tony1

There was a girl named Tony. Yes, her name was Tony. Everybody always looked at her funny when she said that. It's not short for anything; her natural given name was Tony.

So anyway, Tony was walking down the street one day when she smelled something really good. Soon she realized that the beautiful fragrance was coming from the bakery, where there were luscious cookies in the window. But the bakery was all the way across the street. Tony wondered how she could have smelled the cookies from so far away. As she was pondering this, she tripped over a fire hydrant. Tony fell face forward onto the sidewalk and was knocked unconscious.

After the ambulance came and took her to the hospital, the doctors searched Tony for an ID. When they found her driver's license, they were astonished. When Tony woke up, they questioned her about her masculine name. They refused to believe that she had been born Tony and that she had been born a girl. One doctor called the FBI, and they were very suspicious. they rushed to the hospital to interview Tony. Even though she insisted that Tony was her real name, they didn't believe her. They arrested her for espionage.

The next day, Tony went to trial. Her lawyer showed her birth certificate and proof that she was a girl. But the jurors didn't believe her. It took them 10 minutes to find her guilty of spying. As her punishment, she was sent to the jungles of Guatemala.

When Tony arrived in Guatemala, she was very upset. She knew that she hadn't done anything wrong. It wasn't a crime to have a masculine name, and she definitely wasn't a spy.

"This is my parents fault," she grumbled. "Why couldn't they have given me a name like Stephanie or Elizabeth? Then everyone would know that I was a girl!" Tony began to cry as she walked through the jungle. Suddenly, she heard a voice behind her.

"Stop crying, you stupid skank!" the voice said. Tony turned around, but she didn't see anything. Then she looked down, and she saw a little wallaby.
"Did you just call me a skank?" Tony asked
"Yes," said the wallaby.
"OK," said Tony. But wait! I thought wallabies only lived in Australia?"

The wallaby explained to her that he had been wrongfully deported to Guatemala. his name was Pedro Conterras, and everyone thought he was Hispanic. When he was arrested for prostitution, the "Australian INS" assumed he was from either Guatemala or Argentina. They asked him where he would prefer to go, and he chose Guatemala. He had been living in the jungle there for 27 years.

Tony explained her story to Pedro, and soon they were comparing all the pain and trouble their names had caused them. they quickly fell in love and decided to get married.

But when they went to town to find a priest, everyone ignored them. Even though pedro had learned Spanish, the townspeople acted as though they didn't understand him. After two days of questioning, Tony and Pedro returned to the jungle, very frustrated.

The next day, tony found a killer whale who was willing to officiate over the ceremony. Even though he wasn't a priest, Tony and Pedro decided that he was good enough. They invited all of their Jungle Friends to the wedding. After the ceremony, they all did the Monster Mash until 2am.