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OK, this paragraph is supposed to be about ME. However, I am not so interesting, so I'm going to write about Fuzzy Wuzzy. Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Well, he did, but male pattern baldness ran in his family. So anyway, all the kids used to make fun of poor old Fuzzy Wuzzy. They made fun of him relentlessly, and everyday, he'd go home and cry. Until one day, his mother came home with some Rogaine. That evening, there was much rejoicing in the Wuzzy household as Fuzzy Wuzzy grew a whole head of hair. The celebration came to a halt when, hours later, the hair had not stopped growing. This bear had hair out the wazoo. It was everywhere, man. So Fuzzy Wuzzy went to the barber. But the barber took one look at Fuzzy Wuzzy (who had become very fuzzy), and ran screaming into the night. So Fuzzy Wuzzy went to a succession of other barbers who were unable - or unwilling - to help. Eventually, Fuzzy Wuzzy came across the Italian Stallion Corner Barber Shop. Guido, the barber, cuts Fuzzy Wuzzy's hair into a lovely, Fonzi-style pompadour. However, Fuzzy Wuzzy is unable to pay. Guido's "uncle" Fat Toni, who owns the barber shop, demands payment. So they work out a deal: Fuzzy Wuzzy agreed to work in Fat Toni's other business, a club, and become a male stripper, shedding his clothes and his dignity. He had to change his name to Cantaloupe, however, when the Rogaine wore off. And they all lived happily ever after. THE END |
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