning stove
another said drop and roll!!
the fire's taking it's toll!!
While old dog, Hot, a muscle didn't move

One quipped, salt's for burning fat!
another said, I'm not touching that!
no matter what you think
burning nylon does stink
poor Bud now was cold where he sat.

"A so'more will make you feel better
now someone get Bud a sweater!"
the folks all pitched in,
got him warm once again,
but poor Bud still looked under the weather.

Bud stared at his sleeping dog Hot,
Who hadn't moved from his spot,
Bud said," Now I'm not a meanie,
but you were a weenie,
while I was simmering like a pot."

Old Hot just looked up at him,
and I swore I saw that dog grin
" a hot dog I am not,
but I love you a lot."
That old dog spoke right there and then.

Now you might not believe this old tail.
and the rhymes may make you jus wail
puns are intended,
and this I am sendin.
to you in this silly e-mail!!!

~Bev Bishop~

There once was this guy named Bud,
Who found a kitten in the scrub.
He took her to his  home,
She no longer would roam,
And always have plenty of grub.

Bud was seriously smitten,
With the antics of his little kitten,
"Pixie," he named her.
And she would just purr,
With all the attention she was gettin'.

Bud's shoulder was her favorite place,
To hold court, right there by his face,
So proudly she'd ride,
She didn't need to hide,
She ruled with glory and grace.

Getting on his shoulder was the thing,
For her tiny claws they did sting.
She dug them right in,
As she climbed upon him,
Unaware of the pain she did bring.

One morning when Bud did awake.
A shower he prepared to take,
Pixie thought a climb,
Then would be sublime,
Tho' perhaps she made a mistake.

As Bud was preparing his shower,
Miss Pixie eyed her fair bower,
But, Buds pink bare skin,
Allowed for little traction,
Claw marks left a trail to her tower.

She had just made it to her seat,
When the shower water she did meet,
You should have seen the surprise
That registered from her eyes,
As she beat one hasty retreat!!

~Bev Bishop~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Dear Judy,

Sorry I was late,
I did not forget the date.
I did want to make you wait,
This birthday cake, I hope you don't hate.
iiiiiiiiiiiiii
~~~~~~~}
~~~~~~~}
Let's have a party,
And all eat hardy.
The cake does not have ham or green eggs,
The Ice cream will be in kegs,
It will be frozen hard
Packed in tightly like lard.
I hope you like the flavor,
The taste will be something to savor,
It does have green eggs and ham,
Cause Silly Milly I am.
Pappy Bud, light the candle,
This dumb poem is more than I can handle.

~Milly Piros~

There once was a lady named Jackie,
On her birthday she was feeling quite tacky,
"This cold is kickin my  rump,"
she said, "though I don't have a lump,
I just am not feeling too yakky."

But her list members still wish her well,
Even though she's feeling like H@##
They brought cake and ice cream,
The punch flowed like a stream,
as did good wishes,to break her ill spell.

Happy Birthday, wrote,all of these folks,
They sent her a few of their jokes,
she just had to smile,
for all the while,
she knew a giggle they would coax.

~Bev Bishop~