tony2

A few weeks later, Tony and Pedro were figuring out what jobs they would get to support their soon-coming children. They decided that they would both be superheroes. Tony was Isopropanol Girl, providing the Guatemalans with an endless supply of rubbing alcohol while dousing criminals. Meanwhile, Pedro was Super Barber, using his incredible scissor-wielding skills to protect barber shops from the rampant racketeering. Their jobs were so respected and successful that many of the other jungle animals became superheroes. There was AfterShave Boy, The Stutterer, Bellybutton Lint Woman, PCP Maa, and many others. They all helped to make Guatemala a much safer place.

One day, Tony got a call from a friend in Louisiana, where she used to live. The Friend told Tony that a super villain named Evil Laugh Man was reeking havoc all over Shreveport. The townspeople had called the ATF, the Army, and even Extraordinarily Regular Guy, but none of them could defeat Evil Laugh Man.
"Alright, we're on our way!" said Tony.

Tony told Pedro and all the Jungle Friends about the problem. They all jumped on Super Dumbo's back and flew to Shreveport. But by then, Evil Laugh Man had already left, and he was on his way to Baton Rouge. So the superheroes took a Greyhound bus to Baton Rouge.

When they arrived, Evil Laugh man was terrorizing a specialty dental office.
"But why can't I get magnesium teeth?" he roared. "If rappers can have gold and platinum teeth, why can't I get magnesium teeth, which is much easier to find?"
And with that, he produced a tremendously evil laugh, which crumbledd the dental office.

"Oh, no!!!" cried the Saran Wrappinator. "We've got to stop him!" She ran around Evil Laugh man several times, leaving many layers of saran wrap around his legs. She then used her extra sharp blade to free herself of him.

Next, Super Ghetto Girl began scolding Evil Laugh Man, snapping her fingers and causing his ears to ring with her high-pitched, whiny voice. Meanwhile, Baby Daddy showed up and acted nice to Evil Laugh Man. Then Baby Daddy asked to borrow some money so he could buy some Nikes for his 3-week-old son. When Evil Laugh Man took out his wallet, Baby Daddy snatched it and ran away with Homewrecker.

Then, I'm-Not-Made-Of-Money Man bored Evil Laugh Man with endless cliches. At the same time, Super Barber came and shaved Evil Laugh Man's eyebrows, and then he drew in new ones halfway up his forehead. Finally, Isopropanol Girl came and doused Evil Laugh man with rubbing alcohol, causing him to melt.

When everyone realized that Evil Laugh Man was no longer a threat, they cheered for the Jungle Friends. They were heroes in the country, and President J.B. Pettiford [*ed: JBP] presented them with Purple Hearts. They were honored at a huge ceremony at the Magenta House, which had been recently painted to break up the monotony of white buildings and monuments in D.C.

When Tony was presented with her award, President Pettiford told her that she was welcome to move back to the United States. But Tony refused.
"Me and Pedro are moving to Siberia. We want to raise our children in a peaceful place."

And with that, the Fairy Godfather [*ed: not to be confused with the Godfather of Soul, James Brown] came, waved his wand over the Jungle Friends, and they all disappeared. When they arrived in Siberia, they all lived happily ever after (except for Eternally Angry Man).


                                                        THE END

                                                                                        [ed= editor's note]