Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure that they want to hear them.

When in another's house, show him/her respect or else do not go there.

If a guest in your house annoys you, ask him to leave.

Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the person and
he cries out to be relieved.

Acknowledge the power of magic if you have used it successfully to obtain your
desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will
lose all you have obtained.

Do not believe the power of a kind of magic unless it is consistently proved.

Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

Do not harm little children.

Do not kill living beings unless attacked or for your food in case there are no edible plants.

When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to
stop. If he does not stop, fight him/her.

Refrain from saying the unkind or negative thing, particularly when you are provoked or
fatigued.

Exercise patience with others. In times of stress, our impatience surfaces. We may say things
we don't really mean or intend to say all out of proportion to reality. Or we may become sullen,
communicating through emotion and attitude, rather than words, eloquent messages of criticism,
judgment and rejection. We then harvest hurt feelings and strained relationships. Patience is the
practical expression of faith, hope, wisdom and love. It is a very active emotion. It is not
indifference, sullen endurance or resignation. Patience is emotional diligence.

Distinguish between the person and the behavior or performance. While we may
disapprove of bad behavior and poor performance, we first need to communicate and
help build a sense of intrinsic worth and self-esteem totally apart from comparisons and
judgments. Doing this will powerfully inspire superior effort. The power to distinguish
between person and performance and to communicate intrinsic worth flows naturally out of
our own sense of intrinsic worth.

Perform anonymous service. Whenever we do good for others anonymously, our sense of
intrinsic worth and self-respect increases. Moreover, we gain insight into the worth of others
by serving them without expectation of publicity or reward. Selfless service has always been one of the most powerful methods of influence.

Keep the promises you make to others. By making and keeping our resolves and promises,
we win influence with others. To be and do better, we must make promises (resolutions,
commitments, oaths and covenants), but never make a promise we will not keep.

Live the law of love. We encourage obedience to the laws of life when we live the laws of love. People are extremely tender inside, particularly those who act as if they are tough and
self-sufficient. And if we'll listen to them with the third ear, the heart, they'll tell us so.
We can gain even greater influence with them by showing love, particularly unconditional love, as this gives people a sense of intrinsic worth and security unrelated to conforming behavior or comparisons with others. Many borrow their security and strength from external appearances, status symbols, positions, achievements and associations. But borrowing strength inevitably
builds weakness. We all distrust superficial human relations techniques and manipulative
success formulas that are separated from sincere love.

Assume the best of others. Assuming good faith produces good fruit. By acting on the
assumption others want and mean to do their best, as they see it, you can exert a powerful influence and bring out the best in them. Our efforts to classify and categorize, judge and measure, often emerge from our own insecurities and frustrations in dealing with complex, changing realities. Each person has many dimensions and potentials, some in evidence, most dormant. And they tend to respond to how we treat them and what we believe about them.
Some may let us down or take advantage of our trust, considering us naïve or gullible.
But most will come through, simply because we believe in them.

Seek first to understand. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. When we're
communicating with another, we need to give full attention, to be completely present.
Then we need to empathize see it from the other's point of view, "walk in his moccasins"
for a while. This takes courage and patience, and inner sources of security. But until people
feel that you understand them, they will not be open to your influence.

If offended, take the initiative. If someone offends you unknowingly and continues to do so,
take the initiative to clear it up. Consider two tragic consequences of not taking the initiative:
first, the offended one often broods about the offense until the situation is blown all out of
proportion; and second, we then behave defensively to avoid further hurt. When taking the
initiative, do it in good spirits, not in a spirit of vindication and anger. Also, describe your
feelings when and how the offense took place rather than judge or label the other. This preserves the dignity and self-respect of the other, who then can respond and learn without feeling threatened. Our feelings, opinions and perceptions are not facts. To act on that awareness takes thought control and fosters humility.

Admit your mistakes, apologize, ask for forgiveness. When we are party to seriously
strained relations, we may need to admit that we are at least partly to blame. When one is deeply hurt, he draws back, closes up and puts us behind prison bars in his own mind. Improving our behavior alone won't release us from this prison. Often the only way out is to
go to him and admit our mistakes, apologize, and ask forgiveness, making no excuses, explanations or defenses.

Let arguments fly out open windows. Give no answer to contentious arguments or irresponsible
accusations. Let such things "fly out open windows" until they spend themselves. If you try
to answer or reason back, you only serve to gratify and ignite pent-up hostility and anger.
When you go quietly about your business, the other has to struggle with the natural consequences of irresponsible expression. Don't be drawn into any poisonous, contentious orbit, or you'll find
yourself bitten and afflicted similarly.

Be influenced by them first. We have influence with others to the degree they feel they have
influence with us. As the saying goes, "I don't care how much you know until I know how much you care." When another feels you genuinely care about him and that you understand his unique
problems and feelings, he also feels he has influenced you. He will then become amazingly
open. We take the prescription because it is based on the diagnosis.

Accept the person and the situation. The first step in changing or improving another is to accept
him as he is. Nothing reinforces defensive behavior more than judgment, comparison or
rejection. A feeling of acceptance and worth frees a person from the need to defend and helps release the natural growth tendency to improve. Acceptance is not condoning a weakness or agreeing with an opinion. Rather, it is affirming the intrinsic worth of another by acknowledging
that he does feel or think a particular way.

Avoid fight or flight talk through differences.

Do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. If they do not reciprocate, communicate yourself clearly to avoid misunderstanding. If they persist, Do to others as they shall do unto you. This should be done on a person-to-person basis.

Know thyself.

Life is what you make it.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Anything that is worth doing at all is worth doing well.

The great essentials of happiness are something to do, something to love, and something to
hope for.

Knowledge is power.

Be calm and self-possessed, know what you are about, be sure you are right, then go ahead
and don't be afraid.

Keep skid chains on your tongue; always say less than you think. Cultivate a low,
persuasive voice. How you say it counts more than what you say.

Make promises sparingly, and keep them faithfully, no matter what it costs.

Never let an opportunity pass to say a kind and encouraging word to or about somebody.
Praise good work, regardless of who did it. If criticism is needed, criticize helpfully, never
spitefully.

Be interested in others, their pursuits, their work, their homes and families. Make merry
with those who rejoice; with those who weep, mourn. Let everyone you meet, however humble,
feel that you regard him as a person of importance.

Be cheerful. Don't burden or depress those around you by dwelling on your minor aches and
pains and small disappointments. Remember, everyone is carrying some kind of a load.

Keep an open mind. Discuss but don't argue. It is a mark of a superior mind to be able to
disagree without being disagreeable.

Let your virtues, if you have any, speak for themselves. Refuse to talk of another's vices.
Discourage gossip. It is a waste of valuable time and can be extremely destructive.

Be careful of another's feelings. Wit and humor at the other person's expense are rarely
worth it and may hurt when least expected.

Pay no attention to ill-natured remarks about you. Remember, the person who carried the
message may not be the most accurate reporter in the world. Simply live so that nobody will
believe them. Disordered nerves and bad digestion are a common cause of backbiting.

Don't be too anxious about the credit due you.

Do your best, and be patient. Forget about yourself, and let others "remember." Success is
much sweeter that way.

Observe and get to know where it hurts, then don't use it to hurt or abuse them.
 

Golden Rules for Living

 If you open it, close it.
 If you turn it on, turn it off.
 If you unlock it, lock it up.
 If you break it, admit it.
 If you can't fix it, call in  someone who can.
 If you borrow it, return it.
 If you value it, take care of  it.
 If you make a mess clean it  up.
 If you move it, put it back.
 If it belongs to someone  else and you want to use it,  get permission.
 If you don't know how to  operate it, leave it alone.
 If it's none of your  business, don't ask  questions.
 If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
 If it will brighten  someone's day, say it.
 If it will tarnish someone's  reputation, keep it to  yourself.

By Source Unknown
from Condensed Chicken Soup for the Soul
Copyright 1996 by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen & Patty Hansen
 

Compiled, condensed and modified from Stephen R. Covey, Ann Landers, Anton SLV, Chicken soup for the soul, and Daniel Starch.